


Through Death and Destruction

by hydrash



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:39:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 55,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28760427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydrash/pseuds/hydrash
Summary: Amaryllis Merrin thought she knew everything about her life but after finding herself as far away from home as she could be she knew that she was going to have to change in order to survive. But was it her who had to change or was it the world around her? Is survival worth losing yourself over?
Relationships: Regulus Black/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. Lost in Paradise

Running. That was all her mind was focused on. Something was chasing her. She wasn’t sure what it was or how it had found her, all she knew was that it was after her and the only way to survive was to run.

It was probably the adrenaline, although no one has ever been able to ever work out what happened, but as she ran the woods around her began to change. The trees started to grow closer together. The branches became more tangled in one another shielding the moon light from getting through.

The thing was, although there was less space for the moon light to get through the woods didn’t become any darker. It seemed as though the moon grew brighter. It was as though the waning crescent moon had grown into a full moon.

There was a howl. Amaryllis stopped. It was behind her. There was nothing behind her. Nothing was following her. She looked around confused. She had no idea where she was. This wasn’t the woods out the back of her house. She knew those woods like the back of her hand. The trees didn’t look like this and they certainly didn’t grow this close together.

Amaryllis stood listening for the sound of anything moving around her. She held her breath wanting to be as silent as possible. Then heard voices. They were feint but there.

Quickly and quietly she made her way in the direction of the voices. She had to find these people. She had to find out where she was.

As she reached the edge of the woods she looked out and saw three boys run out from a hole in the bottom of a tree. The moment the boys were out from under it the tree began to move. Amaryllis gasped. What the hell was going on?

She ran out from the woods after the boys. When she finally caught up to them she placed her hand on the shoulder of the one at the back causing him to yelp and turn around. The yelp he’d let out caused the other two to turn around with him.

“Who the bloody hell are you?” The one in the middle asked. Being in silhouette Amaryllis could only make out the mess of spiky hair on his head.

The British accent in which he spoke was so different from anything she’d ever heard in her town before she just stood there with her mouth open.

“He asked you a question.” The tallest of the three told her. His long shaggy curls were so different to that of his friend. “Who are you?”

“That’s none of your concern.” Amaryllis responded looking behind them to see where the light causing the boys to be silhouette was coming from. As he eyes trailed to the building behind them she gasped bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. They were standing in front of a giant castle. “Where in all hell am I?”

The three boys all looked at one another. Who was this girl? Where had she come from? And why did she not know where they were?

“Come on.” The first one spoke again. “Come back to our dorm and you can tell us what’s going on.”

“Are you trying to proposition me?” Amaryllis asked crossing her arms over her chest. “Because there’s three of you and one of me. And I don’t know you and am not in any way okay with that.”

“She’s a feisty one.” The second boy said to his friend.

The two boys started laughing and elbowing one another.

“No, of course not.” The first boy said to her.

“Prongs only has eyes for Evans.” The third boy said.

Amaryllis knew a confused look was spreading across her face. She had no idea what these boys were talking about.

“Fine.” She said to them after a moment. “You’ll need to show me where we’re going.”

The boys nodded and began to lead her up into the castle. The boy who Amaryllis assumed was the leader pulled two things out of his pocket. One seemed like some strange folded paper and the other was a strange, beautifully carved, stick.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” The boy said holding the stick against the strange paper.

Upon saying these words ink began to appear across it. In beautiful writing across the front of the paper it said; ‘Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers, are proud to present  
The Marauder’s Map.’

“What is going on?” Amaryllis muttered to herself as she watched the leader open the paper to reveal a map of what appeared to be the castle they were in. The strangest part of the map was that there were small footprint all over it, with names labelling each of them. What made the footprint even stranger was that they were moving.

“So it’s Amaryllis then.” The shaggy haired boy said turning away from the map to look at her.

“How did you know?” Amaryllis said. These boys were starting to freak her out.

“Right here.” The smallest boy said to her pointing to a spot on the map.

In the spot where the boy was pointing Amaryllis could see four sets of the footprints. As she looked over them she noticed what each of them said. James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. The thing that shocked her the most was the one next to it. Amaryllis Merrin. How did this map know her name?

“Quick, Filch is heading this way.” The first boy said.

The three boys moved to head off but Amaryllis, still in shock, found herself unable to move. The shaggy haired boy grabbed a hold of her arm and dragged her off in the direction they were heading.

Quickly they moved through the castle, up flights of stairs, through strange corridors, even though a small dark passage until eventually they reach a giant painting of a rather large woman. This had to be by far the strangest thing she had seen. The painting was moving.

One of the boys said something to the painting, she couldn’t remember who said it or what was said but at the word the portrait swung open to reveal a large hole. Amaryllis was almost in a trance at point. She was completely in shock that she had no clue what was going on.

All she could remember was being help through the hole by the boys. They led her through what appeared to be a large, cosy sitting room completely covered in red and gold. At the other end of the room there were two sets of stairs. The boys led her up one, although she could never remember if it was the left or the right one, and into a room with four beds.

“You can use Moony’s bed.” The shaggy haired boy told her directing her to the bed in the neatest area of the room. “He won’t be back until the afternoon.”

“Okay.” She said softly walking over and sitting on the bed, removing her shoes. “Wait. Can someone explain to me where I am and what the bloody hell is going on?”

“Welcome to Hogwarts.” The boy who Amaryllis was almost certain now was the leader. “I’m James Potter.”

“Sirius Black.” The shaggy haired boy said. “And that Peter Pettigrew.”

“The bed you’re on belongs to Remus Lupin but he’s down at the hospital wing tonight.” James explained to her.

“Okay.” Amaryllis said slowly as she looked around the room and at the boys. “What the hell is Hogwarts?”

The boys all looked at one another confused. They had never had to explain Hogwarts to anyone before.

“It’s a school for young witches and wizards to learn magic.” Peter told her.

“You’re shitting me.” Amaryllis said. “That’s entirely improbable. If there was something as ridiculous as this near my house I obviously would have discovered it by now. Besides, nothing interesting happens in Bairnsdale.”

Once again the boys looked at one another.

“Where’s Bairnsdale?” Sirius asked her.

“Kind of coastal, kind of not. Somewhat rural Victoria.” Amaryllis said looking for any recognition to come across the boys faces. When their expressions didn’t change she sighed and said; “Australia.”

At the exact same moment one pair of grey eyes, one pair of hazel eyes and one pair of watery blue eyes widened at her revelation.

“But that’s really far away.” Peter said.

“Where are now?” Amaryllis asked confused at why these boys were in as much shock as she had been before.

“Scotland.” James told her.

That was the final straw. Amaryllis’ mind could only take so much. She looked at the boys for any sign that they might be messing with her before she fainted.

* * *

Amaryllis woke when she felt someone watching her. It wasn’t pleasant for one to be watched while they slept. When she opened her eyes she saw someone standing over her. As everything came into focus she realised that the boy watching her was not someone she knew.

“Who are you?” She asked her voice coming out hoarse as she had just woken up.

“Who am I?” He asked a look of anger appearing on his face. “You’re the one in my bed. I should be the one asking who you are.”

“Oh, you must be Remus Lupin.” Amaryllis said remembering what had happened the previous night.

It was still so bizarre to think about what she had been told. None of it seemed real. It couldn’t be. Yet, it seemed as though it was.

“You seem to have your answer.” He said to her. “My question still stands. Who are you and what are you doing in my bed?”

“That’s two questions.” Amaryllis said but noticing the growl coming from the boy in front of her she dared stall any longer. “My name is Amaryllis Merrin. Your friends found me outside last night and said I could stay here as you wouldn’t be back until this afternoon.”

Amaryllis watched as he looked over her. It was obvious he was trying to decide whether he believed her or not.

“I’m going to kill those two.” He muttered to himself before sitting down on the edge of his bed, mindful of her legs.

Amaryllis let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t want this boy to be mad at her. She wasn’t trying to do anything wrong. She was only listening to what the others had told her.

“They said you were in the hospital wing.” Amaryllis said in an attempt to start a conversation. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Remus muttered not too sure how to react to this mysterious girl who was, for some reason, in his bed.

Neither said anything else. What exactly were they supposed to do? They didn’t know one another. They had no reason to converse.

Both were more than glad when the door to the dorm opened reveal James, Sirius and Peter.

“Moony, you’re back early.” Sirius said.

“Yeah, I am.” Remus responded bitterly. “Now explain this.”

Remus was pointing at Amaryllis who was now sitting up in his bed.

“Oh that’s just Liz.” Sirius responded. “Found her when we were walking back up to the castle last night.”

“Liz?” Amaryllis asked.

“We decided Amaryllis is too long and formal.” James said. “We’re calling you Liz.”

Amaryllis just shook her head at the boys.

“Why would you give her my bed?” Remus asked Sirius. “You’ve had plenty of other girls in yours.”

“You weren’t here.” Sirius told his friend.

“That doesn’t change anything Sirius.” Remus protested. “It’s still my bed. You can’t go giving it to whatever girl you’re shagging this week.”

“I’m not shagging Liz.” Sirius defended.

Amaryllis watched as the two boys continued arguing. She climbed out of the bed and walked over to where James and Peter were standing.

“Is this normal?” Amaryllis asked the two boys who weren’t currently screaming at one another.

“Pretty much.” James shrugged.

“Should I stop them?” She asked.

“Why would you?” James questioned. “It’s amusing seeing Moony so angry.”

“It’s me they’re arguing about.” Amaryllis said. “I don’t want to wreck your friendship.”

“Trust me, you won’t.” James told her. “You can stop it if you want though.”

Amaryllis nodded at James before turning back to the shouting match.

“Oi, stop it.” She yelled at the two. “Remus, I’m sorry for sleeping in your bed. I didn’t realise you were so defensive about it. Also I should have thought about it before I fell asleep, although I think I fainted from shock rather than falling asleep like a normal person.”

Remus just stared in shock at the small girl who was in front of him.

“On the other hand.” Amaryllis said as she turned to Sirius. “I think it’s absolutely atrocious that you sleep with so many girls that your friend thinks any girl who is here is your latest conquest. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”

With that Amaryllis turned and pushed passed James and Peter were both staring open mouthed at her. She stepped out of the room and stood outside the door letting out a deep breath while leaning against the wall waiting for the boys to realise how stupid they actually were.

It didn’t take long for Sirius to burst through the door. She knew he was ready to run down the stairs in order to search for her. When he noticed her sitting outside he calmed down and smiled at her.

“Sorry about all that.” Sirius said.

“It’s alright, really.” Amaryllis said. “I sounded like my mother yelling at the two of you.”

The two of them smiled at one another before they both went back into the dorm to see the other boys.

“Sorry for yelling at you.” Amaryllis said to Remus and Sirius. “I may have lost my temper.”

The five of them sat down on the floor.

“So what’s there to know about you guys?” Amaryllis asked looking around at the boys.

“Not much really.” Remus told her. “Those two are purebloods, we’re halfbloods.”

“Moony, she doesn’t care about blood status.” Sirius said.

“What does he mean?” Amaryllis asked.

Remus looked confused at the girl not knowing that she didn’t know anything about the magical world.

“Purebloods are witches or wizards without any non-magical blood in their ancestry.” James explained to her.

“It’s really just a way for people to make themselves more superior than others.” Sirius explained. “No one but the Slytherins actually care about it.”

“Slytherins?” Amaryllis asked.

“There are four houses at Hogwarts.” James explained to her. “Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. At the beginning of first year each student is sorted into one of these houses.”

“Seems rather discriminatory.” Amaryllis said.

“I suppose it could be viewed that way.” Remus said considering Amaryllis’ point of view.

“So what’s the deal with these Slytherins?” Amaryllis asked wanting to further understand the school she was currently hiding out in.

“They’re evil.” Sirius put plainly.

“Exactly what I mean.” Amaryllis responded. “Discriminatory. You’re putting them all into one box based on their house.”

“Sirius’ whole family is in Slytherin.” Peter told Amaryllis earning himself a glare from Sirius.

Amaryllis let out a sigh. These boys were not listening to her. She knew she couldn’t say she was the most accepting person but she attempted to at least give people a chance.

“Your whole family may be in Slytherin but the whole of Slytherin is not your family.” Amaryllis said.

Sirius turned his glare on Amaryllis. The other three boy began laughing knowing that Amaryllis was speaking the complete truth.

“On top of that, who’s to say I wouldn’t be in Slytherin.” Amaryllis said.

The boys all stopped laughing and just stared at her.

“You wouldn’t.” Peter told her. “You’re too nice.”

“You’re not nearly as slimy.” Sirius said.

“We actually like you.” James protested.

Amaryllis watched them. She now knew exactly how to push their buttons.

“Well then, maybe you should have me sorted.” Amaryllis said to them. “Just to see how wrong you actually are.”

All four of them looked at her realising she had just played them. She knew what she wanted and she knew how she could get it.

“You wouldn’t fit in with those blood purists.” Sirius said. “If my mother is anything to go off. The mere acceptance of anyone whose blood is less than pure results in her losing it.”

“You don’t know a thing about me Sirius.” Amaryllis said narrowing her green eyes at him.

Sirius’ grey ones met hers. It was a contest to see who would hold the glare the longest. It didn’t take long for Sirius to crack under Amaryllis’ glare. As he turned away in defeat she gave a small smirk.

These boys thought they knew her. They only knew the side of her she wanted them to know. If only they really knew what was underneath that there was no way they’d still want to be friends with her.


	2. Freaking Me Out

Amaryllis was getting rather sick of being stuck in the boys dorm. It hadn’t even been a full day but she felt as though she was being held captive and that was not a nice feeling at all.

James, Peter and Sirius had once again gone out leaving Amaryllis and Remus in the dorm. Remus who was obviously exhausted had attempted to hold conversation with her for a while but eventually gave in to his exhaustion and went to sleep.

This had left Amaryllis all alone in the dorm. As if captivity could get any worse.

As he was struggling to stay awake Remus had told Amaryllis that she was welcome to read any of his books while he slept. She had thanked him and once he was asleep she had grabbed one, sat down on Sirius’ bed and began reading.

The book she had grabbed had to be one of Remus’ textbooks as it contained a collection of spells as well as the instructions and uses for each of them. It was fascinating to read the book even though she knew there was no chance of her ever being able to do any of the spells.

She hadn’t read much of the book before James, Peter and Sirius burst back into the room.

“We brought something for you.” Sirius said holding out an old, dirty, fraying hat to her. “Was a struggle to get it but it’s worth it.”

“What did you do?” She said crossing her arms having already realised that these boys were nothing but trouble.

“You said you wanted to be sorted so we stole the Sorting Hat from Dumbledore’s office.” James told her rather proudly.

“There’s no way I’m putting that on my head.” Amaryllis told the boys.

“Come on Liz.” Sirius said as he waved the hat in front of her.

“Fine.” She said knowing there was no chance of her getting out of it.

She took the hat from Sirius sending a dirty look in his direction as she put it on her head. As soon as the hat touched her head she felt it move and heard a voice in her ear.

“What the hell.” She gasped.

The three boys watching her attempted to supress a laugh. They were all immediately silenced however by the glare that she sent them.

“Hmmm, strange mind you have.” The voice said in her ear. “A desire for knowledge, could do well Ravenclaw. But…not really a student here. Perhaps I’ll have to tell the headmaster.”

Amaryllis rolled her eyes at the hat’s words. She would speak to the headmaster herself. She didn’t need some rotten old hat doing it for her.

“Well, you’ve got a temper on you.” The hat said clearly acknowledging Amaryllis’ previous thoughts. “Perhaps a short temper like yours belongs Gryffindor. Wait. What’s this? You’re desire to know your family’s secrets. You longing to prove yourself to them. It seems as though the best place for you is SLYTHERIN.”

Amaryllis smirked at this knowing she had been completely right in the conversation she’d had earlier with the boys. As she looked over at the boys in front of her she saw all three of them with their jaws hanging open.

“What did I tell you?” She said to them.

“You…you’re…what?” James said trying to process what had just happened.

“Maybe I ought to leave you for some of those snakes you hate so much.” She told the boys as she got up from his bed handing him back the hat.

“Liz, wait.” Sirius called as she began to head to the door. “Tomorrow, I’ll take you.”

Amaryllis rolled her eyes but accepted it.

“And I suppose I had better speak to this headmaster.” She told the boys. “I imagine he has probably realised by now that his hat is missing. I also think he probably knows it was you two.”

“Tomorrow.” Sirius told her before grabbing a piece of the strange paper that she had learnt was parchment and began writing something.

Amaryllis looked over his shoulder as he wrote. It was addressed to someone named Regulus. She could only imagine that was someone in Slytherin that Sirius didn’t hate.

She sat down beside him as he wrote the letter knowing that this was probably going to be one of the last times she spent with these boys.

* * *

Hiding under James Potter’s invisibility cloak was not how she had imagined Sirius getting her to the room where she was meant to meet this Regulus person. The most irritating part of the journey was that Sirius found it alright for him to just walk ahead of her. It didn’t take them long to move through the castle to what appeared to be an empty classroom.

Amaryllis pulled the invisibility cloak off of herself and sat down at one of the old desks. She had, in her hands, the Sorting Hat which Sirius had gotten her to carry in order for its presence with them to remain a secret. She suspected that stealing the hat probably wasn’t the best thing the boys could have done but it seemed like trouble was the main thing that those four got up to.

“Liz, I’m sorry about this.” Sirius told her. “I’m sure Regulus will watch out for you. I’ll kill him if he doesn’t.”

Amaryllis watched Sirius as he paced across the room in anticipation. He was anxiously waiting for the other boy to enter. There was something about the way he was pacing and running through things in a hushed voice. It seemed as though there was some form of relationship between the two boys who were meeting. A relationship that he didn’t overly want people to know about.

It didn’t take long before the door to the classroom opened again and in walked a boy. He looked remarkably similar to Sirius, something Amaryllis noticed the moment she laid eyes on the new boy. He was, however, smaller and slighter than the boy she had come to know.

“What do you want Sirius?” The boy said not noticing Amaryllis who was sitting off to the side.

“A couple of nights ago James, Peter and I found a girl.” Sirius began to explained.

“If you’re here to boast about your latest conquest I’d rather not hear it.” The boy said. “I have much more important things to do.”

“Why does everyone think I’m Sirius’ latest sex toy?” Amaryllis sighed, getting up from the seat she had been sitting in and walking over to the two boys. “I had already worked out that you were bad Sirius. I didn’t realise it was so bad that the Slytherins were talking about it.”

Both boys looked at the girl who was now standing beside the two of them, her hands on her hips.

“Regulus, meet Amaryllis Merrin.” Sirius said not knowing what else to say to the girl. “Liz, this is Regulus, my little brother.”

Sirius’ comment earnt himself a glare from his brother. Amaryllis just smiled at the younger boy seeing the hatred at being referred to as Sirius’ younger brother.

“What do you need me for?” Regulus asked not truly understanding what his brother wanted from him.

“Well in an attempt to prove the discriminatory nature of the house system here, I told your brother that I should sorted to prove a point.” Amaryllis explained. “They, your brother and his idiotic friends, stole the Sorting Hat from the headmaster’s office in order to allow me to be sorted while remaining in their dorm.”

“She was sorted into Slytherin, Reg.” Sirius told his brother. “I can’t look after her if she’s going to be down in the dungeons.”

“I don’t need your protection.” Amaryllis snapped at Sirius.

“So Dumbledore doesn’t know anything about her?” Regulus asked.

“No, I was hoping you’d come with us to Dumbledore.” Sirius said quietly. “Just so he doesn’t call someone awful to take her to your common room.”

Regulus looked between Amaryllis and Sirius. He had to admit, Sirius seemed to care about this girl’s safety. The girl, on the hand, seemed strange. There seemed to be something off about her. Something that Sirius didn’t know. Regulus brushed his thoughts aside and decided to go along with whatever his brother was planning.

“Fine, I’ll come.” Regulus said.

With that they made their way towards the headmasters office. The two brothers had decided it better If they split up, making their way to the office individually, as to not arouse suspicion amongst the other students. Amaryllis went with Sirius, still hidden under the cloak with the sorting hat in her hand.

It didn’t take long for Sirius and Amaryllis to reach the gargoyle that she assumed was the entrance to the headmaster’s office. She was surprised at the fact that Sirius did not wait for his brother, he just said the password allowing the two of them to enter into the headmaster’s office telling Amaryllis she could remove the cloak as they stepped into the room.

The room was filled with many portraits, all moving. It was filled with many tables covered in many things that Amaryllis did not understand. There was an empty shelf which she believed was where the Sorting Hat usually sat. While Amaryllis was looking around the room in amazement Regulus appeared beside his brother and the strange girl.

“Now that we’re all here I believe some introductions are in order.” A voice said from behind the large chair at the desk.

The man who stood from the chair seemed almost frightening to Amaryllis. He was tall with long silvery hair and brilliant blue eyes that seemed to pierce into her. As she watched him look at her she felt a strange tugging on her mind that reminded her of when she was wearing the Sorting Hat.

Amaryllis focused all her energy into shutting down her mind to stop the sensation. The moment it stopped she noticed a strange expression spread across the old man’s face.

“Thank you for the Sorting Hat so quickly Mr Black, although your reasons for obtaining it from my office seemed less than honourable.” The man told Sirius.

“It was on my request that Sirius took the Sorting Hat from your office sir.” Amaryllis said presenting the hat back to the old man.

“Ah, thank you.” The man said to her as he took the hat off her and placed it onto the empty self that she had noticed earlier. “It is lovely to meet you. I am Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster here at Hogwarts.”

“My name is Amaryllis Merrin.” She said with a smile knowing that she needed to be polite to him.

“If you wouldn’t mind my asking, how is it you came to Hogwarts?” Dumbledore said to the girl.

“I’m not exactly sure sir.” Amaryllis answered. “I had gone out for a night time stroll in the woods out the back of my family property when I heard something. I was unsure as to what it was so I began running in hopes that I could go far enough into the trees to loop around and come out again. However, while I was running the woods around me shifted and I found myself in the woods on your school’s grounds.”

“Very interesting.” Dumbledore said to her. “Now, to more important matters. I am under the assumption that you have already been sorted.”

This earnt him a nod from Amaryllis who knew better than to speak.

“And seeing as the hat did in fact sort you I would like to invite you to study here at Hogwarts.” Dumbledore said. “I will allow you and Mr Black to travel to Diagon Alley in order to fetch all the require items to study here. What house was it that you were sorted into?”

“Slytherin.” Amaryllis answered.

“Ah, that explains why Mr Black brought his brother.” Dumbledore said as he looked between the two brothers. “An extra bed will be added to the dorms and you will take private classes with all the professors in order to help to obtain the required level of study to allow you to progress as normal at the commencement of the next school year.”

Amaryllis nodded slowly trying to understand what was going on.

“Miss Merrin, may I ask your date of birth.” Dumbledore said. “In order to inform the professors of what curriculum to teach you.”

“April 4th, 1961.” She said.

“Thank you.” Dumbledore said. “Mr Black, Sirius, you may return to your friends and inform them of Miss Merrin’s safety. While Miss Merrin and Regulus have a trip to Diagon Alley to attend.”

Amaryllis’ eyes widened. She hadn’t expected him to send her off with Regulus. She thought she’d be going with Sirius when he had said Mr Black. Although it made sense why she was going with Regulus. They were, after all, both in the same house.

###  Adjusting to Hogwarts – 399

Life was hard enough without being thrown from one world into another. It was hard enough without your whole life being flipped upside down. But Amaryllis supposed that maybe this was how her life was always meant to go.

Perhaps life was never meant to be easy. Perhaps life was meant to be shoving four years’ worth of learning into one month.

If anything was worse than this she didn’t know what. Honestly how was she expected to retain all this knowledge when she was learning a year of education in a week. Especially with weekends being when she was tested on all she’d learnt in the past week.

On top of that she had to deal with the strange looks from her dorm mates. They hated her, that much was clear.

Marianne Sallow was the biggest problem for Amaryllis in the dorm. Marianne did not like her. There was no two ways about it. The only time the two ever interacted was when Marianne wanted information about Regulus. After all what else was Amaryllis good for.

After Marianne the next biggest problem was Scarlett Gastrell. She seemed to be Marianne’s second in command. Which, for obvious reasons, sparked problems for Amaryllis. Scarlett found any excuse to ask about Regulus, even more so than Marianne.

The least irritating of the dorm, although not exactly nice to Amaryllis, was Madelyn Pussett. She would send Amaryllis smiles when the other girls weren’t looking. Although that was far as her kindness. While she wouldn’t pester Amaryllis for information about Regulus or any of the other pureblood boys she certainly wouldn’t stop anyone else for doing it.

That’s why Amaryllis avoided her dorm at all costs. Not that it really mattered. She spent most of her time with the teachers doing her private classes. She would occasionally spend time in the common room with Regulus and his friends. The problem with her doing such intensive study with the teachers meant that she was always completely exhausted meaning she nearly always fell straight asleep when she got to her dorm.

That was really all her life was for those last few weeks of term. While all the students spent their time finishing exams and celebrating Amaryllis was stuck in classrooms cramming her brain until it felt like it would explode. But she thought that that was just how her life was meant to go.


	3. Half God Half Devil

Amaryllis was half asleep as she leaned against the wall of the compartment she was in on the Hogwarts express heading to London. She had no idea as to why she had been told to go home as a normal student seeing as she didn’t have a home to go to.

She groaned as the train jolted once more causing her head to bang against the wall again.

“You’re going to give yourself a headache if you continue sitting like that.” Regulus told her.

“I don’t really care if I’m completely honest.” Amaryllis responded. “I’m completely exhausted.”

“I suppose one would be after having four years’ worth of magic education shoved into one month.” One of the other boys in the compartment said.

Amaryllis glare met the cold brown eyes of the boy who sat across from her. The boy was friends with Regulus so there was really nothing she could do about it. Regulus had kept his promise to his brother and kept a close eye on Amaryllis when she wasn’t in classes. This meant she had to deal with friends, none of whom liked her very much.

“Shut it Mulciber.” She snapped at Timothy Mulciber as she closed her eyes once more.

“I still don’t see why didn’t sleep in your dorm.” The other boy in the compartment said.

Amaryllis had no idea why he was still with them. He had clearly shown his dislike for the girl.

“Because, Wilkes, all those girls every do is pester for information about this idiot.” She said sitting up, looking directly at Corbin Wilkes and indicating to Regulus who sat beside her. “I’m glad I can finally escape them, even if it’s only for a few months.”

Amaryllis gave up trying to sleep at this point. She was now too angry to think of sleep.

“You’re pushing it Merrin.” Timothy said to her.

“Go curse another one of those stupid Gryffindors.” Amaryllis snapped at him.

She had heard about what had happened with Timothy and Mary MacDonald soon after she had arrived. Although she didn’t understand why it had happened she had accepted it as these were the people she was going to be with for the rest of her time at Hogwarts.

“I think you forget Merrin, you were once friends with the worst of the Gryffindors.” Corbin countered wanting to defend Timothy.

“Because I didn’t know any better that point.” She said sending a glare in his direction. “Those idiots were the ones that found me. Thank Salazar they let me go when they did. I think my brain would have turned to mush if I was around them too much longer.”

Regulus shot Amaryllis a look reminding her to lay off. He knew she was just trying to fit in but the way she had started speaking Regulus was no longer sure whether what she said was true or not.

“Amaryllis, where exactly are you going?” Regulus asked her wanting to stop her arguments before the three of them started hexing one another.

“No idea.” Amaryllis responded. “For some reason they thought it a good idea to put me on this train without telling me where I was going.”

The three boys all looked at her.

“Don’t look at me.” Timothy said. “I can’t stand her.”

“If you think I’m doing anything to help her you’re sadly mistaken.” Corbin said.

Regulus let out a sigh.

“We can see what my mother says.” He said after a moment. “Although I doubt she’ll be pleased. Be glad I wrote her mentioning you soon after you joined us.”

Amaryllis nodded not knowing how else to respond.

* * *

As they stepped off the train Regulus smiled at Amaryllis before locking his gaze onto his mother. Amaryllis followed Regulus’ gaze. She saw a woman standing there, her nose turned up and scowling at all the other people around her.

“That’s your mother.” Amaryllis whispered a shiver going down her spine as she looked at the woman who had sent her scowl in Amaryllis’ direction.

“Don’t worry.” Regulus said sending her another smile.

Amaryllis stood up as straight as she could and followed after Regulus as he began walking over to his mother.

“Regulus.” Walburga greeted as the two of them met her.

“Mother.” Regulus responded. “This is Amaryllis Merrin. She has just moved her from Australia and needs a place to stay.”

Walburga narrowed her eyes at the girl. Amaryllis knew what she was trying to do. She had seen it many times before with people who believed themselves to be above her.

“Please Madam Black.” Amaryllis said. “I shall explain my story once we are no longer in the presence of all these people. I wouldn’t want to go giving any of them ideas.”

Walburga looked at the girl in front of her not sure how to react to her.

“Very well then.” Walburga said to the girl. “You shall tell me your story when we arrive home. Grab hold.”

Without thinking Amaryllis took hold Walburga’s hand at the same time as Regulus and the three of them apparated back to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Sit.” Walburga told the girl.

Amaryllis knew not to argue with the woman as her imposing figure was rather frightening and reminded her far too much of her grandmother. She knew there had always been something off with her grandmother. Perhaps her grandmother had been a pureblood witch the same as Walburga Black.

“My name is Amaryllis Seraphina Merrin.” Amaryllis began to explain. “I must start this story off by saying that the wizarding world in Australia is rather different to that of Britain. We don’t have any wizarding government. There are some witches and wizards in the muggle government but not enough to make any difference. Because of that there is no wizarding school or anything like that and due to our isolated location it is too difficult for us to travel to any of the others. So we basically live as muggles.”

Walburga pursed her lips at Amaryllis’ story still not having heard the one piece of information she was searching for.

“The adults know one another in a sense.” Amaryllis continued. “They have monthly gatherings of all the purebloods and halfbloods. We do not invite the muggleborns as they would have no training with magic at all as it is our parents who teach us. The thing with these gatherings was that they were only open to those over sixteen therefore I hadn’t been to one as of yet so I wasn’t acquainted with anyone else.”

Regulus rolled his eyes at Amaryllis’ story. His knowledge of her family and past was not very vast however none of what she was telling his mother he had heard her mention before.

“The exclusion of the muggleborns caused the wizarding community to be small however I know that they were all rather close with one another.” Amaryllis continued spinning her tale. “However due to their exclusion there was an uprising of the muggleborns. They believed that they should also be allowed to be involved with magic and that we, the purebloods and halfbloods, should train them. They found out about one of the gatherings. They went there and using muggle weapons, for they were unable to use their magic as they had no control over it, they killed almost everyone who was there.”

“You poor girl.” Walburga said as she watched Amaryllis.

It was clear to Regulus that Amaryllis was a wonderful actress. The fake tears that she was beginning shed were so convincing he almost started to think that her tale could possibly be true.

“I lost both my parents and some of my best friends that day.” Amaryllis said in a much quieter voice. “I knew the only way I would be safe would be to come here as I knew the wizarding world was much better over here. I knew that purebloods like myself were well respected.”

“You are welcomed to stay here as long as you need.” Walburga said standing up. “A good pureblood girl such ass yourself should not be made to live in a country where mudbloods rule.”

“Thank you Madam Black.” Amaryllis said wiping the fake tears from her eyes, a soft smile coming across her face.

Walburga nodded before heading out of the room. As soon as his mother was out of the room Regulus turned to Amaryllis. The girl had a smirk on her face and had wiped away the remaining of her fake tears.

“You’re good.” Regulus said.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Amaryllis said as she looked at Regulus.

“No one has ever been able to trick my mother like that.” He explained.

“Well if I want to survive what other choice do I have?” She responded.

Regulus looked her over. She appeared to have changed so much since he had first met her.

“So, you’re a pureblood then.” Regulus said.

“I’ll have your mother believe that.” Amaryllis responded. “All I truly know is that was some big secret in my family that they were going to tell me when I was 16. Based on what I now know I think it’s safe to say that I’m either a pureblood or a halfblood.”

“Mother would not be happy if it was the latter.” He said with a laugh.

“Which is exactly why I told her I was a pureblood.” She laughed. “Your brother explained your mother’s way of thinking. Scarily enough, she reminds me all too much of my grandmother.”

“Perhaps once we’re done at Hogwarts we should pay her a visit and get some of those answers you want.” He suggested.

“I’ll hold you to that, Black.” Amaryllis smirked.

“I wouldn’t dream of retracting that promise, Merrin.” Regulus smiled.

The two of them talked about the classes that Amaryllis had taken at her time at Hogwarts until Walburga had come back to fetch her.

* * *

It wasn’t long after Walburga had whisked Amaryllis off that Sirius arrived at the house. It was only then that Amaryllis realised the reason behind Sirius’ prejudice against Slytherins and his family.

“Thanks for the help.” Sirius yelled as he dragged his trunk up the stairs to his room.

Amaryllis’ eyebrows raised when she heard Sirius’ voice. She hadn’t expected him to be here after they had left the station without him.

Walburga shot up and left the room when the sound of Sirius’ voice reverberated through the house. Amaryllis wasn’t certain as to what was going to happen. She stayed seated no wanting to cause any trouble however as she heard Walburga scream at Sirius she closed her eyes in fear of what might happen to her.

“You get used to it.” Regulus said as he appeared beside Amaryllis.

“This is normal?” She asked in shock.

“Just be glad she doesn’t have her want.” He said as he pointed at the wand on the table beside them.

“You mean to say she could curse him?” She said completely astounded by what Regulus was telling her.

“It’s a regular occurrence.” He admitted. “Don’t worry though. Sirius doesn’t stick around for long. He never does. He spends less and less time here each year.”

“Where does he go?” Amaryllis asked wondering what someone as young as Sirius was going to do all alone.

“Potter’s, I think.” Regulus admitted. “He never tells us but that makes the most sense.”

Amaryllis nodded as they heard the shouting stop. Regulus gave her a quick smile before rushing out the room before his mother could get there. As soon as Regulus dashed off Amaryllis readjusted herself so she was sitting as straight as she had been before Walburga had left.

“Miss Merrin, I have some family issues to sort out right now.” Walburga said as she re-entered the room. “We shall continue this tomorrow. Kreacher will show you to your room.”

Amaryllis nodded before standing up not knowing who Kreacher was. She stepped around Walburga and out of the room where she was met with a small creature. The creature was smaller than herself. The creature looked rather old as if one touch would push it over.

Amaryllis let out a small squeal of surprise upon seeing it. She wasn’t sure what it was but it didn’t look all too friendly.

“Kreacher has been told to take Miss Amaryllis her room.” The creature which Amaryllis assumed must be Kreacher said.

It was then that she heard footsteps on the stairs in front of her.

“What’s going on…” Sirius began to ask as he walked down the stairs only to see Amaryllis. “Liz? What are you doing here?”

“Regulus brought me here.” Amaryllis admitted.

There was a sound from the room she had seen Regulus rush into earlier when he heard the argument between his mother and brother finish.

“Amaryllis, are you alright?” Regulus said as he too came in to see what had made Amaryllis squeal.

“I’m fine.” She said ignoring the glares that the two brothers were sharing. “Now could someone please explain to me what this is and why it knows who I am?”

The two brothers looked at each other before starting to speak at the same time. Amaryllis shot Sirius a glare which quieted him.

“This is Kreacher.” Regulus explained. “He’s my family’s house elf.”

“A what?” She asked. “Actually, explain it to me later Regulus. As you know I’m rather exhausted and I would much prefer to get some sleep right now.”

Regulus nodded and decided that it would probably be easier for her if he showed her to her room. Sirius sent Regulus a glare as he placed his hand on Amaryllis’ shoulder and led to the room Walburga had had Kreacher prepare for her.

“Thank you.” Amaryllis said him as they reached her room.

“It’s no problem.” Regulus said. “My room is just around the hall. If you need anything just knock.”

She smiled at him and thanked him again before walking into her room. She didn’t take the chance to examine the room as she quickly changed into her night clothes and jumped into the bed falling asleep straight away.

* * *

Amaryllis was spending the summer taking lessons from Walburga Black as to how to be the perfect British pureblood girl.

One requirement Walburga had set in place was that Amaryllis and Regulus were no longer allowed to be left alone. At first Amaryllis had protested this not understanding why they couldn’t be alone. The way she had lived before she had spent time alone with boys all the time.

She had quickly realised that all this was so she could be viewed as pure when she was eventually married off to some pureblood boy.

She ended up having spent most of her time with Walburga learning how to present herself and act in the presence of different people. Spending all her time with Walburga has meant that Amaryllis was subjected to answering more questions about herself.

Amaryllis’ favourite instance of this was regarding her name.

“Merrin is not a pureblood name.” Walburga had questioned her one day.

“It may not be in England, Madam Black, but I can assure you that in Australia it is.” Amaryllis lied with a smile. “You do know how Australia was colonised?”

“I am not familiar with muggle history.” Walburga said scathingly.

“Well it much regards the magic community in some sense.” Amaryllis explained. “Although not enough that people in England should be required to learn it. The east of Australia was settled in 1788. From there Great Britain used the country as a place to send all their convicts. Some of which, I must assume, were witches and wizards.”

“Where did your name come from then if your family originated in Britain?” Walburga asked starting to question how factual Amaryllis’ story was.

“Many people changed their names upon arrival to Australia in order to separate themselves from who they were in Britain.” Amaryllis explained she had formulated an answer for anything Walburga could throw at her.

Amaryllis had known that she would be asked about this at some point and her story and explanation had to be solid.

Regulus attempted to listen in on all conversations between Amaryllis and his mother. He knew she would eventually slip up in one of her stories and he wanted to confront about it if she did. The problem was that everything she said seemed to make sense.

As the summer drew on he had slowly become irritated by both the females. He knew now that his mother was teaching her how to be a pureblood the chances of him getting a chance to speak to her alone was becoming more and more slim.

All he wanted was a chance to speak to Amaryllis about her past in hopes of catching her in a lie. It still amazed him how she was able to lie with every breath and not get caught.

The hardest day for both teenagers was the day that Walburga had blasted Sirius off the family tapestry. Amaryllis had learnt about the tapestry as one of her first sessions with Walburga. Looking over the tapestry and seeing all the scorch marks made her realise just what kind of crazy family she was getting herself into.


	4. Torn

Due to the separation that Walburga had put in place between Amaryllis and Regulus, the first time they were able to talk without her watchful eye on them was once they were alone in a compartment waiting for Timothy and Corbin to join them.

“You do know you don’t have to keep acting like that.” Regulus said noticing that she hadn’t yet shifted from the way she had carried herself when in front of his mother.

“Acting like what?” Amaryllis asked.

“Like the perfect pureblood heiress that we both know you aren’t.” Regulus said.

“In order to keep up appearances I must keep acting like this.” Amaryllis said not looking directly at Regulus but peering out of the window of the train. “If your mother ever found out I’d strayed from what she spent months teaching me she might kick me out. I have nowhere else to go Reg.”

“Amy, you can’t do this to yourself.” Regulus told her.

“Don’t let you mother hear you call me that.” She responded.

“Don’t change yourself just so you fit in.” He tried to convince her.

“Like you did?” She said dropping the act. “I know you never wanted to be the heir to the Black family.”

“You don’t know anything.” He said.

“I know more than you think.” She responded.

The sound of the compartment door opening stopped the conversation instantly. Amaryllis quickly returned to the act she had previously been displaying causing Regulus to sigh.

“What happened to Merrin?” Timothy asked Regulus as he stepped into the compartment.

Regulus, realising that neither Timothy nor Corbin would want to sit by Amaryllis, got up from his seat and moved over to sit next to Amaryllis.

“My mother happened.” Regulus sighed. “Amy here is quiet good at twisting stories so as far as my mother is concern Amaryllis Seraphina Merrin is the last pureblooded witch from her town.”

“Is your mother daft?” Timothy asked confused by the girl.

“She must be if she believes Amy’s web of lies.” Regulus said.

Amaryllis glared at the two boys who were talking about her. She was right there. The least they could do was address her. Although, Amaryllis assumed it was possibly another one of the stupid pureblood traditions that they had. Never speak to the girl, just about her.

At that moment Corbin opened the door and joined them in the compartment.

“Merrin?” Corbin asked when he noticed Amaryllis. “What happened to you?”

“Walburga Black happened.” She said with an eye roll before Regulus could cut in. “I swear that woman is plotting something.”

“Don’t disrespect my mother, Merrin.” Regulus told her jokingly.

“I was just stating facts, Black.” She smirked.

The two of them, having been around one another all summer, had become a lot more comfortable in each other’s presence. This allowed them to snap at each other in a joking manner without the other getting mad. It was strange for the other boys in the compartment as neither of them had seen dialogue such as that between two people. it just didn’t happen in their families.

“Anyway, I’m going to get changed.” She said as she picked up the small bag she had by her feet. “You idiots better be dressed when I get back.”

They all nodded at her as she stood up and left the compartment. None of them wanted to mess now that she was becoming a younger version of Walburga Black.

It didn’t take long for her to reach the toilets. After changing into her uniform Amaryllis let out a sigh. This was a lot more comfortable than anything she’d been told to wear over the summer. All those outfits had been terribly uncomfortable with their stiff fabrics that covered everything in ridiculous layers. Although she had to admit they did make her look good.

As Amaryllis made her way back through the train she was able to get her first good look all the students. Due to her looking at everyone else she didn’t notice who was walking in the opposite direction to her causing them to bump into one another.

“Watch where you’re going would you.” She snapped without even looking at the person.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going.” The person retorted before looking down at her. “Liz, is that you?”

The summer had changed Amaryllis in more ways than just her actions. Her chocolate brown curls which had been a complete mess before the holidays were now beautifully contained looking neater than she had ever had them look. Her green eyes which had previously been wide and full of curiosity were now hard as she stared at those around her through a narrowed gaze.

“Oh, it’s you.” She said noticing the grey eyes of the boy standing in front of her.

“What happened to you Liz?” Sirius asked her.

“Your mother.” Amaryllis sighed.

“So you stayed then?” Sirius asked.

“Obviously.” Amaryllis said rolling her eyes. “I seem to be your replacement. You know, since you so recklessly ran away from such a lovely home.”

“She’s destroying who you are.” He said.

“You don’t know anything.” She snapped.

“Just be careful.” Sirius told her.

She just glared at him before pushing past him and continuing back to her compartment. How dare he try to change her opinions. He had no idea what she was really thinking. He had no idea what she wanted in her life.

“What’s got you so angry?” Corbin said as Amaryllis sat back down in her seat.

“Black.” She stated crossing her arms across her chest.

Both Corbin and Timothy looked at Regulus.

“What did I do?” Regulus asked confused.

“You’re a bloody imbecile if think I’m referring to you.” Amaryllis said. “Which member of your ridiculous family do you think would make me like this?”

“Sirius.” Regulus said through gritted teeth.

Regulus looked as though he was about to go and kill his brother. Amaryllis placed a hand over his. Corbin and Timothy looked between the two confused by Amaryllis’ gesture.

“Don’t.” Amaryllis said softly. “You know that’s what he wants.”

Regulus just glared at Amaryllis knowing that she was right. She pulled her hand away from his and looked back over at the boys who were facing her across the compartment.

“I suppose I should start being nicer to you.” She said to them. “If I ever want to live up to Walburga’s expectations of me.”

“You, nice?” Corbin asked looking at Amaryllis. “I didn’t think that was possible.”

“You do realise you only see the side of me that I want you to see.” She said with a smirk knowing there was no reason for them to believe her.

Regulus rolled his eyes knowing that Amaryllis was going to spend the rest of the train ride arguing with their friends because none of them were the kind to give up on their perception of things. He pulled a book out of his trunk and began reading in hopes of drowning out the arguing of his friends with his thoughts.

* * *

It was only once they were in the carriages that appeared to move by themselves that Amaryllis realised that this year was going to be rather different to the time she had previously spent at the school.

She was going to be taking proper classes with other students for starters. That alone was enough to frighten her. It gave her something to worry about.

What were other people going to think about her pathetic ability to perform magic?

Amaryllis watched the landscape go by out the window of the carriage. She didn’t want to talk to anyone as she was too busy worrying about what was going to happen when she randomly appeared in classes. She had told Dumbledore that she did not want him announcing to the students that she would be joining classes but she knew that there was no way she could trust the old man.

When they arrived at the Great Hall the four of them sat down together Amaryllis and Regulus on one side facing Corbin and Timothy. None of them listened as Dumbledore spoke to the students. None of them really cared what the old man had to say.

Once the food arrived in front of them they all gracefully began serving themselves food, however Amaryllis discovered that because of the stupid pureblood traditions she was no longer allowed to serve herself food. This mean she had to sit there helplessly while Regulus placed food on her plate.

She shot him a glare once he was finished and the four of them sat quietly and ate. Regulus knew better than to say anything to Amaryllis as she was unimpressed by him serving her food. It hadn’t take long for him to realise that if she wanted to, she could do a great deal to hurt him. An angry Amaryllis was not something he wanted to deal with.

Once the meal was done the small group walked back to their common room together. As they were walking Amaryllis grabbed a hold of Regulus’ arm and dragged him out from the crowds into a deserted corridor.

“Amy, what are you doing?” He asked her once she’d let go of his arm.

“What am I doing?” She screeched having placed the best silencing charm she could on the corridor. “What are you doing, Regulus? I’m not an invalid. I don’t need someone serving my food for me. I can do it myself.”

“Mother told me I should.” He told her.

“Oh yes, do everything mummy wants.” She said her voice laced with sarcasm. “Your mother is not here. You don’t have to follow her stupid requests. She isn’t going to know if don’t serve my food for me.”

“Well you seem so hellbent on following my mother’s requests.” He said indicating to the way she was carrying herself.

“I just don’t want someone telling your mother that I’m acting like a muggleborn and she kicks me out.” She said with a sigh. “I have nowhere else to go. I just need to accept what she says and deal with it while I live under her roof.”

“You do know that my father has more control over who stays in our house than my mother does.” He explained to her.

“When does your father think for himself?” Amaryllis asked. “The entire summer he followed everything your mother said. He was also strangely absent for most of the time only appearing for meals.”

“Shut up.” He said as he turned to walk off.

“You can’t just walk away from this Regulus.” She said. “You know it’s all true.”

“I’m going back to the common room.” He said stopping and turning to look at her. “Are you coming or not?”

Amaryllis just sighed and walked over to him. He knew that she wasn’t going to say anything else. That conversation alone was enough to keep them from talking for at least a day.

* * *

The following day Amaryllis sat on a chair in the corner of the common room reading one of Regulus’ old textbooks that he’d given her over the summer. She hoped that by reading through the old textbooks she’d be able to solidify her knowledge of the concepts that had been covered in previous years. The textbook also provided her with a much more in depth explanation of the things that had been deemed unnecessary when she had done her intensive classes the previous year.

She enjoyed reading through Regulus’ textbooks as he had a habit of scribbling notes in the margin and around any diagrams. These notes were written in what she believed was the most beautiful handwriting she’d ever seen. It was nothing like the mess of letters that her writing was. She could only wish that her writing was a beautiful as his.

Amaryllis was hoping that by sitting alone in the corner everyone else in the common room would ignore her. Unfortunately for her this wasn’t the case. There was one girl in the common room who, for some unknown reason, kept glancing her way.

As she attempted to keep reading she could no longer focus. Instead of reading the words that Regulus had written she was admiring the shape of the letters. Her mind was racing wondering who this girl watching her was and why she was being watched at all.

As Amaryllis looked back down at the words on the page in front of her she felt a presence slowly get closer to her. She didn’t look up from the book until a shadow blocked the light from reaching the book on her lap.

“Are you attempting to get ahead in the work for this year?” The girl said as she looked over the top of the book.

“No.” Amaryllis responded sharply as she slammed the book shut not wanting this girl to see all of Regulus’ notes.

Amaryllis did not like nosey people and she felt as though this girl in front of her was being particularly nosey. She had no business trying to see what Amaryllis was doing.

“Then why were you reading that textbook?” She asked as she sat down on the seat beside Amaryllis.

“I’m reviewing the content from previous years.” Amaryllis responded as she looked at the girl for the first time.

The girl in front of her had straight chestnut brown hair which would have hung just past her shoulders if it had been left out. Instead her hair was pulled back and out of her face making her soft blue eyes stand out even more against her face.

“I’m Amaryllis Merrin.” Amaryllis said putting out her hand for the other girl to shake.

“Lucinda Talkalot.” The girl said as she took Amaryllis’ hand. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

“I first came here in May last year.” Amaryllis said.

“Oh, you’re that girl.” Lucinda responded.

“I suppose I am.” Amaryllis responded looking sceptically at the girl next to her.

“I’ve seen you with Black, Mulciber and Wilkes.” Lucinda said.

“Well Regulus is really the only friend I have so I have no choice but to stay with those three.” Amaryllis admitted although not knowing why.

Lucinda just nodded at Amaryllis. The two just sat there, Amaryllis reopening her book and continuing to read while Lucinda also pulled a book out of her bag and joined her. Together the two spend the rest of the day reading before heading down to dinner together.

Amaryllis was glad to have someone else to sit with during the meal. It meant that Regulus couldn’t serve her meal for her and therefore decided what she was going to eat.

Although he generally had good taste there were some things she just couldn’t stand. Like chicken. And Regulus seem convinced that she wanted it. The problem with that she was expected to eat everything on her plate causing Regulus to think she enjoy the chicken. There was no way she was confronting him about it. That would make it seem like she was accepting him serving her food. And she was never going to accept that.

The two girls spent the meal talking. Amaryllis found it nice to have another girl her own age to talk to. Especially since she’d spent all the time since she’d arrived here with boys or Walburga. And Walburga was not the kind of woman you just had a chat with.


	5. new way

It had taken a few days but Regulus had eventually gotten Amaryllis to forgive him for acting as his mother wished. He had promised to consult her before he would follow his mother’s actions again. Amaryllis had agreed to this knowing that he was just doing what he was told. He couldn’t be held entirely accountable for what his mother wanted. He was only being a good child.

“I don’t see how you don’t understand this.” Regulus told Amaryllis they studied together in the library. “It’s some of the most basic magic.”

“You seem to forget that it has been less than a year since I was first introduced to magic.” She said to him rolling her eyes as she slammed her Charms textbook shut. “I am going to fail all my classes and your mother is going to kick me out and I’ll have nowhere left to go as it would be near impossible for me to get back home to my parents, if they still wanted me that is.”

“Amy you’re over reacting.” He told her as he too closed his textbook, however much more carefully than she had. “It’s not that bad.”

“No, the subjects that remind me of things I’ve done before are not that bad.” She said as she stood up in an attempt to appear more intimidating. “Spell casting is hard.”

As she looked down on Regulus he smiled up at her.

“You have been surrounded by magic since birth.” Amaryllis began to rant.

Regulus knew this rant by now. It was nearly daily that she gave it to him. She thought it could be the excuse for why she was doing so poorly in her subjects.

“You have been practicing magic since you were 11.” She continued. “I, on the other hand, have just…”

“Been told about this world and given the chance to experience it.” He finished with a sigh. “Amy you really need to calm down. I can’t help you if you are going to freak out on me every day. We’ve been here not even two weeks yet.”

Amaryllis sat back down and looked at the book in front of her. She felt bad. She knew that Regulus was only trying to help her. She just couldn’t seem to grasp the concepts she needed.

“Why don’t we finish our History of Magic essays then we can move back on to Charms?” He said to her.

Amaryllis nodded. She knew that working on History of Magic would help calm her down. She loved history more than she could put into words. She could remember spending all her time researching facts about the history of all sorts of places. She found learning about the past comforting.

With that the two of them set to work occasionally getting up from their seats to go find another book for the two of them to share. They enjoyed working like this as it was one of the few times they were able to sit together.

They knew the library was a safe space for them to sit alone as if Walburga found out about it she couldn’t say anything about them being alone as the library was full of students. This meant, with the help of a silencing charm, they could have whatever conversation they wanted without anyone making any comments.

After half an hour Amaryllis sat back in her seat and let out a sigh. She had finished her essay. She was both happy and annoyed. On one hand she was glad the essay was done but on the other hand she knew this meant she had to work on Charms again.

“How are you already finished?” Regulus asked looking up from his essay knowing exactly what Amaryllis was thinking.

“I love history.” She said. “The work is a lot easier to do when you enjoy what you’re doing.”

“Of course you would say that.” He responded.

“It’s true.” She said. “That is the reason I don’t enjoy the subjects that require spell casting. I don’t enjoy it therefore I am not good at it. And that translates to me not enjoying it. It’s a vicious cycle which ends in me failing.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” He responded.

Amaryllis shot him a glare. She knew that he wasn’t going to understand what she was saying. Their lives were so different. It was no wonder they didn’t have the same beliefs about things such as this.

“If you help me finish this we can move on to Charms quicker.” He said.

“Who said I wanted to work on Charms.” She responded as she picked up one of the books off the table.

“Amy.” He said warning her to listen to him.

“Okay, fine.” She said putting the book down and moving over to sit next to him so she could read what he had already written while she continued writing.

As she looked at the words while he continued writing she smiled. The work was beautifully written. There was not many mistakes in what he had written so far he was just taking longer to find the information than she had.

When she reached the section he was up to she stopped reading and just focused on his hand moving across the page crafting his perfectly formed letters.

“You’re not doing anything wrong.” Amaryllis told him after watching him write for a short while. “Your response is just a lot more drawn out than it needs to be. If your answers are more succinct you’ll be able to get through it quicker.”

Regulus looked up at her. He was a little confused.

“How am I supposed to reach the expected length if I’m not writing as much on each area?” He asked her.

“By being more direct with your responses you’re able to include more information which will earn you a higher mark.” She explained.

It really was rather simple. Amaryllis knew how to write essays like this. It was something she was used to. She knew exactly how to make her answers meet what the teachers wanted them to be.

“If you look here you’ll see that you repeat yourself a few times.” She said indicating to a section of his essay. “If you read over it you can cut out some of that. Do that with each section. Find where you are repeating yourself and cut it down.”

Regulus just stared at her. He hadn’t expected her to be like this.

“What else do I write about then?” He asked her.

“Here, read mine and see.” She said with a sigh handing her essay to him.

He handed her his essay and she began to mark all the sections where he had repeated himself in order to make it easier for him to go back and edit it.

Amaryllis was glad he had asked her for help with his essay. It meant she could prolong doing her Charms work allowing her some more time to prepare mentally for her own failure.

* * *

Amaryllis’ face as she sat in the Quidditch stands beside Corbin was not one of joy. They had been at Hogwarts for just over two months now and everyone had just started to settle into the routine once again.

It had been a couple of months since they had arrived back at Hogwarts and she had been convinced by those around her that she was expected to watch the Quidditch matches that Slytherin was involved in.

That was how she had ended up unimpressed in the Quidditch stands on the day of Slytherin’s first match of the year. She was here to support her friends and that was exactly what she planned to do.

Lucinda had been rather unimpressed when Amaryllis had said she’d never been to a Quidditch game before. Being the captain of the Slytherin team, Lucinda had made it her duty to get Amaryllis to a game.

Timothy was on the team as well. Although she wasn’t that close to him she knew she should try to be nicer to him as he was one of Regulus’ friends.

On top of that Regulus was now on the team. He had told her how exciting the game was to watch and how much he had hoped he would be able to get onto the team. With him on the team as well she knew there was no way she could protest going to the game.

After having the game explained to her, something that had messed with her mind more than anything that had ever been explained to her before, she thought that maybe she might know what was going on. She could only hope that Corbin would be able to help her understand what her friends were doing.

Amaryllis watched as 14 people walked onto the pitch. Half were in green while the other half were in red. The separating between the two groups was clear. None of them were interacting with one another.

“Wilkes.” Amaryllis said turning to the boy next to her. “How long will this go for?”

“As long as it takes Regulus to catch the Snitch.” Corbin responded.

“Thanks Corbin.” She said using his first name for the first time.

He turned and looked at her surprised with what she’d said. Up until this point Corbin Wilkes had believed that Amaryllis Merrin was cold hearted and manipulative. He had never realised she could be nice.

“No problem Amaryllis.” He responded after a minute.

Amaryllis smiled to herself. She wanted to be friends with Corbin and Timothy. It would make any time she spent with Regulus’ group a lot easier.

* * *

The entire game had confused Amaryllis. She had had no idea what was happening at any point during the game. Even after Corbin had relaxed and began pointing things out and explaining things she was still ridiculously confused by the game.

Regulus hadn’t managed to catch the tiny golden ball called the Snitch. He had seemed rather annoyed at that fact having stormed off the pitch without saying anything to anyone. Once they had returned to the common Amaryllis attempted to find him but so matter how hard she had tried she could not find him.

“Mulciber.” Amaryllis called having seen Timothy enter the common room however he didn’t hear her. “Timothy.” She called louder in hopes of catching his attention.

Hearing the sound of Amaryllis calling him Timothy turned to face her.

“What do you want Merrin?” He asked not understanding why she was talking to him without Regulus present.

“Well firstly, well done out there.” She said. “You very nearly got Potter. That would have been glorious.”

She recalled when he had hit one of the strange magic balls that had flown around like mad, she was pretty sure Corbin had called them Bludgers, towards James Potter. It would have hit him had Sirius not been there to save his ass.

“Thank you.” He said rather shocked at what she was saying as he two hadn’t realised that she could be nice.

“I also wanted to ask where Regulus was.” She said. “I haven’t seen him come back here.”

“Ah, so the truth comes out.” He said having known her conversation with him most likely had something to do with Regulus. “He probably went to the Astronomy Tower. He goes there to think sometimes. Don’t tell we know though. He thinks it’s a secret.”

Amaryllis let out a little chuckle at his words.

“Thank you.” She said. “And really, well done today.”

He smiled at her as she made her way out of the common room towards the Astronomy Tower in hopes of finding Regulus.

* * *

Amaryllis climbed up the steps to the Astronomy Tower as quietly as she could. She had been checking every floor as she got there in hopes of finding Regulus but so far she was just met with empty rooms. When she eventually reached the top she found him lying on the ground looking up and the orange sky.

“That can’t be comfortable.” She said to him and left the safety of the steps.

Regulus sat up and turned to look as he heard her voice.

“How did you find me?” He asked.

“That’s my secret.” She said smiling as she sat down facing him. “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright.” He said looking down.

“Liar.” She said with a small laugh. “You wouldn’t be wrecking your back by lying up here if you were.”

“Perhaps I just like watching the sunset.” He said.

“Perhaps you’re not feeling the best and you just wanted to escape.” She responded. “You can’t lie to me. I know you too well.”

He watched her face. He knew that she was right. They had spent far too much time together for him to be able to get anything past her anymore. Especially with her being as observant as she was.

“No one blames you, you know.” She said to him as she lay down and looked up at the sky which was now growing darker.

“I know.” He said as he lay back down and looked up at the sky. “I just needed time to think.”

Amaryllis didn’t say anything. She didn’t think there was anything she could say. The two of them were just happy being in one another’s company.

* * *

Amaryllis sat alone in the library. Some days that was all she needed. Just to sit alone and study. After all she couldn’t be expected to spend all her time with others. It was draining.

She had finished all her work for everything except Arithmancy. As she set about doing her homework she noticed a shadow appear over her parchment.

“It’s a nice day.” The person told her. “Why are you spending it in the library?”

“I don’t want this to be hanging over my head.” Amaryllis explained.

“Come on Amy.” He said to her. “We go home in less than a week. You know how mother is when we’re there.”

“Reg I’d rather get this done now so when your mother inevitably decides I need more lessons on how to be a perfect pureblood girl I don’t have all this left behind.” She explained looking up at him for the first time.

Regulus looked down at what she was doing. He hadn’t actually seen what she was working on until this point. Now, knowing what she was doing, he had an even better reason for her to leave her work.

“Have you finished all your other work?” He asked.

Amaryllis just nodded trying to figure out where he was going with this.

“Then come out to the lake.” He told her. “You love Arithmancy. It’s easy for you. You do it for fun. Don’t worry about it hanging over your head. You’ll do it not because you have to but because you enjoy it.”

She let out a sigh understanding where he was coming from there was just one problem with his reasoning.

“I don’t love Arithmancy.” She explained. “I just find it easy because I’ve done similar work before. Arithmancy is very much like what the muggles call mathematics. In a sense of course. It is working out puzzles using numbers and letters.”

He just stared at her. There was no way he could have predicted that. He never expected muggle learning to have any connection to magical learning. Well, apart from muggle studies that is.

“Are any more of the classes here like your old muggle classes?” He asked sitting down in the seat across from her.

“Well I suppose you could say Potions is somewhat like Home Economics.” She said. “Seeing as Home Economics was mainly cooking.”

He just stared at her. None of what she was saying was really making sense.

“And of course History is relatively similar wherever you are.” She finished.

He just smiled and nodded not really knowing how else to react. As she was talking she had been packing up her books. Regulus only noticed this when she stood up and place her bag over her shoulder.

“Still want to go to the lake?” She asked him.

“It is rather beautiful when frozen.” He said as he stood up and smiled at her.

Together they headed out of the library towards the lake.

When they stepped outside Amaryllis’ eyes looked around at everything. It was strange seeing all the frost and snow. She had never seen anything like it before. And she was most certainly not use to winter at Christmas time.

The frozen lake with its thin sheet of snow covering it was simply breath taking. Nothing would ever compare to this moment. The moment she first laid eyes on the beautiful scene that was the Hogwarts grounds in winter.


	6. Can We Dance

Amaryllis and Regulus walked into the ballroom of Malfoy Manor. Amaryllis was still in shock at the fact that she’d even been allowed to attend this ball.

A few days after they had gotten back to the black family house Walburga had whisked Amaryllis away to go shopping once again. Walburga had refused to explain why they needed to go shopping at first however the robes that were purchased expressed to Amaryllis that this was no small affair they were shopping for.

It had taken another couple of days before Walburga had explained to her about the ball that the Malfoy family was hosting for Christmas.

“Amy, relax.” Regulus told her. “You’ll be fine.”

“That easy for you to say Reg.” She responded.

“Come meet Narcissa.” He said to her grabbing a hold of her hand in order to lead her over to his cousin.

Amaryllis followed, not knowing how else to responded to Regulus’ request. The two of them moved through the groups of people, many stopping to glance at the girl being led by Regulus Black, towards the spot he knew his cousin would be with her husband.

“Regulus?” Narcissa Malfoy asked as they arrive at their destination.

“Hello Narcissa.” Regulus said as his cousin pulled him into a hug causing him to drop Amaryllis’ hand. When he managed to escape from her grasp he stepped back beside Amaryllis. “I’d like to introduce you to Amaryllis Merrin. She has recently moved here from Australia due to some troubling family issues.”

Amaryllis sent Regulus a glare at his words. However lovely this beautiful woman in front of her seemed she did not want to have to explain her story for she was sure she may falter in some of the details.

“It’s lovely to meet you Amaryllis.” Narcissa said to her before turning around to tap a tall blond man on the shoulder. “This is my husband Lucius Malfoy.”

“Pleasure to meet you Miss…” Lucius began before trailing off not yet knowing her name.

“Merrin.” Amaryllis finished. “Amaryllis Merrin.”

He reached forward to kiss the back of her hand his cold grey eyes never leaving her green ones.

“Where did you find this one?” He asked Regulus.

She stepped back beside Regulus who put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I was asked to watch over her.” Regulus said not exactly sure how to explain what happened.

“Regulus has been helping me adjust to life at Hogwarts.” Amaryllis said. “Hogwarts is very different to what I’m used to.”

Regulus was going to have to thank her later for that. He knew there was no way he could have phrased it as well as she had. She just had a way with words.

Lucius looked between the two before he turned and walked off to whatever he was doing before.

“Please excuse Lucius.” Narcissa said. “He’s quite busy.”

“Of course.” Amaryllis said smiling at the older woman. “I would imagine he is.”

The two women smiled at one another.

“Come meet some of the others.” Narcissa said to her. “Regulus, you won’t mind if I steal Amaryllis away for a while?”

“Of course not.” Regulus said hoping that the two females could be friends, despite the 6 year age difference.

Amaryllis followed the older woman. She was being led through the crowd to where a group of women stood. As she looked at the women Amaryllis couldn’t help but feel shy. They were all beautiful and appeared to embody the exaction actions Walburga had been placing on her without even trying.

It was clear that all these women were wealthy pureblood women.

“Amaryllis meet my sister, Bellatrix Lestrange.” Narcissa said to her. “And my friends Kathleen Greengrass and Celeste Parkinson.”

The first women sent her a strange smile. Her dark hair was a direct contrast to the pale blonde hair of her sister. The two sisters looked remarkably similar although it seemed as though where Narcissa appeared to be all that was light and good Bellatrix appeared to be all that was dark and bad.

The second woman seemed as though she not even a year out of Hogwarts however based on the rings on her fingers she was already a married woman. Her honey curls hung around her face which seemed strange considering Walburga’s insistence that women should have their hair done up for events such as this.

The final woman, although seemingly less beautiful than the others she stood with, still made Amaryllis feel as though she was not made to fit in with these women. Her dark hair, while not nearly as dark as Bellatrix’s, had a shine to it that was not so much greasy as it was healthy.

“Lovely to meet you all.” Amaryllis said smiling at the women. “I’m Amaryllis Merrin.”

“I’ve heard Aunt Walburga mention you before.” Bellatrix pointed out. “She seems to think…”

“Not now Bella.” Narcissa said. “She said you would bring it up in her own time.”

Amaryllis watched the two sisters wondering what they were talking about however there wasn’t anything she could say. There was no way she wanted to impose on a conversation with those two women. They both seemed remarkably frightening. Not exactly people she’d want to get in the middle of an argument between.

Amaryllis wasn’t exactly sure how to interact with these women. She was scared they were going to see right through her act. She knew that her act had been carefully crafted with the help of both Walburga and Regulus but she couldn’t help but fear that these women, who had acted this way their entire lives, would be able to see that this was not who she really was.

It wasn’t long that she was standing there with the women occasionally answering questions directed her way or adding a comment or two when she felt it was expected of her. Eventually the husbands of all four women came over and took them out to the dance floor. Amaryllis watched with a smile seeing how beautifully they danced. It was something she knew she would never be able to do.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Regulus asked as he joined her looking out at the others dancing.

“I suppose so.” She said turning and giving him a smile. “I’m so scared they’ll all see right through me. That they’ll all know that I’m merely posing as a witch.”

“You need to stop saying that.” He told her. “You are not posing as a witch. You can do magic, can’t you?”

“Barely.” She said attempting not to snort.

Snorting was not allowed. Although she may do it when she was only with only Regulus or Lucinda she would not do it if there was a chance of anyone else hearing as it would wreck the image she had tried so hard to create.

“Stop doubting yourself.” He told her. “The more you doubt your abilities the more likely you are to fail.”

Amaryllis rolled her eyes at Regulus even though she knew that wasn’t how she was supposed to act.

“What are you?” She asked. “A bloody fortune cookie.”

“What?” He asked her not understanding what she was talking about.

“Nothing, it’s a muggle thing.” She sighed as quietly as she could.

“Well, do you want to dance?” He asked her.

“I can’t dance.” She admitted.

“It’s easy.” He said putting out his hand for her. “Just follow my lead.”

Amaryllis took the hand he held out for her and the two of them moved out to join the others where they danced. She stepped around to face him and he adjusted the grip of the hand he was holding. He also placed his hand on her lower back causing her to stare at him.

She had never done anything like this before. Her whole life she’d only ever seen people dance. If she had ever done it was not something she thought was a good idea for her to do. She was hopelessly uncoordinated causing her to miss her footing every now and then.

Regulus held her making sure she didn’t fall over. He wasn’t sure how but throughout the dance he managed to maintain a straight face. He didn’t once flinch in pain as she stepped on his foot. He didn’t once let out a chuckle at her very strange concentration face.

When the song finally ended Amaryllis let go of his hand and made her way back over to the spot she had been standing at before. She could not dance and there was no way Regulus was going to make her do that again.

“You look familiar.” A voice said beside her. “Although I’m not sure how.”

Amaryllis turned to see someone she didn’t know. The man beside her looked familiar. Perhaps she had seen him before she just didn’t remember who he was.

“Perhaps you’ve seen me at Hogwarts.” She suggested.

“What house are you in?” He asked sceptically.

“Slytherin.” She told him. “Really this is my first year at the school.”

“Ah, you’re the girl who’s always with Black.” He said. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Rabastan Lestrange.”

Amaryllis just nodded. She didn’t realise that was how people viewed her.

“Amaryllis Merrin.” She responded presenting her hand as Walburga had taught her to do.

He lifted it up and kissed her knuckles. She just sent him a soft smile.

“What’s a girl like you doing over here all by herself?” He asked.

“I can’t dance.” She admitted hoping that she would not get coerced back out onto the dance floor.

“Maybe you haven’t had the right partner.” He suggested.

He seemed as though he wanted something from her. That just didn’t sit right with her. She was no longer comfortable talking to him. Her eyes began to dart around the room looking for Regulus.

“I highly doubt that.” She said a fake smile still plastered on her face. After all, she couldn’t let him know that she was uncomfortable.

“Come, I’ll help you.” He said as he put out his hand to try and take her back out to the dance floor.

“If you value your feet I don’t think you should do that.” Regulus said from behind Amaryllis.

Amaryllis tried her hardest not to let out a sigh of relief at Regulus’ voice.

“Amaryllis here is probably the worst dancer I’ve ever met.” Regulus told Rabastan. “I had to duck away quickly in hopes of finding someone to heal my feet after she nearly broke every bone in them.”

Rabastan looked between the two of them. It was clear that something was going on with them. He just wasn’t sure what it was just as yet.

* * *

A few days after the ball Amaryllis was finishing the last of her homework in order to have it all finished by the time the new year came. She didn’t think it would do her much good to have her homework hanging over her head.

“Mistress told Kreacher to bring Miss Amaryllis’ visitor to Miss Amaryllis.” Kreacher said from the door way of her room.

“I have visitor.” Amaryllis said as she looked at the elf.

From behind the door frame stepped Narcissa. She looked as beautiful as ever once again making Amaryllis feel inadequate in comparison.

“Narcissa?” Amaryllis asked standing up as she noticed the woman. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to invite you join the rest of us women for New Year’s.” Narcissa explained. “We like to sit together as talk for New Year’s as it is much calmer than being with the men who enjoy their drinking.”

Amaryllis just stared in shock. She didn’t realise this was how people of this world reacted. She was still so used to the huge parties that people would host in her old town. People here seemed as though they would be so calm at New Year’s. She just couldn’t picture it.

“Have you spoken with Walburga about this?” Amaryllis asked knowing she would need the approval of the older woman in order to go with Narcissa.

“Aunt Walburga said she would love for you to spend time with more ladies closer to your own age from our society.” Narcissa explained.

Amaryllis gave her a small smile. It seemed as though Narcissa really wanted them to spend time together. Maybe she might even be able to find a friend in one of these people she was going to be stuck with.

“I suppose I will join you then.” Amaryllis smiled at Narcissa.

Both women were pleased with this outcome. They both wanted to be able to spend time together without having to worry about if the men were going to come over and question their conversations and actions.

“I’ll come pick you up at five tomorrow.” Narcissa told her. “We will be apparating so you’ll have to come with me.”

Amaryllis nodded not actually understanding what she was talking about. She would have to ask Regulus once Narcissa had left.

“Thank you very much.” Amaryllis said to Narcissa as she left.

Narcissa returned Amaryllis’ smile before heading back out of her bedroom door. Amaryllis let out a sigh of relief once Narcissa was gone and slumped back into her chair. She really didn’t like acting all proper. It wasn’t at all who she was although she knew it was the only way to truly be accepted by these people.

After recomposing herself Amaryllis quickly got up, checked her appearance in the mirror to fix anything that might make her look less than the perfect girl Walburga wanted her to be and made her way down the hallway to Regulus’ room.

She knew he’d be there. He was always there. She softly knocked on the door knowing if she knocked too loudly Walburga would hear and question what she was doing.

“Amy?” Regulus asked quietly when he opened the door.

“Narcissa was just here.” Amaryllis explained. “I have some questions about some things she said.”

Regulus looked over her shoulder to see if his mother was lurking anywhere near before ushering her quickly and quietly into his room. The two of them sat down on the side of his bed so they could talk.

“Why was Narcissa here?” Regulus asked.

He was clearly as confused as Amaryllis had initially been by Narcissa’s visit. It seemed as though house visits were not very common among these people.

“She came to invite me to, well, a ladies night for New Year’s.” Amaryllis explained.

“That makes sense.” Regulus said nodding. “It means that Narcissa and the others are willing to accept you into their circle. They want you as part of their group.”

“They do?” She asked in shock.

She hadn’t realised she’d made an impression on the women at the ball. She would have thought she was rather forgettable. She had never expected them to like her, let alone want her as a part of their group.

“I knew you and Narcissa would get along.” He explained. “Clearly the other women like you just as much.”

There was nothing Amaryllis could say. She just looked down at her feet with a small smile on her face. It was a nice feeling, being liked. She only hoped he could maintain it. How long would it take before these women realised how ignorant she actually was about their world?

“She also mentioned something about something called apparating.” Amaryllis said. “She said I’d have to go with her. I believe it might be some form of transportation however I’m not certain.”

“Remember how mother got us from the platform to the house?” Regulus asked her smiling.

“That awful teleportation thing that made me feel like my insides were being squeezed out?” She asked in response.

“Yes, that.” He was laughing at her ignorance when it came to things in the magical world.

He had to admit though, it was rather adorable how embarrassed she got when she didn’t know something that everyone else their age obviously knew.

“Oh no, I don’t want to throw up on Narcissa.” She said now terrified by what could happen.

“Mother is a lot harsher with magic than most.” He told her. “Apparating with Narcissa with be better than with Mother. That isn’t to say it will be comfortable. It will just be better. If I remember correctly you didn’t throw up after we got home.”

“I felt like I would.” She admitted. “Your mother is so terrifying though that if I had I probably would have died. My fear of your mother was far greater than my want to throw up.”

Again he started laughing at her.

“Shut up.” She told him, shoving his shoulder.

The two of them just continued talking and joking with one another. It was nice for them to be able to joke around together for a while. Kreacher had been put on guard by the two of them so if Walburga came close to either of their rooms he would quickly take Amaryllis back to avoid them getting caught.


	7. Ruin That For Me

It had been no less than a week that they had been back at Hogwarts before something happened which sent Amaryllis into shock. It was something that most people would find normal however she had never expected to be like everybody else.

She received a letter.

Amaryllis stared at the letter for a moment, not daring to open it. As she looked at the beautiful letters on the front of it forming her name. The longer she stared at the letters the less her name looked correct.

“Amy, aren’t you going to open it?” Regulus asked seeing her staring at the letter.

She flipped open the letter so she could open it but stopped once again staring at the crest on the back of the envelope. It was the Black Family crest.

“Reg, why am I receiving a letter from your family?” She spoke rather slowly as she questioned the letter in her hand.

“Perhaps mother has something she wants to say to you.” He suggested not paying much attention to her as he filled her plate with food.

Noticing that he was serving her food again she shot him a glare.

“You weren’t doing it and you need to eat.” He defended. “Just eat now, you can sort out the letter later.”

Amaryllis nodded putting the letter into her bag and began to pick at the food in front of her not feeling like eating with the worry of the letter being far too great.

“Maybe I said something wrong when with the other women.” She said softly to Regulus while staring at the food in front of her.

She began to recall all that had happened that New Year’s. Being with Narcissa, Bellatrix, Kathleen and Celeste had meant she had needed to be on her best behaviour all evening as it wasn’t like Regulus was there to cover up any of her mistakes.

As she thought back on all she had said she couldn’t think of anything that night have been wrong for the situation. There had been no adverse reactions to anything she had said. Maybe she was worrying for nothing.

“I think Mother would have sent a howler rather than an ordinary letter had you done something wrong.” Regulus explained to her.

Amaryllis nodded at his comment. It did seem fair enough. She looked over at him sending him a small smile before beginning to actually eat the food in front of her. As she started eating she noticed Regulus relax and smile as well. It was clear he only wanted what was best for her right now and she would have to accept it.

* * *

Amaryllis sat on her bed, the letter she had received at lunch in her hands. She was still terrified of opening it. There was no saying what would be in it.

Perhaps it was Walburga saying she was no longer welcome in their home. Perhaps she had done something at the Malfoy’s ball and they had just found out about it. Perhaps Walburga had found out all her stories were just lies.

Amaryllis couldn’t bear to read the letter. She didn’t want this life she had just pulled together to fall apart right before her eyes.

“Are you going to keep staring at that letter or are you going to open it?” Marianne asked her.

Amaryllis holding a letter containing the Black Family crest provided Marianne the perfect opportunity to have another go at Amaryllis. After all the only good Marianne saw with having Amaryllis around was her friendship with the heir of the Black Family.

“Why do you care about it?” Amaryllis asked not seeing why Marianne would care about the letter at all.

“Because it involves the Black Family.” She said moving over to the other girl’s bed.

Amaryllis just rolled her eyes shoving the letter back into her back and leaving the dorm. She didn’t want Marianne to know anything about the letter. It was hers. She was going to read it by herself. No one else should be there when her life was going to fall apart.

As she walked down the corridor to the library she avoided the looks that everyone was giving her. It wasn’t often that she was seen alone. Usually she had one of the three boys she was friends with by her side. If not one of them then Lucinda was with her.

“Liz.” Amaryllis heard from behind her as she neared the library.

Upon hearing this she rolled her eyes. There were only two idiots who called her that.

“Potter, Black, what do you want?” She snapped turning around to face them. She really wasn’t in the mood to talk to them at that exact moment.

“What’s up your ass?” Sirius asked her.

“All I want is some peace and quiet to read a letter that might just end my life as I know it.” She said through gritted teeth. “But no matter where I go someone is always there. Please can everyone just leave me alone.”

“Calm, Liz, calm.” Sirius said jokingly in hope of getting her to relax.

“Piss off Black.” She said as she turned and entered the library finding the most secluded table as far away from everyone as possible.

Once she sat down she pulled out the letter no longer caring about the fear of what was in the letter. She knew she had about five seconds before someone else would find her and start pestering her about something. As she ripped off the seal she closed her eyes knowing how important the letter could be.

_Dear Miss Merrin,_

_I am writing to inform you of the information received from the families at the winter ball you attended during your break. We have been informed that your behaviour was exactly as I had informed you to behave. Furthermore the reports I have received of your actions during your evening with the other ladies was also to a satisfactory standard. Due to these advancements in your behaviour I have seen it fit to inform you of a betrothal arrangement that currently being arranged between yourself and Regulus in hopes of you maintaining this behaviour into the future. As you are both still underage we shall have to wait for the marriage due to new laws in the Ministry. I would advise you not to inform Regulus of this presently as this is offered with your appearance towards others being kept in mind._

_Sincerely,  
Walburga Black_

“Marriage.” Amaryllis exclaimed to herself quietly.

This was in no way what she had expected. How could she have ever predicted something like this? Marrying Regulus was not something she had ever thought about before.

She just stared at the letter in front of her all the other noises around her turning to a dull white noise. Her mind was racing faster than it ever had before. None of this made sense.

“Amaryllis?” She heard a voice say.

She snapped out of her trance shaking her head.

“Yes.” She said looking up at the person before dropping her expression to a glare. “What do you want Lupin?”

“Are you alright?” He said having noticed her expression, terrified of what she was thinking.

“Everything’s fine.” She said as she folded up with letter and shoved it back to her back once again standing up and walking out of the library.

Could she run into anymore Gryffindors today?

The answer to that was yes. As she moved quickly through the corridor towards the Astronomy tower in hopes of being alone to think she ran into yet another Gryffindor.

“Watch where you’re going.” She snapped at the girl who she had run into.

“I think you’ll find you’re the one who needs to watch where they’re going.” The girl responded.

Two equally piercing glares came from two sets of green eyes.

“Who are you?” Amaryllis asked the girl in front of her.

“Lily Evans.” The girl said as she picked herself up of the ground.

“You’re Potter’s girl.” Amaryllis said seeing the Gryffindor robes of the girl she was facing having also gotten up of the ground.

She could remember that first night with the boys. Sirius had mentioned something about James being in love with someone names Evans.

“I’m not Potter’s girl.” Lily defended. “But if that’s how we’re describing each other, you’re Black’s brother’s girl.”

“I hardly see how that’s insulting.” Amaryllis said as she remembered the contents of the letter in her bag. “You seem much more offended by being connected to Potter.”

“Because Potter is an arrogant toe-rag.” Lily expressed.

“Well obviously.” Amaryllis said rolling her eyes. “Regulus on the other hand is perfect gentleman.”

Lily let out a sigh.

“Amaryllis Merrin.” Amaryllis said not sure if Lily knew her name or not.

Although after she said it she didn’t see why she had. She didn’t need Lily knowing her name. Amaryllis just rolled her eyes again and walked off. She continued along the hallway ignoring every call that Lily made after her retreating figure.

Amaryllis needed nothing more than to be alone at that exact moment. She needed to work out exactly what Walburga wanted from her. After all, Walburga wanted Amaryllis to marry her son.

* * *

Amaryllis sat on a ledge of the Astronomy tower watching the sunset over the forest. It was beautiful. She knew that the sun setting meant that dinner would currently be happening although right now she didn’t feel much like eating. Everything around her was changing and she didn’t know how or why.

This life she was currently living. It was so different to anything she had ever expected her life to be. She’d always imagined she’d grow up, fall in love, get a job, get married, then start a family. Now it was seeming like she would get married before she could do anything else.

She had learnt that in the wizarding world people came of age at 17. This meant that she could be married in just over a year. Married to a boy who was merely her friend. Not someone she actually loved. It was so different to the world she was used to. So different to anything she had ever known.

From what she had heard from Walburga it seemed that women of her standing, however strange it seemed to sound, didn’t work. All they did was be a housewife with the occasional little project. It seemed that most women spent all their time looking after the children and planning balls. That was never what Amaryllis wanted from her life.

To think, a year ago she had known exactly where she was and what she wanted from life. But now, her whole life was laid out in front of her and she had no say in how it would go.

She looked down at the letter which was once again in her hands hoping that the words would be different. They never were.

Amaryllis swore she had read over the letter nearly twenty times now hoping for different words. The problem with reading over the letter so many times meant she had memorised exactly what it said. Those were words she didn’t want memorised.

“Amy, are you up here?” She heard Regulus’ voice ask from the doorway of the stairs.

She didn’t say anything. He was bound to come out and find her anyway. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything not when she knew what was going to happen with them.

“You’re missing dinner.” He said after noticing her sitting and looking out at the forest. “You need to eat. It isn’t healthy to skip meals.”

She just shrugged. It wasn’t like anyone was going to see her do the action she had been forbidden to do. She had been told it wasn’t proper to act like that. She should always vocalise her opinion when spoken to directly.

“Was it bad?” He asked clearly referring to the letter which he had spied in her hand.

Realising he knew she had the letter in her hands she folded it over so he wouldn’t read it before shaking her head. If she had said it was bad he would have thought it meant she was being cast out. She believed that he would see what was in the letter as good.

“She told me I behaved exactly as she had instructed me to.” Amaryllis explained still not looking at him. “She said that my behaviour was to a satisfactory standard at both the ball and the night I spent with Narcissa and the others.”

“Then what are you doing sitting up here?” He asked sitting down beside her in an attempt to catch her eye.

He had no idea why she was avoiding his gaze. It wasn’t like her. She usually smiled at him while they were talking, not avoided his gaze.

“I guess it just means that this is now my life.” She said with a sigh turning to look at him.

The emotion he saw in her eyes was not something he was used to seeing in her eyes. She seemed sad and afraid. It was strange because she never seemed scared of anything. Even though this whole world was new to her nothing ever seemed to frighten her. Yet, somehow, this did.

“It means that everything I knew of my life before, all the plans that I had, they’re all gone now.” Amaryllis continued. “I guess I miss my old life more than I’d wanted to admit.”

Regulus didn’t know how to respond to this. She was never like this before. What was in that letter that made her like this?

“Can I see the letter?” He asked.

“No, she said not to show you.” She told him. “I’ve told you all that you need to know from the letter anyway. The rest was merely more things I should follow while at Hogwarts.”

She wanted to tell him the truth. She hated lying to Regulus after everything he’d done for her. More than anything she wanted to say, “Your mother is so pleased with how I’ve been acting that she wants us to get married.” But she knew that she couldn’t. She couldn’t disobey Walburga.

“Alright.” He said as he turned his head to look out at the very end of the sun set watching the last part of the sun disappear behind the trees.

He could tell she didn’t want to go to dinner. It was clear she wasn’t in the mood to eat so he wasn’t going to force her to as he would have any other time. He was going to make sure she ate properly in the morning. He couldn’t have her skipping two meals in a row.

Once the sun had completely disappeared the sky began to grow dark the two of them made their way down from the Astronomy tower. They headed back towards the common room in silence neither having anything else to say.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this.” Amaryllis said to him as they reached the dungeons.

She couldn’t have anyone knowing how she had reacted to the letter. It wasn’t how someone was supposed to act and she knew that. She couldn’t have people finding out she had a weakness.

“Of course not.” Regulus responded sending her another smile before they entered the common room.


	8. bummer

Amaryllis had been avoiding Regulus for a full week. She didn’t want to she just wasn’t sure exactly how she was meant to act around him. As much as she could she had been spending time with Lucinda however during classes, in which she usually sat with Regulus she had taken to sitting with Corbin or Timothy.

Amaryllis’ actions were confusing Regulus. He had no idea why she was acting so strangely. On numerous occasions he had attempted to find the letter that his mother had sent her, even going as far as to convince some of the girls in her dorm to try and find it for him. However it had not succeeded and he still had no idea what his mother had said to her.

After classes one day Amaryllis had left with the boys as she would have before however once they had made their way further down the hallway towards the dungeons and their common room she spied a passage. Just as they were about to reach the passage she grabbed a hold of Corbin’s arm and dragged him quickly over to the passage.

Dragging Corbin over to the passage was no easy task. Amaryllis was a tiny girl forcing her to use all her strength just to get the boy over to the passage.

“Shh.” She told him when he tried to call out to their friends. “I need to talk to you.”

Corbin just stared at the girl. She had never tried to talk to him alone before, apart from the awkward conversation at the Quidditch match which was forced by no one else actually being available to be there, so this interaction was rather confusing to him.

“What do you want Merrin?” He asked.

He still hadn’t gotten over her initial animosity causing him to be mistrustful of her actions towards him.

“I need you to explain some things to me.” She said.

“Don’t you usually go to Regulus with this sort of thing?” He asked confused as to why he needed to help her understand certain aspects of her life.

“Yes, but Walburga has forbidden me from telling him about this.” She stated.

Corbin was confused. Why would Walburga want Amaryllis to hide something from Regulus? It was obvious to anyone that the two of them were closer with one another than any of their other friends.

“Which reminds me, you are not to mention any of what I say to him as I am going to have to explain the entire situation to you.” She continued.

He just nodded at her not knowing how else to respond. Clearly Walburga was rubbing off on Amaryllis more than either of them realised. The girl was becoming increasing more like the older woman after each break. It was beginning to become rather terrifying.

“Essentially, the simplified version of it is, Walburga is impressed with how I have been presenting myself and had told me that if I manage to keep it up the betrothal arrange she is creating between myself and Regulus will go ahead.” She explained to him.

Corbin just stared at the girl. He knew it was going to be something big if she wasn’t allowed to tell Regulus however he would never have expected this.

“I have no idea what she is means by any of that yet I can’t ask Regulus as he is not allowed to know about the betrothal at present.” She said. “Please, can you help me understand what this means?”

Amaryllis pulled the letter Walburga had given her out of her robe. She had taken to carrying it with her in order to prevent Regulus from somehow getting a hold of it as she knew he wanted to know what the letter really said.

“The whole idea of the betrothal is essentially a pureblood family’s way of making sure their blood remains pure by organising a marriage between their children and the children of other pureblood families.” Corbin explained after reading through the letter. “Although a perfectly understandable tradition it does make for a great many unhappy marriages as well as marriages between cousins.”

“What?” She asked in shock as she took back the letter that he held out for her.

She didn’t realise that in order to keep their blood pure the families went to those extremes. She couldn’t imagine how many of them would have been forced to marry cousins in order to keep their blood lines pure.

“Didn’t you know that?” He asked confused by her clear lack of knowledge on pureblood customs.

“Of course not.” She responded. “Where I’m from it is not considered right to marry your cousin. But I suppose that just adds another reason to my list of why this place is so different to what I’m used to.”

“In reality you shouldn’t have to worry too much about this arrangement Walburga is setting up.” Corbin told her knowing that she was probably going to be stressing much more now than she previously had been. “She most likely has seen you and Regulus interact and this that marriage between the two of you would be beneficial due to your comfort with one another.”

“So it’s to create a comfortable marriage rather than one of love or animosity?” Amaryllis asked in hope of gaining confirmation of her suspicions.

“Purebloods rarely marry for love.” He told her. “It’s just not how things are done. Some pureblood families allow their children to marry halfbloods without muggle parents or grandparents as the children would still technically be purebloods. However families like the Blacks, they’re only allowed to marry purebloods. After all their family motto is _toujours pur_.”

“Always pure.” She muttered having asked Regulus about it in the past. “Thank you Corbin.”

He sent her a smile. It was clear the two of them no longer held the same dislike for one another that they had initially. They made their way out of the passage in order to head back to the common room. By now Timothy and Regulus had probably realised they were missing.

Amaryllis missing wasn’t something that would phase the group as they would assume that she was with Lucinda however with Corbin missing as well, they were probably wondering what was going on.

“Just act how you normally would around Regulus.” Corbin told her as they reached the entrance to the common room.

“Remember you can’t mention any of this to him.” Amaryllis reminded him after nodding in response to his statement.

He too nodded at her request as the two of them entered the common room ready for their friends to hit them with questions.

They were right to prepare themselves. The moment they entered the common room both Corbin and Regulus stared at them. Two who stood at the entrance to the common room, who would usually exchanging hateful words, were standing in silence looking over at the two watching them.

It was certainly a strange sight for all. Amaryllis and Corbin made their way over to where their friends were sitting and joined them.

“What were you two doing?” Regulus asked confused by the almost comfort that seemed to come from the two who had just sat down.

“Just talking.” Amaryllis said with a smile. “I thought it was high time we stopped arguing like little children so we just spoke for a short while and figured out our differences.”

Regulus stared at her for any clue of whether or not she was lying. He hoped that by staring at her long enough he could notice something that might reveal that she was lying. He couldn’t find any.

“Corbin?” Regulus questioned hoping that his ability to lie wouldn’t be nearly as good as hers.

“Amaryllis is right.” He said looking over at the girl beside him. “Our constant arguing was being a strain on our friendship with you two. We thought it was time to put our petty arguments to bed.”

Studying Corbin’s face had the same success that studying Amaryllis’ had. The two were either telling the truth or both wonderful liars.

“Regulus I wanted to apologise for my actions this past week.” She said to her friend. “I had a lot on my mind which caused my actions towards you to seem rather hurtful.”

All three boys stared at the girl. None of them had ever expected to hear words like that come from her, yet they just had.

“It’s fine Amy.” He said sending her a smile.

She smiled back at him before the small group of four began to talk quietly amongst one another.

Amaryllis was glad she was able to truly understand what direction her life was heading in.

Regulus was glad Amaryllis was no longer avoiding him.

Corbin was glad that the true reason he and Amaryllis had been talking wasn’t discovered.

Timothy was glad that all the fights between Corbin and Amaryllis were going to stop.

The small group was once again happy. A small feat that most outside the group would be unable to recognise. Yet it meant everything to those who were a part of it.

* * *

It was strange for the whole group to be found in the library, yet they were spending more and more of their time there together. As exams were drawing closer the group had taken to spending more time studying, after all, they were sitting their O.W.L.s in a few months.

It had been nearly a month since Amaryllis and Corbin had had their little discussion in the passage and Corbin thought it was amusing to tease her about it at every opportunity.

This was how the two of them ended up forgoing their studies in order to argue through notes.

_Are you going to ask Him to Hogsmeade?_

A piece of parchment had found its way on to the top of Amaryllis’ stack of work. She stared at the parchment for a moment before looking up to glare at Corbin who was sitting across from her a smirk on his face.

_Absolutely not._

She slid the parchment back to him after writing her response. He read the words on it before scrawling something else underneath and passing it back to her.

_You should at some point. You need to come to terms with this arrangement._

Amaryllis just rolled her eyes at his words. He did have a point but she had been told not to inform Regulus of the arrangement. How could she ask him and not have him question her motives?

_Oh, of course. Because She wouldn’t kill me for doing that._

They had taken to referring to Walburga as ‘She’ and Regulus as ‘Him’ in case anyone overheard them or ever read their notes. It meant no one could figure out who they were talking about.

Corbin had worked out how Amaryllis processed all their conversations and why she acted and responded a certain way to his messages. She was obviously scared of something when it came to Regulus and Walburga. He just needed to figure out what exactly it was.

_Merlin forbid She might think you actually like one another and genuinely want to be together._

Amaryllis stared at the words in front of her. She couldn’t bear to think about what would happen if Walburga suspected there was actually something going on between herself and Regulus.

_Oh yes and push up the wedding. Married on His seventeenth birthday. Wouldn’t that be fun?_

Amaryllis went to hand the parchment back to Corbin when it was pulled from her hand.

“What are you two doing?” Regulus asked looking down at the parchment.

Both Amaryllis and Corbin looked at one another. Regulus wasn’t meant to find out. He wasn’t meant to read their conversations. They watched as he finished reading the parchment.

“Well, are you going to explain?” He asked.

Timothy looked between the three of them before taking the parchment and reading it for himself. Amaryllis just rolled her eyes and glared at Corbin.

‘This was just great.’ She thought to herself. ‘Now they all know and Walburga is going to end me.’

“It was just a conversation.” Corbin defended.

“About Amy marrying someone?” Regulus questioned. “Who is it?”

“I can’t tell you.” She muttered her voice so quiet that the other three struggled to hear what she was saying. “I’ve been forbidden from mentioning it to you.”

“But you told Corbin?” Regulus almost yelled.

It was clear to Amaryllis and Corbin that Regulus was angry. It was clear the two of them had been keeping secrets for a while. He began to wonder when all this started.

“It was that letter, wasn’t it?” He asked.

Amaryllis just nodded. She hated when people were mad at her. It made her feel so small. It was a feeling she hated more than anything else.

“There were things you didn’t understand in the letter.” He continued no longer asking her as he was putting together the pieces himself.

She nodded again not trusting herself to form proper words.

“So you went to Corbin for help?” He finished.

“I wasn’t allowed to talk to you.” She finally defended herself. “You know I would have asked you the minute I saw it if I could but I was told not to.”

“You could have twisted the truth like you do with everyone else.” He protested.

“I can’t lie to you.” She said. “I lie to everyone. I just couldn’t bring myself to lie to you too.”

The three boys all stared at her. Timothy hadn’t realised the extent of her lies until that point. Corbin hadn’t realised the true relationship between her and Regulus until that point. Regulus hadn’t realised that she felt that way until that point.

“So you thought you’d hide it from me instead?” He confirmed.

“Your mother’s words were ‘I would advise you not to inform Regulus of this presently’ which I’ve learnt to interpret as ‘Don’t tell him’ over the time I’ve spent with her.” Amaryllis explained.

Regulus had to admit her reasoning was flawless. The relationship she had with his mother would certainly have been affected had she told him anything.

“You’ve read over the letter so many times you memorised it.” He said with a laugh realising she had been able to recite exactly what he would have imagined to be in the letter.

“I always hoped for different words but they never changed.” She told him.

Corbin just stared at her. He knew about the letter. He knew the words that had been written to her. But he hadn’t known that was how she felt about it. He thought she didn’t mind. He would never have guessed that she didn’t want what was being given to her.

“Does he, the boy you’re going to marry, does he know about this?” Regulus asked.

“I don’t think so.” Amaryllis said.

Corbin was surprised by her words. She had just told him that she couldn’t lie yet here she was doing exactly that.

“It’s all still pending my appearance in society.” Amaryllis explained.

“So if all goes to plan…” He started before trailing off.

“I’ll be married off as soon as I’m out of school.” She confirmed. “If not before.”

They all just sat in silence. None of them had anything to say. After all the revelations none of them could go back to their work that day. Not while everything was racing through their minds. They decided to head back to the common room seeing as none of them were actually working anymore.

“I’m more surprised that Walburga is marrying Amaryllis off before Regulus.” Timothy said as they were walking.

Amaryllis could see Corbin attempting not to laugh. He looked as though he was about to make a comment in relation to what Timothy had said so she stepped on his foot, hard.

“What was that for Merrin?” Corbin snapped at her as he held her foot.

“Sorry, just a little clumsy sometimes.” She said with a smile.

Her smile however did not reach her eyes. As he looking into her glaring eyes he noticed the darkness behind them. It was in that moment that he realised that messing with her was the worst thing he could do. If she really wanted to, she could kill him with a single word.


	9. Conversation Over

Amaryllis had been avoiding Corbin. She knew it was stupid and probably just her mind playing tricks on her but whenever he looked at her she felt as though he was trying to see into to her mind. Find out what she was thinking.

She knew that if she was to be alone with him he would probably start questioning how she had explained her situation to Regulus. And the lie that she had told him.

It was because of this that Amaryllis once again avoided the group of boys.

Regulus was confused at first as to why she was avoiding them again. He wondered if it was because he had gotten mad at her for following his mother’s orders. After all, it wasn’t like she had lied to him.

With her only other friend, Lucinda, being in the year below her, Amaryllis had to sit with either Regulus and Timothy in class and hope that Corbin wasn’t able to catch her so they could sit together. She also had to walk to her classes alone or with the boys.

Walking with the boys stressed her out more than she liked to admit. She was completely terrified Corbin was going to pull her aside to talk to her. In order to prevent this she stayed as close as she could to Regulus without it seeming strange.

However one day she wasn’t so lucky. On their way to the Great Hall for lunch one day Corbin managed to grab hold of Amaryllis’ arm and drag her into a small alcove.

“Remember what you said to Regulus.” Corbin said to her after casting a silencing charm around the area. “You said you weren’t sure is He knew about the betrothal. You lied to Regulus.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Amaryllis protested.

“You lied to Regulus.” He repeated.

“I didn’t exactly lie.” She said.

“Then what was it?” He asked.

“I twisted the truth.” She said.

“Not an outright lie?” He tried to confirm.

“Look at it this way.” She said with a sigh. “I couldn’t say, ‘no, he doesn’t know’ because then he might start speculating that it might be him. Then he’d ask Walburga and my life would be over.”

The two of them just stared at each other.

“It was one lie.” She said after a while. “It’s not going to hurt anyone.”

With that she left the alcove and headed to the Great Hall. Corbin wasn’t following her. She was sure of it. She couldn’t hear any footsteps behind her. When she reached the table she sat down beside Timothy.

“Where have you been?” He asked her.

“Toilet.” She lied smoothly.

She was glad Regulus hadn’t asked. If he had she wouldn’t have been able to lie as easily.

“You didn’t say anything.” Timothy said to her.

“I’m so sorry Timothy.” She said turning to face him. “Next time I’ll tell you all about my lady problems.”

Regulus burst out laughing. The look on Timothy’s face was one of pure terror. He did not want to hear about her ‘lady problems’ as she so kindly put it. Amaryllis ignored the boys and started to eat.

* * *

“I just don’t see why you’re not more thrilled about this?” Lucinda told Amaryllis as they sat in the corner of the common room.

Amaryllis had explained her situation to Lucinda, leaving out the fact that it was Regulus who she was being betrothed to.

She had really needed the perspective of another girl with the whole situation and Corbin could only tell her so much. The only problem was Lucinda didn’t seem to share Amaryllis’ views on the whole thing.

While Amaryllis was sceptical about the situation and worried if it would allow her any freedom in her life, Lucinda thought the whole situation was wonderful. She knew that she herself would never be in that position but she was over the moon that Amaryllis was going to share her experiences with the situation.

“It just makes everything easier. You don’t have any pressure on you anymore.”

“Oh yes, it’s absolutely thrilling to be married off like I’m property.” The older girl told her friend.

“It’s not like that and you know that.” Lucinda defended.

“Oh, it’s not?” Amaryllis asked sarcastically. “Where’s my choice in this? That’s right, I don’t get one.”

Lucinda just rolled her eyes. The whole situation really showed the difference between the two girls. While Lucinda thought the position Amaryllis was in was absolutely wonderful, Amaryllis whished it was anyone but her who was there.

“It’s how things are done, Mary.” Lucinda said.

“Mary?” Amaryllis asked confused by the name but also wanting to shift the conversation.

“Yeah, your name is so very long.” The younger girl explained. “And I don’t want to call you Amy like Regulus. It seems like something that should just be between the two of you.”

“And you don’t even know my middle name.” Amaryllis joked before shooting a glare at her friend for the comment about Regulus. “But really, don’t call me Mary, it makes me think of that Gryffindor girl, you know the one.”

“Then what do I call you?” Lucinda asked.

“What about Ma-ri, so similar to what you came up with but doesn’t remind me of Gryffindors.” Amaryllis explained.

“Fair enough, Mari it is then.” Lucinda told her.

Amaryllis let out a sigh and closed her books. It wasn’t like she was actually doing her work. She was merely staring at the pages in front of her. It was really not a very productive way to study.

“Why are you so obsessed with my betrothal?” She asked Lucinda after a short silence.

“I guess I always thought they were kind of interesting.” Lucinda explained. “And seeing as I’ll probably never get one I have to live vicariously through you.”

“I wish I could just hand this off to you.” Amaryllis said with a laugh.

“Oh you know Walburga Black would not approve of me.” Lucinda said.

Amaryllis froze. Did she know? How could she know?

“What do you mean?” Amaryllis asked slowly trying to see if Lucinda had discovered anything that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Only that it is all arranged and planned by her.” Lucinda said beginning to grow suspicious. “She’ll probably be the one to plan your wedding. Well, her and your future mother-in-law. Your whole life is all planned by her.”

Amaryllis tried not to let out a sigh of relief. She hadn’t worked it out. If what Lucinda had said was true then the whole wedding was going to be planned by Walburga. Amaryllis feared for how the wedding would turn out.

* * *

“Hey, Merrin, can we come to your wedding?” Corbin asked Amaryllis one night after dinner while they sat in the group sat in the common room.

“Shut it Wilkes.” She told him.

Amaryllis didn’t want the entire house knowing about her betrothal. She knew the only reason Corbin was saying anything was to try to get her to slip up and tell Regulus the truth.

“Who’s marrying Merrin?” Severus Snape asked the group.

Two boys stood beside the group of fifth years. Amaryllis knew exactly who all of them were but she wanted to speak to none of them. Next to the small group on the couches stood Evan Rosier and Severus Snape.

“She won’t tell us.” Regulus told the other boys.

“I won’t tell anyone.” She corrected before shooting Corbin a glare to stop him from saying anything.

The five boys who were standing up decided to join the group sitting on the couches shuffling them around so they could all sit together.

“Don’t think you’re going to get anything out of me.” Amaryllis said as she looked around at the boys who had joined them. “I’m not telling anyone anything until I’ve been told to.”

They all just stared her.

“Amy, calm.” Regulus told her.

“Shut it Reg.” She responded.

“Ignore her, this whole thing has her a little grumpy.” Corbin explained.

Amaryllis just glared at Corbin. He was really getting on her nerves. His antics and attempts to get her to slip up were starting to do her head in. What made it worse was that she couldn’t go to anyone else as no one was supposed to know about this.

“Have you given any thought to what we discussed?” Evan said to Regulus.

Regulus looked over at Amaryllis for a second before turning to look between Evan and Severus. Amaryllis noticed the look Regulus had given her. She knew exactly what he was thinking. He wanted her opinion.

“I need more time.” He said.

“You know He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” Evan responded.

“If you would…” Regulus started.

“It’s not me you should be thinking about.” Evan cut him off. “You know what He wants.”

“We want the same things.” Regulus said. “Both of us do.”

Evan stared at Regulus. Amaryllis was lost. She had no idea what they could possibly be talking about.

“If you really think so.” Evan said as he got up.

He walked away from the group. Both Amaryllis and Timothy stared after him.

“What was that about?” Timothy asked once Evan was out of sight.

None of them knew how good his hearing was. Would he be able to hear what they were saying even if he was on the other side of the room? It wouldn’t surprise them at all if he could. Evan Rosier could be quite terrifying when he wanted to be.

“Later.” Regulus just muttered before turning to Amaryllis.

He stared at her. She tried not to react. She knew he was only doing it to get a rise out of her. He was doing that more and more often now.

“What do you want Black?” She snapped standing up so she was looking down on him.

He didn’t respond. He just stood up, grabbed her wrist and dragged her up to his dorm.

Amaryllis knew that Timothy and Corbin wouldn’t help her. They all knew the expression in Regulus’ eyes. That was not one to cross.

When they reached the dorm there was one person there. Wyatt Kohler, the final dorm mate of Regulus, Timothy and Corbin, was sitting in the room on his bed, reading.

“Kohler, out.” Regulus growled.

Wyatt looked at Regulus for a moment wanting to protested but decided it would be better not to. Regulus seemed rather irritated and it was not a good idea to cross him when he was like that. Wyatt quickly got up and ducked out of the room, taking his book with him.

“Amaryllis, what is going on?” Regulus asked her once Wyatt had shut the door and he had cast silencing charms over the room.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She responded.

“Stop with the mind games.” Regulus yelled at her. “That’s all you ever do. You skirt around the truth never actually saying it. Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because I’ve been told not.” She yelled in response. “Don’t you think I would if could? If you knew me at all you would know you’re the first person I come to for everything. Don’t you think that if I could have told you about it I would have?”

“Mother won’t know.” He said. “I will make sure of it.”

“You can’t promise that.” She said. “And on the topic of mind games what was that little conversation down there?”

“You have no right to pry.” He told her.

“Oh right, sorry, I’ll just go then.” She said moving towards the door.

Before she could get there Regulus moved in front of her and blocked her path.

“Get out of the way.” Amaryllis said sternly.

“Not until you give me something.” He responded.

“Like what? His name? You know I can’t do that.” She shouted before calming down and saying at a better volume. “I can’t give you any clues because if you figure it out then my life could once again be flipped upside down.”

They both just stared at one another for a while neither of them saying anything. Amaryllis was wondering if he would ever be able to accept that there were things that she needed to keep from him. Regulus was wondering if there was any way he could fix the rift that was being formed in their friendship.

“I’m sorry.” He said finally. “I just don’t like that you’re keeping secrets.”

“I don’t like that either of us are.” She told him. “I don’t want to hide things from you. I don’t want to ever lie to you.”

The two of them moved away from the door. The sat down on his bed. All they wanted was a chance to talk. They hadn’t been able to, just the two of them, for a while as things had started getting crazy after they got back from the break.

“What exactly was Rosier talking about?” She asked him.

“I’m sure, by now, that you’ve heard about the Dark Lord.” Regulus said.

Amaryllis just nodded having heard some of the older students talking about it in the common room. She’d seen all her friends, the guys anyway, talking to the group that was discussing it. She was unsure as to wear this conversation was leading although she was mildly worried.

“Well they want me to join his cause.” Regulus explained. “I said I would think about it. I wanted to talk to you but they didn’t want me to.”

“So that’s what that was about.” She said realising the way his words had been phrased. “So the whole ‘We want the same things. Both of us do.’ was about me.”

“Yeah, they didn’t think I should talk to you about it.” He said. “They don’t think girls are strong enough to support the cause which I find strange considering Bella’s one of them.”

“She is?” Amaryllis asked.

“Yeah, her and Rodolphus joined and I’m sure Rabastan has too.” Regulus said. “Lucius has as well.”

“Do you want to?” She asked him.

Regulus considered this for a while. He’d always wanted to join them. He knew Amaryllis had seen his support for the cause those few times she had snuck into his room to talk to him. It was obvious that she was going to follow him if he decided to join. He just worried that she didn’t know the extent of what they would do after joining.

“I don’t need to answer that.” He eventually told her.

“I wanted to hear you say it.” She said. “I’ve seen your room so don’t try to lie to me. I know what you believe. So answer me this; do you wish to join the Dark Lord?”

“Yes.” He responded.

“So tell me Regulus, based on my story how closely would what I want align with what the Dark Lord wants?” She asked him.

“Almost completely.” He told her.

“Then I don’t see why you were worried.” She told him getting up from her spot on the bed.

Without looking back she walked towards the door and left the room leaving Regulus to sit in his thoughts. After she’d left he still stared at the door.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He said voicing his fears for the first time even though no one could hear what he had to say.


	10. Once Upon a Nightmare

The school year had ended and both Regulus and Amaryllis were back at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. While both of them were glad to be back in the townhouse they were also a little upset that they could no longer spend time together as easily.

Walburga had been on both their cases about maintaining a proper image. She had been keeping a close eye on Amaryllis making sure that the girl wasn’t doing anything that could be perceived as improper for a girl of her age.

Amaryllis had been acting exactly as she had been told. There was none of the small drops of character than she sometimes had while at Hogwarts. While at Grimmauld Place she was the perfect pureblood girl.

After informing Evan of their wish to join the Dark Lord Regulus and Amaryllis were directed to speak to Rabastan.

Rabastan was not surprised when he saw Amaryllis beside Regulus. After suspecting something between the two months earlier he had guessed that Regulus would consult Amaryllis about his decision and Amaryllis being the person she was would stand beside him.

Rabastan had been the one to inform the Dark Lord of their interest in his cause. While Regulus had obviously been on the Dark Lord’s watchlist he’d been curious about Amaryllis having only heard of her in passing comments. The fact that they were both prepared to join him made him curious as to what there was with this mysterious girl.

They were a few days in to the summer break when both Regulus and Amaryllis received letters requesting their presence at a meeting. Upon seeing her letter Amaryllis went straight to Regulus’ room to see if he got one two. They met in the hallway having both had the same idea. Upon seeing the piece of parchment clutched in the other’s hand neither said anything. They just looked at one another knowingly.

It was later that day that they decided they needed to inform both of Regulus’ parents about what they had done and what was expected of them.

That night at dinner they each sat in their seats. Regulus had long ago assumed Sirius’ seat when he began to disgrace the Black name and Sirius had been placed in Regulus’ old seat. When Sirius had up and left the previous summer Amaryllis had been told to take the seat Sirius had been in, Regulus’ original seat. She had, up until then, been sitting in another empty seat at the table which was not part of an assumed position in the house.

As they ate in silence they Amaryllis and Regulus attempted to have a silent conversation with one another using only their expressions. Eventually Regulus decided it was time to speak up.

“Mother, Father, both Amaryllis and I would like to inform you that we have been invited to a meeting with the Dark Lord.” Regulus said having fallen back into the proper way of speaking upon seeing his mother’s tight lipped expression at the station.

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Walburga said smiling at the two.

It was the first real emotion Amaryllis had seen from the woman, aside from the anger directed at Sirius that was. She was surprised by the smile she was receiving. She didn’t realise the support she was going to receive for this leaving her rather shocked.

“When is this meeting?” Orion Black asked.

This was the first time Amaryllis had ever been involved in a conversation with Regulus’ father. There had never been anything for her to converse with him about last break and now that she had the chance to she felt rather nervous. Regulus gave her an encouraging look urging her to tell his parents about their letters.

“The meeting is on Tuesday.” Amaryllis said.

Regulus smiled at her. He could tell she was nervous about speaking to his parents together.

“Bellatrix and Rodolphus are coming to collect us as neither of us can apparate as of yet and we have also not been informed of the location.” Regulus explained.

He thought it best to tell his parents of the expected guests. That way it wouldn’t come as a shock when they arrived on Tuesday. Although, Amaryllis was fairly certain that Walburga would know why those two specifically had come to the house.

Walburga remained smiling throughout the rest of the meal although the conversation died after that. Orion seemed mildly happier than he had been at the start of the meal although his happiness wasn’t as evident as his wife’s.

* * *

It was the middle of the day when Bellatrix and Rodolphus arrived at Grimmauld Place to collect Amaryllis and Regulus. The two sixteen-year-olds were nervous. They didn’t know what to expect.

Amaryllis had taken to ranking her apparation trips. Currently Narcissa was the best. She was so soft and it wasn’t too terrible to travel with her. After this trip she would place Bellatrix in the middle. While it was rather rough it still wasn’t the worst. Travelling with Walburga was awful. The whole experience made her feel sick. Even thinking about it made her fear she might lose her last meal.

When they arrived at the location Regulus and Rodolphus were already there waiting out the front. Regulus sent her a small smile of encouragement. They knew they needed to be strong to stand in front of this man.

The door to the giant manor in front of them opened. They weren’t sure as to where they were. It seemed strange. The manor was nothing like the Malfoy Manor that Amaryllis remember from the Christmas Ball. It had some sort of normalcy that Amaryllis remembered from her old life.

They entered a large room. Regulus knew it much be the Drawing Room. Amaryllis had no such knowledge.

At the front of the room stood a man who looked one part handsome and four parts terrifying. He stood in front of everyone towering over the group, which he would have done even if he wasn’t standing on a small raised section at the front of the room.

His skin was pale, paler than anyone Amaryllis had ever seen before, making the contrast between his skin and his dark hair even greater. His eyes, which stared into everyone who stood before him, appeared bloodshot. There was no deny that this was the Dark Lord.

“Welcome.” He said in loud smooth voice.

Any small conversations that had been occurring between the small groups ceased immediately. No one dared say anything.

Amaryllis and Regulus were on the edge of the group. They weren’t sure where they were meant to stand and therefore had taken to following Bellatrix and Rodolphus although, not to the inner circle.

“My Lord, we have brought with us Regulus Black, heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, and his betrothed, Amaryllis Merrin.” Bellatrix told the Dark Lord.

Upon hearing this Regulus turned to glare at Amaryllis who tried her hardest to avoid his gaze. He was mad and she knew it. She really didn’t want to talk about this here.

“Come forward.” He said to the teenagers.

Regulus pushed aside the fact that she had in fact lied to him, the two of them stepped forward. As they reached the spot in front of him where he willed them to stand they bowed knowing that it was probably the best thing for them to do in that situation.

“You wish you join us.” He stated.

“Yes, My Lord.” They both said.

The Dark Lord looked over the teenagers. The boy was of a noble house. The would one day be joined to him. They could provide an heir for the House of Black. It would be useful to have them on his side. He looked over at one of his followers who walked out of the room and came back dragging a girl after him.

When Amaryllis noticed who it was she tried her hardest not to gasp. She knew who the girl was. Of course she would recoginse her. After nearly a year of being in a place you begin to recoginse the people who reside there. The girl who was thrown on the floor before was a Hufflepuff girl in their year, Lindy Wilson.

Regulus took a hold of Amaryllis’ hand knowing she hadn’t expect this. He felt bad now for not informing her of what they would actually be getting themselves into.

“You know this girl?” The Dark Lord asked them, even though he knew they did. As he spoke he glanced down at Lindy in disgust.

“She is in our year at Hogwarts.” Amaryllis said knowing that if there was anyone she shouldn’t lie to it was this man in front of her. “Although she is in Hufflepuff.”

Knowing how she was expected to act she had added the girl’s house with a tone that showed her disapproval. The Dark Lord looked approvingly at her showing his approval of her tone.

“This Mudblood, along with many others, is polluting the Wizarding population.” He told the teenagers.

They both watched waiting for them to be told to speak. After watching them for a moment it seemed to Amaryllis that he was waiting for something.

“Where I’m from the Mudbloods are not part of the community.” She told him firmly. “However we did have one mistake. We let them live freely. They destroyed my family. I hold all Mudbloods accountable.”

A strange smile appeared on the Dark Lord’s face. He was looking at Amaryllis. What she didn’t know was that he was searching mind looking for any shred of doubt in her words. After a moment he stopped searching. A teenage girl’s mind was not a place he found very pleasant to be in.

He watched both Amaryllis and Regulus for a while. They stood in front of him not saying anything. She had said all she felt she needed to say.

Amaryllis watched as he turned away from them and sent a curse towards Lindy who by this point was whimpering on the floor. Even Amaryllis, who had been a compassionate person, was starting to become irritated at the noise. The curse silenced the girl. Amaryllis watched in horror as her body slumped over without any more sound or movement. She knew then that the Lindy Wilson was dead.

After that both Regulus and Amaryllis were intrusted to move closer to the Dark Lord one at a time. Amaryllis was called forward first. When she stepped up she was asked to present her left arm. She loosened the cuff of her shirt and pushed the sleeve up past her elbow extending her arm out to the man in front of her.

He took hold of it and pressed his wand to her arm. A burning pain seared through her arm. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in an attempt to not cry out in pain. Eventually it stopped leaving only a light burning in her arm.

As she looked down at it, her eyes watering slightly from the intense pain, she saw a vivid red mark. The mark on her arm was a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth. She found it intricate design and detailing of the mark strangely beautiful. She stepped back when she was told however her gaze didn’t lift from her arm.

Regulus stepped forward following after Amaryllis. As he was marked he struggled to control his reaction to the pain the way she had. He let out a small cry of pain causing Amaryllis to look up from her arm at him. Although she wished to run forward to help him she knew better and stayed back in her place.

When he was sent back to stand beside her once again she reached over and grabbed his hand giving it a small squeeze of support. He gave her a glance and a small smile.

They stepped back into the small crowd and listened throughout the rest of the meeting, their hands still joined, without saying another word. After the meeting was over Bellatrix and Rodolphus took them back to Grimmauld Place where, unfortunately for Amaryllis, all hell broke loose.

“You lied to me.” Regulus yelled at Amaryllis having dragged her to her room and slammed the door closed.

Amaryllis didn’t know it but he had gotten Kreacher to silence the room and stay on guard to warn him if his mother was coming.

“I didn’t lie.” She defended. “I just manipulated the facts to keep you from figuring it out.”

“You lied to me.” He said. “When I asked if the boy you were betrothed to knew about it you said you didn’t know when you obviously knew that I was oblivious. That’s not manipulating the facts. That’s called lying Amaryllis.”

“I couldn’t have you figuring it out or assuming anything.” She explained. “If your mother had found out I didn’t follow her instructions then what would have happened?”

“You would have said I figured it out on my own.” He told her through gritted teeth. “Or that the one person who you had confided in had told me.”

“I was unaware of the fact that you were supposed to be informed about everything.” She explained. “Why can’t you just accept that I made a mistake with this? Let’s just move on. It’s not going to do us any good to be fighting.”

Regulus looked her over. Amaryllis was obviously feeling guilty. She hadn’t wanted to lie to him.

“Are you sure it wasn’t just some ploy to try to get out of it?” He asked her.

“Is that what you think?” She responded. “If I wanted out I would have told you.”

The two glared at one another. It was clear that neither of them had actually decided what they wanted, not that they had much choice in the overall matter.

“Maybe we should try to find other people.” He suggested.

“What?” She asked.

“We should try to date other purebloods.” He said.

Amaryllis just stared in shock. Regulus didn’t want to marry her.

“If that’s what you really want.” She said. “I’ll give it a go. Perhaps then you’ll get your wish and we won’t have to marry. Wouldn’t want to force you to be stuck with me when you didn’t want to.”

“You know I don’t mean it like that Amy.” He said.

“Sometimes I don’t know what you mean at all.” She told him. “Now leave. I need some time alone.”

Regulus didn’t say anything. It was clear to him that she was mad. He didn’t want to do anything else to cross her. He knew it was the worst thing he could do at that moment and there was no way he was risking her anger.

After leaving her room he headed back to his room. He wondered if he’d made the right choice. She did lie to him. He was only thinking rationally. He didn’t want to marry someone who could lie with such ease and would use it against him.

Then thinking over it again, he didn’t know if he wanted to marry anyone else. But he was doing this for her. There were better options for her than him. She would find someone who actually loved her because he knew that was what she wanted.


	11. Break In

The rest of the holidays after the initial meeting with the Dark Lord saw a rift form and deepen between Amaryllis and Regulus. While the two of them had previously been close and would share everything with one another the argument over the betrothal had caused neither of them to want to speak with the other.

Walburga had been completely oblivious to all that was going on with the teenagers opting to maintain the fact that the two were going to be married once they were out of Hogwarts. She had continued her lessons with Amaryllis even though she no longer needed them as the girl had learned how she was expected to act and had learnt how to assess a situation and act accordingly.

There were still some things that Walburga said that Amaryllis was not able to understand but she had taken to writing to Corbin to ask any of her questions as she had done with the question about betrothals.

Corbin was surprised by the infrequent letters he was receiving from Amaryllis. He hadn’t thought the two of them were close. He had assumed that the one time she had asked him something had been a one off. But he was wrong and now he was wondering what could have happened between her and Regulus that caused her to not want to speak to him.

As they sat on the train heading to Hogwarts for the start of their sixth year neither Amaryllis or Regulus would look at the other or say anything. When Timothy and Corbin joined them Corbin took the seat beside Amaryllis as he knew that she would not want to sit beside Regulus.

“Are you going to explain to me what happened?” Corbin asked Amaryllis.

Timothy looked over. He was unaware that Corbin had any idea about the fight between Amaryllis and Regulus. Timothy had seen the lack of communication between the two and wondered if something that happened however until Corbin’s question he hadn’t been certain.

“Turns out she can lie to me.” Regulus stated sending a glare at the girl.

“He found out.” Amaryllis said softly tugging at her left sleeve.

Noticing her action Regulus sent her another glare as if to say, ‘don’t do that.’

“Walburga?” Corbin questioned.

“Bellatrix.” Amaryllis muttered.

“Someone explain to me what’s going on.” Timothy said to the group not understanding what was happening.

They all just looked at the confused boy. Amaryllis didn’t want to say anything. Corbin didn’t think it was his place to tell. So Regulus spoke.

“You know that guy Merrin was going to marry?” Regulus asked Timothy who just nodded thinking it best not to say anything. “Yeah, well, mother wanted the girl she was training to marry her son.”

Timothy was surprised by this yet he couldn’t see how this was causing such a big argument between the two.

“I don’t get why you’re so angry about all this.” Amaryllis snapped at Regulus. “If you’re going to mad at anyone it should be your mother.”

“You lied to me.” He told her.

“I did what I was told.” She responded. “Tell me Regulus, how many times have you directly disobeyed your mother?”

There was a moment of silence everyone staring expectantly at Regulus.

“Exactly my point.” She said breaking the silence and slumping into a seat in a manner that would have had Walburga Black shrieking. “So don’t you dare be on my case about that.”

“Don’t interact with Sirius.” Regulus said after a short pause. “Treat him as you treat all other Mudbloods and Halfbreeds.”

“What?” Amaryllis asked him.

“That’s what she told me.” He said. “Before I met you.”

Amaryllis stared in shock. If he had listened to his mother they never would have met.

“I’m going to go change.” She said standing up and grabbing the small bag containing her clothes.

She walked out of the compartment and headed in the direction of the toilets and she knew she had tears in her eyes. It was too much to think about.

“Amaryllis, wait.” She heard someone call from behind her.

She knew exactly who it was and she really didn’t want to talk to him right now. She didn’t care how much he wanted to talk to her there was no way she was letting him see her this way.

“Amy, wait.” He called stopping her in her tracks.

No one but Regulus called her Amy so why was Corbin doing it now? Why had he even come after her at all?

“What do you want Corbin?” She asked weakly.

“Are you alright?” He asked her.

Amaryllis looked at Corbin the glanced around before dragging him into the toilets and locking the door. She really didn’t want other people to hear what she had to say. She found it embarrassing.

“I don’t know at the moment.” She said. “Everything is just so confusing and I have no idea what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?” He asked her.

“He’s mad at me for not telling him the truth when he knows why I didn’t.” She explained. “We spend most of the summer not talking because of it. On top of that we had to try and hide it all from Walburga. And to put the finishing touches on it all he told me we should see other people. He broke up with me when we weren’t even together.”

During her rant some of her tears had escaped and were running down her cheeks. She’d never felt so weak and vulnerable before.

“He doesn’t want me.” She said coming to the realisation causing even more tears to fall. “I don’t even know who he wants, all I know is it’s not me.”

She reached up to wipe her tears away but before she could another set of thumbs wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Then Regulus is thinking straight.” Corbin whispered his face now rather close hers.

She hadn’t realised they were so close. She had been so focused on trying to hold herself together that she hadn’t been paying attention to how close he was getting. The two just stared at one another before Corbin leaned down and placed his lips on hers.

She’d always wondered if something like this would happen. The two of them had been growing closer since the time she had pulled him aside. She considered them rather good friends especially after all the letter they exchanged over the break. And though she wondered if this would happen she was still shocked by the action.

Regardless of her shock she still kissed him back wrapped her arms around his neck. He moved his hands down from her face to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her closer.

Neither knew how long the kiss lasted.

Eventually they pulled apart and just stared at one another. Neither knew what to say. There wasn’t anything really too say. They weren’t sure if they had been caught up in the moment or if it meant something more.

Amaryllis wondered what would happen. This was not the image that Walburga had so carefully crafted for her. She was not acting as she was expected to. The girl she was supposed to be would not have spent a couple minutes kissing one of her closest friends.

Corbin was worried as to what Regulus might do to him. He knew that even though Regulus had told her that he wanted them to see other people, he was still going to be wildly overprotective when it came to her. Corbin wasn’t sure if he would fit the image of the person Regulus wanted for her.

“What now?” She asked removing her arms from around his neck and untangling herself from his arms to allow herself to take a step back from him.

“What do you want?” He asked her as he too took a step back creating an even larger gap between them.

“I have no idea.” She said with a small chuckle. 

“Neither do I.” He responded.

“Well I still need to get changed.” She said after a moments silence. “And the others will probably be wondering where you went.”

“Yeah, I should head back.” He said. “You’ll join us again, won’t you?”

Amaryllis just smiled at him and nodded. She didn’t see where else she could go as she had no idea where Lucinda would be sitting. But she wasn’t about to tell Corbin that that was the reason she was going to go back to the compartment he was in.

“I’ll just head back then.” He said turning to unlock the door so he could leave while she got changed.

As he reached the door Amaryllis moved quickly over to him and placed a light peck on his lips before he could leave. He gave her one final smile before leaving. As soon as he shut the door she locked it again and leant against it a silly smile forming on her face.

She stood like that for a while. She wasn’t sure how long she stood staring into space just thinking about what had happened. Eventually she snapped herself out of her daze and quickly got changed in hopes of getting back to the compartment and not leaving Corbin alone to face their questions by himself.

When Corbin arrived back at the compartment the others stared at him. He had been gone a lot longer than any of them had originally anticipated leading Timothy and Regulus to suspect something might have happened. Though they weren’t sure what could have happened they did have some ideas and none were very savoury.

As he sat down his mind was still racing. He was thinking about what had happened between him and Amaryllis. He knew what was expected of her and what she was intended to do yet he couldn’t shake the thought of what had happened between them. For some reason he could help but wonder that maybe she would follow Regulus’ request. That maybe she might try and see other people.

“Oi, Wilkes, we asked you a question.” Timothy snapped at their friend.

“Sorry, what was that?” Corbin asked having been so absorbed by his thoughts that he had missed what was asked of him.

“Something’s messed with his head.” Timothy muttered to Regulus who just chuckled at the statement.

“I asked what happened with Merrin.” Regulus told Corbin.

“She was upset.” Corbin said vaguely. “She just needed someone to talk to.”

Regulus and Timothy watched his face for any sign that he was attempting to mislead them. The thing was, everything Corbin had said was true. He hadn’t lied to his friends. He had just chosen not to tell them about the other thing that had happened.

Corbin needn’t have stressed about what else his friends would ask of him about the situation as Amaryllis arrived at the compartment.

“Oh nothing.” Corbin told her.

“Just Corbin daydreaming.” Regulus pointed out.

Amaryllis just smirked and took her seat beside Corbin.

“What do you know about it?” Timothy asked her suspiciously.

“Depends what you’re asking about.” She responded smoothly. “I know a fair bit about some things but not much about others.”

A collection of puzzled looks reached her. They had no idea what she was talking about which was exactly what Amaryllis had wanted.

Timothy and Regulus dropped their suspicions surrounding Corbin and Amaryllis however Regulus didn’t miss any of the glances the two sent at the other.

Regulus had wanted to question her when Corbin had gone to get changed. Both Timothy and Regulus had changed while Amaryllis and Corbin otherwise occupied meaning Corbin had to go change once they were further along in the trip.

When Regulus had so much as looked at her as if to question anything she sent him the sharpest glare she manage causing him to shrink back into his seat and decided against questioning her. Pleased with the effect she’d had on him, Amaryllis smiled to herself and pulled out her book to keep herself occupied for the rest of the train ride.

* * *

“You have to tell me what happened.” Lucinda said to Amaryllis as they sat together in the Great Hall.

They were at the ‘Welcome Back Feast’ and the two girls had sat together having found one another when they got to their house table. Lucinda had noticed the hate-filled glares that were being shared between Amaryllis and Regulus. Lucinda, who wasn’t anywhere near as dense as many of the others at school seemed to be, had immediately noticed the shift in their relationship and wanted answers.

“I’ll tell you later.” Amaryllis responded. “It’s not exactly the sort of thing I want broadcasted to everyone. Although I’m sure Marianne would be absolutely over the moon at the news.”

“Merlin, what happened?” Lucinda gasped.

“Later Lu.” Amaryllis told her younger friend.

The two girls sat and ate in silence. Amaryllis felt someone watching her. When she looked in the direction she felt the gaze coming from her eyes met the dark hazel eyes that belonged to Corbin. The two of them smiled at one another.

“Okay, surely you can tell me what that was about.” Lucinda said.

“I may or may not have kissed Corbin while on the train.” Amaryllis admitted a blush spreading across her face.

“You did not.” The younger girl gasped.

Amaryllis just nodded looking down at the food in front of her.

“How was it?” Lucinda asked.

“Good, I guess.” Amaryllis answered becoming rather shy with this topic of conversation. “I don’t really have anything to compare it to.”

“Wait, that was your first kiss?” Lucinda nearly squealed.

“Yeah, it was.” Amaryllis said.

Lucinda just stared at the older girl beside her. 

“Corbin Wilkes was your first kiss?” Lucinda attempted to confirm.

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” Amaryllis responded.

Lucinda just shook her head at her friend. Her innocence in this situation was rather amusing.

“Can we not talk about this?” Amaryllis eventually asked. “I really don’t want any of the other guys finding out.”

“Wait, hold on.” Lucinda said ignoring Amaryllis’ other comment. “What about the guy you’re betrothed to?”

“He found out about it.” Amaryllis explained. “Got mad at me for lying. Then told me we should see other people.”

“You’re joking right?” Lucinda asked. “Who would do that?”

“I’m dead serious.” Amaryllis said. “And two guesses as to who it was.”

“Wait, is that why you’re fighting with Regulus?” Lucinda asked.

“You’ve hit the nail on the head.” Amaryllis said.

Lucinda just stared at her. Amaryllis figured that mustn’t be a statement used in the Wizarding World. She just shrugged it off. Lucinda gathered what Amaryllis had meant by her statement.

The two girls ate in silence for a moment. There wasn’t anything to be said. Lucinda was trying to process why exactly Regulus was being so difficult when it came to the whole situation. It was obvious to nearly everyone that there was something more than friendship between Amaryllis and Regulus. So why was he pushing her away?

“I just don’t understand.” Lucinda said after a short silence.

Amaryllis turned to look at her friend. She didn’t know what there was to be confused about. Regulus didn’t want her. He said specifically that he wanted them to see other people. Why was that so confusing?

“What don’t you understand?” Amaryllis asked.

“You two were so close.” Lucinda explained. “Everyone already believed you were more than just friends. I imagine that’s why Marianne and Scarlett dislike you so much.”

“There was never anything between us.” Amaryllis corrected. “We were always just friends.”

“Well I think you two were the only ones who saw it that way.” Lucinda said.

Amaryllis was confused. Nothing about her friendship with Regulus had made her think it was or could be perceived as anything more. It was absolutely nothing like any of the relationships she had seen at her old high school. It was nothing like any of the relationships she had seen around Hogwarts. Perhaps it was the way pureblood relationships worked but Amaryllis just couldn’t see herself viewing their friendship as anything more than that.

Amaryllis chose not to comment. There wasn’t anything she could think to say. She decided it was probably best to just finish her dinner and move on from this.


	12. Happier

After dinner Amaryllis had gone straight up to her dorm wanting to avoid both Corbin and Regulus. She knew it probably wasn’t right to be avoiding Corbin right then but she was too scared to talk about what had happened. Avoiding Regulus was a given. She’d been doing that since their meeting with the Dark Lord. Since he’d told her they should find other people.

She had climbed straight onto her bed, pulling out a book and drawing the drapes around her, when she had arrived in her dorm, not wanting to have to interact with the other girls. There was no way they would let this go when they found out.

“You know, I heard the funniest thing during the feast.” Marianne said as she and two other sets of footsteps entered the dorm. “Apparently Merrin was betrothed to Regulus Black.”

Amaryllis just rolled her eyes. Obviously they’d be unimpressed with it. They were positively irritating when it came to anything to do with Regulus.

“Why would he agree to that?” Anna Parkinson, a girl from Lucinda’s dorm, asked.

“I don’t think he had a choice.” Marianne said. “From what I heard that letter Merrin got last year detailed the entire thing and she hid it from Regulus because she didn’t want him to feel ashamed of being stuck with her.”

Amaryllis tried her hardest not to groan. At least they were making her sound considerate. Even if they were getting all the facts wrong.

“He’s just lucky Bellatrix told him before he had to actually marry her.” Marianne continued. “He must have been so distraught. That explains why she broke it off.”

“She broke it off?” Scarlett asked with a squeal.

“She’s trying to anyway.” Marianne said. “I think he feels bad for her and is trying to make her stay so at least she can end up somewhere in life.”

Amaryllis had heard enough. They were getting everything so wrong. They were making her seem like a terrible person, which was normal for them anyway, but they were also twisting facts to make her sound like she wasn’t worthy of anyone’s attention.

She got out of her bed and glared at the girls.

“You know nothing.” She snapped at them. “Sure some of what you’re saying might have some basis in truth but a lot of it is all just codswallop.”

Marianne, Scarlett and Anna just stared at her.

“Okay, so let me get my facts straight.” Marianne said to Amaryllis after a moments silence. “You’re betrothed you Regulus Black?”

Amaryllis just nodded not trusting herself to say anything.

“Yet for some reason you’re trying to break that off?” Anna asked.

Amaryllis didn’t react. There wasn’t anything she could think to say. It wasn’t her choice to try to break it off yet she couldn’t see these girls believing her. She also found Marianne rather irritating and didn’t want to be talking to her.

“Are you daft?” Scarlett asked.

“I wouldn’t think I am.” Amaryllis told them.

“You have the perfect opportunity to be a part of the most important pureblood family yet for some reason you seem to think you’re too good for that.” Marianne expressed.

“It’s not a matter of what I think.” Amaryllis explained. “He’s the one who suggested it. Clearly hearing it from Bellatrix wasn’t the way he wanted to find out.”

“Or maybe he’s just using that as an excuse to get out of the ridiculous arrangement.” Anna suggested.

Amaryllis let out a sigh before coming up the perfect idea.

“Anna, what would you say to swapping dorms?” Amaryllis suggested. “You seem to get along with Marianne and Scarlett a lot better than I do.”

Anna just stared at Amaryllis for a moment before a smirk appeared on her face.

“Sure.” Anna said.

“We should go speak to Professor Slughorn about it.” Amaryllis said. “I’m sure he will be able to help us.”

Anna just rolled her eyes clearly unimpressed with the thought of having to speak to a teacher. Amaryllis wasn’t thrilled about having to speak to a teacher either but she knew it would make her life a whole lot easier if she just did it.

* * *

“How’d you manage to get them to agree to this?” Lucinda asked Amaryllis as the older girl began setting up her stuff in the younger girl’s dorm.

It hadn’t taken long to convince Slughorn to let them swap dorms. Amaryllis was decent enough at potions as it reminded her of one of the lessons she use to take before her life had changed meaning Slughorn liked her considerably more than some of the other students. She thought that fact that she was taking N.E.W.T. potions might have also helped with his view of her.

“They want to gossip, I don’t.” Amaryllis admitted. “Also I overheard them talking about the thing with Regulus, getting all the facts wrong, mind you.”

“We get to share a dorm for two years.” Lucinda squealed. “I’m so excited.”

“Well, unless Walburga marries me off and I have to move rooms.” Amaryllis pointed out.

Lucinda flopped on her bed while Amaryllis sat down softly on hers. Amaryllis wondered if sharing with Lucinda would be any better than sharing with the other girls. She seemed almost as excitable, if not more. Se supposed that since she actually liked Lucinda it would probably be better.

“Which do you prefer?” Lucinda asked causing Amaryllis to send her a confused looked.

“What exactly do you mean?” Amaryllis asked her.

“Amaryllis Black or Amaryllis Wilkes.” Lucinda said as stared at the ceiling.

Amaryllis dropped the put together front that she was holding up and hit Lucinda in the face with her pillow. She really didn’t want to think about marriage. Not right at that moment anyway. It still seemed so surreal that people just expected that she’d be married before she was twenty. That wasn’t how she was used to things being done.

“I’m not getting married.” Amaryllis defended.

“Not yet anyway.” Lucinda laughed.

Amaryllis just groaned. She didn’t want to talk about it. She just wanted to be a teenager.

“Well I’m going to get changed.” Amaryllis said picking some clothes out of her trunk and heading towards the bathroom. “I can’t stand being in this uniform any longer.”

Although she trusted Lucinda she wasn’t sure how the younger girl would react to the mark on her arm. She had taken care to only bring clothes with long sleeves with her this year and she had sworn to herself that throughout the entirety of the year she wasn’t going to change anywhere but the bathroom so she was alone.

There was no way she could risk someone seeing her mark. Well, someone he didn’t already know about it and support her decision in getting it anyway.

“You know it’s just us.” Lucinda said as Amaryllis walked towards the bathroom. “You don’t have to.”

“I’d feel more comfortable.” Amaryllis said knowing that it was the truth.

Lucinda just nodded as Amaryllis headed over to the bathroom.

* * *

Regulus wasn’t daft. He’d noticed Corbin watching Amaryllis throughout the feast he just couldn’t work out why. The other thing he couldn’t work out was why it gave him a funny feeling knowing that Amaryllis would sometimes meet Corbin’s gaze, smile at him, and turn away a slight red tinge to her cheeks.

If Corbin had done anything to her he might just have to do something to him. Corbin wasn’t worthy of her. Corbin didn’t deserve to be the one to make her smile.

Regulus shook himself out of his thoughts. Her doing anything shouldn’t be bothering him. He’d blown her off. He’d told her to find someone else. And here she was doing exactly that, and he was plotting ways to destroy his friend for even looking in her direction. What was wrong with him?

“Either you stop it with those strange glances at Amaryllis that you did for the entirety of the feast or you explain what is going on.” Timothy told Corbin after the three of them had gotten to the dorm.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Corbin said as he lay down on his bed.

“We both noticed them.” Regulus said. “What’s going on with you and Amy?”

“I kissed her.” Corbin said with a shrug.

Regulus was shocked. He didn’t know what to say. Corbin having kissed Amaryllis was bugging him more than he wished to admit.

He wondered if she’d held back from anything with Corbin the previous year because of him and their betrothal or if she was only doing this now because of how he’d treated her. It had never been intention to hurt her. Never. Yet it seemed that’s what he’d done.

“But isn’t she betrothed to you?” Timothy asked Regulus.

Regulus didn’t respond. They all knew the answer. He just wasn’t able to admit to his friends what he’d told her.

“He told her to find someone else.” Corbin said sitting up in his bed and looking over at Timothy before turning to look at Regulus. “So she did.”

“I didn’t mean for her to go crawling to you.” Regulus snapped.

“She was crying.” Corbin shouted at Regulus standing up. “She doesn’t tell me much but what I do know is that you’ve really hurt her feelings. She felt awful hiding everything from you. That’s why she kept avoiding you. She didn’t want to have to lie.”

“She still did.” Regulus shouted back at him.

“Amy is all alone.” Corbin responded shocking both Timothy and Regulus by his use of her nickname. The name solely reserved for Regulus’ use. “Her whole life was thrown upside and she thought she could trust you. When she was told to keep something from you it tore her apart. She was so worried about how you would react when you found out, if you would still care enough about her. I always told her you’d realise that she had to. I guess I was wrong about you.”

Regulus stared at his friend. He hadn’t expected Corbin to be like this. Regulus knew that Corbin and Amaryllis had grown close but he never expected him to act this way in her defence.

“How would you feel if everyone around you knew the direction your life was being planned while you were kept completely in the dark?” Regulus asked Corbin.

“How would you feel if your whole life you’d dreamed of finding a love like in fairy tales only to have that dream taken away from you and being forced to marry someone?” Corbin retorted. “What if that person was your friend until the moment they found out about the arrangement leaving you all alone? What would you do then?”

Corbin didn’t wait for Regulus’ answer. He stormed out of the dorm not wanting to hear Regulus talk about Amaryllis anymore.

“Do you think…” Timothy started to ask before Regulus cut him off.

“Not now Timothy.” Regulus said as he got into his bed and drew the drapes around himself.

Regulus didn’t want to think about what Corbin had said. It was all too much. He worried about what both he and Amaryllis had gotten themselves into. He knew there was going to be death. He didn’t know how many of them would die but it was going to happen.

His biggest fear was not returning from a mission and leaving her alone. He was terrified of that happening. Especially if there was a child involved as well. Regulus knew his mother. He knew she would expect them to start having children almost immediately. Walburga wanted the Black family to continue. That’s why he didn’t want to get married.

By pushing Amaryllis away Regulus hoped that maybe she would find someone who wouldn’t leave her behind. By pushing her away he hoped that she would be able to find the love he knew she craved. He could only hope that she wouldn’t hate him for doing that.

* * *

Corbin had no idea what he was doing or where he was going when he stormed out of the dorm. Everything Regulus was saying made sense. Corbin could see how Regulus was thinking about things. He just didn’t understand why Regulus couldn’t take a step back and see how Amaryllis was feeling about everything.

Surely Regulus had to know that this was hurting her. Surely he had to. They were supposed to be best friends. Why wouldn’t he see what he was doing by pushing her away?

Corbin let out a sigh as he sat down on one of the couches in the common room. He wasn’t sure what he was doing he just didn’t want to be in the dorm right then.

“Corbin?” He heard someone ask him.

He turned his head to see Amaryllis. She had changed out of her uniform and had a much broader smile on her face than he had seen at all throughout the day.

“Amy, hi.” He said shuffling over so she could sit beside him.

“What are you doing down here?” She asked him.

“I could ask you the same question.” He said with a small laugh.

“I asked first.” She responded.

He let out a little chuckle before responding.

“I didn’t want to be in the dorm right now.” He explained. “There was too much arguing.”

“Why didn’t you try to stop it?” She asked.

“I couldn’t calm down.” He said. He hadn’t wanted to admit he was arguing with someone, but he couldn’t see any way out of it. “Everything he said was so logical. But it was also so one sided. It was like he didn’t care.”

“Are you going to tell me what it was about?” She asked in hopes of finding out what had actually been going on with the boys.

She had noticed that they didn’t argue very often so when they did it ended up being rather a big deal.

“Just guy stuff.” He responded vaguely before turning the question on her. “So tell me. Why are you down here?”

“Lucinda was starting to drive me crazy.” Amaryllis admitted. “She’s a good friend but sometimes she just doesn’t know when to stop.”

Corbin looked confused. He didn’t think she shared a dorm with Lucinda with the girls being in separate years.

“I swapped dorms with Anna Parkinson.” Amaryllis explained. “We thought it would be best. She doesn’t get along with Lucinda and I don’t get along with Marianne.”

He just nodded in response not having any to say.

“I’m glad you were down here.” She said shuffling around so her whole body faced him. “I wanted to talk to you, without the others around I mean.”

“What about?” Corbin asked although he was pretty sure he already knew what it was she wanted to talk about.

“What are we?” She asked him.

“What do you want us to be?” He responded.

Amaryllis just rolled her eyes and gave him a shove. He knew she didn’t like that question so what good would come of him asking it again?

“Corbin, please be serious.” She whined.

“I am.” He said. “Whatever you want I’m fine with. If you want something to actually happen, then it can. If it was just something that happened because you were sad and in need of comfort, then that’s fine too.”

“I liked it.” She responded softly after a short pause while looking down at her legs which she’d curled up underneath her in a way that would have Walburga yelling at her. “And I’d be open to actually trying something more than just the one off kiss.”

Corbin smiled at her and took her hand in his. With his other hand he lifted her head up so she would actually look at him. A soft smile spread across her face as their eyes met.

“Can I…?” He started to ask before trailing off.

She just nodded in response knowing what he had been trying to ask.

Corbin lent his head down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. As he sat up again he noticed a smile spread across her face.

“We should get some sleep.” He said.

“Yeah.” She responded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He asked hopefully.

Amaryllis just smiled. He wasn’t going to escape her that easily.

She placed another kiss on his lips before getting up and returning to her new dorm, turning around to smile at him as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

He smiled back before heading up into his dorm. He knew he had a silly grin on his face. But who could blame him?


	13. Familiar Taste of Poison

Lucinda had been positively over the moon when Amaryllis had told her about Corbin. Amaryllis was unsure as to why though as it meant the chance of Amaryllis and Regulus getting married, as they were intended to, was diminishing slightly. But only slightly.

Amaryllis was partially hoping that maybe things with Corbin would work out better than how she had left things with Regulus. Then Regulus could find some pureblood girl and they would all be happy together. Exactly how he had suggested.

But she also knew that the likelihood of that happening and everything being perfect was slim. The life of Amaryllis Merrin didn’t work like that. The world didn’t want her to live a happy life.

Amaryllis and Corbin started spending more time together without their friends, in places that other people could see them of course. She was still trying to follow Walburga’s rules after all. They enjoyed spending time together. At first it had been a little strange, awkward at times, but slowly it had become more natural. They were both happy.

Regulus was not thrilled to hear about their relationship. Once again he was mad at himself for pushing her away. But he was discovering that the one thing he wanted more than anything was for her to be happy. That was the one thing in the forefront of his mind. He wanted her to be happy.

The world around them seemed to be moving faster than they liked. Nearly two months had passed since they came back to Hogwarts yet it felt as though they had only arrived the previous day. Amaryllis could feel herself moving without thinking. It was like her brain no longer needed it to tell her what to do. She was just travelling on autopilot.

Due to the developments over the summer Amaryllis and Regulus found themselves meeting in a dark classroom in the dead of night with Severus Snape and Evan Rosier every now and then. They were talking more than anything. There wasn’t anything they could do while they were still at Hogwarts. All they did was sit and await orders.

Sometimes reports about what each of them was up to at school would be taken down. The Dark Lord wanted to know how the students he had recruited were doing. It gave him a sense of pride knowing that he was recruiting intelligent people to assist his cause.

Amaryllis felt bad that she couldn’t tell Corbin about the night time meetings she was attending. She knew he worried about her and she felt bad for lying to him. That was what had gotten her into the mess with Regulus. But it wasn’t like she was allowed to tell Corbin anything. He wasn’t one of them. So technically it wasn’t her fault. Although something made her think that he wouldn’t see it like that.

Corbin knew Regulus was sneaking off at night. He had watched his friend leave the dorm every single time. The thing that bugged him the most was the night he had followed Regulus as far as the common room. Corbin had watched Regulus leaved the common room and venture out into the halls. He had no problems with that. Regulus could do as he pleased.

The problems started when soon after Regulus had left he saw Amaryllis sneak out after him. Corbin didn’t know what to think. She had said the only person she couldn’t lie to was Regulus and yet she had. Based on the way she’d phrased her sentence made it seem to Corbin that she had already lied to him. So there was no way he could ask her about this.

Perhaps asking Regulus would be the best option. He didn’t think Regulus was as proficient at lying as Amaryllis was. She had a natural skill that others couldn’t seem to master.

“Regulus you have some explaining to do.” Corbin said to Regulus when he re-entered the dorm after his midnight journey who knows where.

“Corbin?” Regulus asked. “What are you still doing up?”

“I know you’ve been going out at night.” Corbin admitted.

“What would make you think that?” Regulus responded.

“Don’t lie to me.” Corbin snapped. “You tell her to find someone else yet you’re meeting her in the middle of the night.”

“It’s not what you think it is.” Regulus tried. “Talk to her. She’ll tell you it’s nothing.”

“You know how she is.” Corbin said. “I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not when it comes from her.”

“Then maybe you should learn how to or find someone who you can understand.” Regulus told his friend.

Regulus lay down on his bed and pulled the drapes around his bed. He really didn’t want to talk about this. Not right now. Not until he spoke with Amaryllis.

* * *

“Corbin saw us leave last night.” Regulus told Amaryllis as she entered the room.

The two of them had snuck off to the classroom the small meetings they went to were held in. Regulus had left her a note asking if she’d meet him there. He hadn’t mentioned what it was about leaving her worried but also confused. His handwriting was instantly recognisable. The only thing she couldn’t work out was why he wanted to speak to her. No new develops had been made in their relationship so why was he trying to speak to her?

“What does he think?” She asked sitting down on an old desk beside her friend.

“He thinks we’re doing something.” Regulus phrased.

“You rejected me.” Amaryllis stated. “I’m not that pathetic. Besides, I’m happy with Corbin.”

Regulus just gave her a look. He didn’t believe her.

“I am.” She said. “Is there a problem? Because otherwise I’ll go find him.”

“I don’t want you with him.” He stated.

“Oh, so you’re allowed to say we should see other people yet when I do you get all irritated?” She snapped moving closer to him. “Do you want me to just sit alone all the time and be lonely forever? Because that’s really how you’re making it seem.”

“I want you to be happy.” He said.

“Then why can’t you let me?” She defended.

“Because Corbin isn’t good enough for you.” He shouted before putting his hand over his mouth.

Amaryllis just stared in shock. She hadn’t considered that he’d think like that.

“I’m going.” She told him as she began to leave before she stopped and turned around to face him once more as she scolded him again. “Don’t try to follow me. I don’t want anything to do with you right now.”

With that she left the classroom and went off in search of Corbin. She needed to speak to him. She wanted to see him. She couldn’t deal with what Regulus had been saying. It was all too much.

As she stepped out of the room she saw Corbin headed down towards the dungeons. Thinking it was probably the best time to catch him, before he got to the common room, she raced after him.

“Corbin.” She called out.

He turned around and let out a sigh. He stopped to wait for her.

“What is it Amy?” He asked.

“I don’t know what you saw or think happened between Regulus and I but I can promise you there’s nothing going on between us.” She told him.

Corbin considered what she’d said for a moment before turning and walking off. He didn’t want to talk to her. He couldn’t bring himself to deal with any of her lies. Not at that moment. As he walked off on her he was moving just a little bit quicker than he had been before.

Amaryllis just stood in shock. She hadn’t expected him to just walk off on her. She thought he’d at least say something. It didn’t take her long to realise he was disappearing down the hallway.

“Corbin you have to listen to me.” She yelled as she chased him. “I promise I’m not lying.”

“How can I know for certain?” He said stopping and turning around to face her. “You lie with every breath. I spend half my time worrying that you’re not who you say you are and the other half worrying that you’re just playing with me to get back at Regulus. Listen to yourself. Lying come so naturally to you that I don’t know whether or not to believe anything you say. I’m at the point where I don’t know if I know my own girlfriend or not.”

Amaryllis stopped and stared at him. He had a point. Sometimes even she couldn’t tell if she was telling the truth or not. With all the lies she had told it was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep track of them all.

“I promise there is nothing between Regulus and I.” She said. “There is merely something we are doing for his family that means I have to spend time with him. I don’t want to have to spend time with him. Not after everything he said to me.”

“I don’t believe you.” Corbin said. “I can’t believe you. Not after everything else I’ve seen.”

With that he turned and walked off. Amaryllis just stared after him. He obviously didn’t want her to follow. Did he really think she would lie about this? Clearly he did.

* * *

It had been nearly two weeks since their fight in the hallway and neither Amaryllis or Corbin had said a word to the other since that day. She had been distancing herself from Regulus and Timothy as well because of the amount of time they spent with Corbin. Due to her separation from the boy she was forced to sit with Madelyn throughout her classes.

Madelyn was nice enough. The two didn’t really talk much during classes, or before, or even after the class. They tended to just acknowledge the other’s presence and sit together. Although the two girls were slowly becoming closer.

Amaryllis had invited Madelyn to join her and Lucinda during dinner one even after seeing her old dorm mate sitting by herself. Because of this Madelyn was slowly becoming closer with both Lucinda and Amaryllis. Her initial nonchalance towards Amaryllis had merely been a method of self-preservation in case the new girl did not want to be friends with the her.

Lucinda was trying to be supportive but Amaryllis found not talking to any of the guys to be weird. She had tried to catch Corbin’s eye, make him pay attention to her but he would just avoid her gaze. He was the reason there was no interaction between the two of them.

The meetings in the dark classroom persisted. Both Evan and Severus attended every meeting they organised knowing that someone had to report back to the Dark Lord about what the students he had recruited were doing. Amaryllis tried to make it to every meeting however she found herself not wanting to go them all the time. Regulus was avoiding them if at all possible. He just really didn’t want to run into Amaryllis. Not after everything with Corbin.

Every time she would miss a meeting Evan would try to catch her in the common room or hallway in the following days to ask her why she had missed it and explain what had happened. She was pleased by this gesture. She knew he didn’t do it for Regulus. Something about it made her feel special.

Due to Evan’s persistence in informing Amaryllis about the going on in the meetings she was starting to form a friendship with him. Anytime they would see one another they would brief exchange a smile. It was nice for Amaryllis to know that even though Timothy, Corbin and Regulus were all ignoring her she was still able to make further friends. Ones that didn’t seem like they were going to act the same way.

However Amaryllis was getting to the point where she needed to talk to Corbin. She couldn’t be left wondering where their relationship stood any longer. With all the ambiguity she was worried about what people were thinking about both her and her relationship.

She had been searching for Corbin in hopes of catching him so they could actually talk about what was going on between them. She needed answers but he was avoiding her. If only she could speak to him. Then all this would be sorted out and they could return to their lives as normal.

Then it happened. The perfect opportunity.

“Corbin Wilkes, I don’t know who told you avoiding me was the best way to deal with everything but honestly it’s getting rather ridiculous.” Amaryllis yelled at Corbin as she moved quickly towards the couch he was sitting on.

They were in the middle of the common room. It had been the only place she’d actually been able to catch him. Even then she’d only been able to catch him because he hadn’t noticed her enter the room.

When he heard her shout at him he got up and quickly tried to duck out of the room. However his movements weren’t quick enough. Before he had even made it half the distance from the couch to the dormitory stairs she had jumped on his back in a fashion that would have had Walburga screeching at her.

As she landed on his back his lost his balance causing them both to topple to the ground, her on top of him.

“You have to talk to me.” She told him as she sat on his back. “You can’t avoid me forever.”

“Until I have the ability to discern whether or not you’re telling the truth I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say.” He told her.

“And how do you plan to learn that if you won’t even look at me?” She asked him.

Corbin didn’t answer. He rolled over and shoved her off his back, standing up so he could look down on her.

“You say you want to know me.” Amaryllis said standing up so he wasn’t looking down on her although the height difference between the two of them didn’t help her situation. “Yet you push me away. I don’t know how to fix this if you won’t even talk to me.”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t fix it.” He told her before continuing to the dorm.

“So that’s it then?” She called after him. “You’re just going to leave me here?”

“What do want from me?” He asked stopping and turning around to face her.

“Right now, from you I want nothing.” She said stepping closer to him again.

“Then we’re done.” He told her.

Amaryllis took another step closer to him and placed her hands on the front of his shoulders. With one shove she had pushing him to the ground. With that she disappeared into her dorm. All she wanted in that moment was to be alone. She didn’t need anyone asking her why had acted that way or what was really going on.

She hadn’t thought Corbin would be like that. She thought after everything he would at least speak to her if he was having worries or doubts. But clearly she was wrong and now it was over leaving her feeling even more alone and dejected than she had felt after Regulus.


	14. Sorry Not Sorry

Amaryllis was a little lost. She was on the train preparing to head back to London for the winter break. Neither Lucinda or Madelyn were going home for the break so she couldn’t sit with them and there was no way she was sitting with Timothy, Regulus and Corbin. Not after what happened in the common room.

After arriving to the train rather early, having skipped breakfast and said her goodbye the previous night, Amaryllis found herself on a relatively empty train. She avoided the compartment she knew the guys would be sitting in and went to another section of the train sitting down in the corner and pulling out a book.

She’d curled herself up in the corner of the seat so it wouldn’t be visible to anyone who she was. That was no one could question what she was doing or why she was sitting there if they saw her from the outside.

As she sat reading her book she heard the compartment door open. She glanced up briefly to see who was trying to sit in the compartment with her. She thought that maybe it was someone else who wanted to be alone and they could sit in silence for the entire train ride.

She was wrong.

“You have got to be kidding me.” She muttered to herself when she realised who was trying to sit there.

“You’re in our compartment.” Sirius told her.

Amaryllis didn’t move. She didn’t want them to know it was her. After all with them being Slytherin hating Gryffindors she doubted they’d actually heard about what had happened between her and the guys.

“Get out.” Sirius said.

Oh how she wanted to get up and protest but she held her ground. She wasn’t going to do anything. Nothing at all.

“Leave her alone Sirius.” Lily said. “She looks lonely. Let her sit here.”

“Why should we?” James asked.

“Shut up James.” Lily said hitting James on the back of the head. “You don’t even know who it is.”

Amaryllis just rolled her eyes. As if they’d be any nicer if they knew who she was. They’d probably be worse if she knew them. And Lily certainly wouldn’t be defending her. Not after how she’d treated the older girl.

“Who are you?” Sirius asked.

Amaryllis gave up. She couldn’t keep sitting here, trying to ignore them any longer. She thought she’d just leave. It would probably be better anyway.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She said in her best British accent, standing up, grabbing her stuff and moving to the door.

Just as she was about to reach for the door a hand reached out and grabbed her wrist. As the hand closed around her left wrist she began to panic. She couldn’t let her sleeve slip.

“What do you want?” She snapped.

It was only after she’d spoken that she realised she hadn’t faked an accent. Damn it. Now they knew it was her.

“Liz?” Sirius asked loosening his grip on her wrist enough for her to yank her hand out of his grasp. “Why aren’t you clinging to Reggie like separation would cause you both immense pain?”

“I didn’t know you had enough brain cells to come up with something like that.” Amaryllis retorted. “I’m also shocked at your knowledge of the word immense.”

“I thought you lot said she was quiet and polite.” Lily said to the boys.

“She was when we met her.” James pointed out. “The Slytherins must have gotten to her.”

Amaryllis glared around the compartment. She was mad at herself for letting them know it was her.

“Or maybe my life just started working out again before it once again turned to shit.” She snapped at the whole group before turning to address Sirius directly. “No, Sirius, being apart from Regulus does not cause immense pain. And I think you’ll find that your dear baby brother is disobeying your mother’s wishes more than you would have otherwise imagined.”

Sirius just stared at Amaryllis. He was shocked. He still thought of her as the same timid girl who they had taken back to their dorm. None of them would never have ever imagined her like this.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I have to go find somewhere else wallow in self-pity.” She said to the group.

As she turned and left the group all stared at her. Something had happened to her. Whether it was caused by being in Slytherin or living with the Blacks none of them knew. But something about the way she acted had changed from the last time they’d actually spoken to her. And none of them thought it was a good change.

* * *

When Walburga saw Amaryllis and Regulus step of the train separately she pursed her lips. Something had happened. The way the two of them refused to interact with one another as they walked over to her made her feel as though her assumptions were rightly so.

Although she hadn’t mentioned it she knew something had happened over the summer. After they were both marked they had stopped trying to sneak around. She was completely oblivious to what was going on in her own house. Not matter how well Kreacher kept guard for them. She had known about their sneaking around.

However when that had stopped Walburga was confused. She was unsure as to what could have caused it. The only thing Walburga was hoping for right then was that whatever issues they currently had would resolved by the time of their marriage. Which reminded her. She needed to inform Regulus of the marriage.

The two teenagers reached Walburga, neither looking at the other. Walburga scowled at the two before indicating for them to take her arm and apparating back to Grimmauld Place. Once they arrived in the drawing room both Amaryllis and Regulus made to head off to their rooms not wanting to be in the presence of the other.

“Stop.” Walburga said.

At the sound of her voice both of them stopped and turned back around.

“I wish to speak to both of you.” Walburga said as she herself began to walk out of the room.

Amaryllis and Regulus looked at one another before following Walburga out of the drawing room. They were led into the dining room where they sat in their usual seats to allow Walburga to talk to them. Neither wished to disobey Walburga. She was terrifying. They were seated beside one another and Walburga, who was still standing, looked down on them as she prepared to talk.

“I believe the time has come for me to inform you of your betrothal Regulus.” Walburga said to Regulus.

Kreacher came out of the kitchen bringing tea for all three around the table. Amaryllis sent him a small smile of gratitude. She thought it was the best she could do. After all, Kreacher did so much for them. He deserved some form of gratitude.

“I already know about it, Mother.” Regulus responded after taking the first sip of his tea.

Walburga’s gaze snapped to Amaryllis as she fixed the girl with a glare. Amaryllis’ movements paused, her cup only half way to her lips.

“I didn’t tell him.” Amaryllis defended after sitting in silence for a moment.

“It wasn’t her, Mother.” Regulus explained. “Bellatrix mentioned it when we met with the Dark Lord.”

Walburga’s glare softened. However she didn’t make any effort to send an apologetic glance to Amaryllis. Although neither teenager had expected her to.

“Ahh, I see.” Walburga said. “I suppose I must have a word with her.”

They both stared at her. Neither had expected this reaction. They’d both expected her to completely blow up at them. Yet she hadn’t.

“I believe we must begin planning for a summer wedding then.” She told them after a brief pause.

Regulus, who had just taken a sip from his cup began to cough. Amaryllis, who had been holding her cup, nearly spilt the entire thing in her lap. She managed to place it down before going to hit Regulus on the back in order to help him breathe again.

“Regulus Arcturus Black, you will behave properly in front of your future wife.” Walburga snapped at him.

“My apologies mother, Amaryllis, however I had not imagined that the preparations would begin so far in advance.” He explained after regaining his composure.

“If either of you wants any input in the plans then decisions will have to be made at once.” Walburga said.

“I’m sorry, what?” Amaryllis asked looking rather flustered before quickly recomposing herself and explaining. “Wouldn’t a winter wedding be better? The Amaryllis flower blooms in the winter months and I would very much like to have that flower there.”

Regulus sent her a glare. Walburga looked her over for a moment before disappearing out of the room to check something.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Regulus asked Amaryllis.

“Getting us another five or so months before we’re stuck together, permanently.” She explained.

“How do you know you didn’t just cost us six months?” He questioned.

“Did you not hear her?” She asked in shock. “We either help her now or have no say in anything. I don’t know about you, but to me that sounded an awful lot like she wants the wedding as soon as you’re seventeen.”

Regulus stared at her for a moment before saying, “You better have a bloody good story to fix this.”

“Don’t I always?” She questioned quietly as they heard Walburga’s footsteps coming closer to the room.

They both watched Walburga as she walked back into the room and stood in front of them once more now with a book in her hand.

“I’m sorry Walburga.” Amaryllis said to the older woman. “But it has always been a dream of mine to have the flower I was named after at my wedding. My mother had a garden full of them. Every year they would bloom and I would admire their beauty. I’ve always hoped they would be the flower at my wedding.”

Regulus listened intently to her story. She was good. There was no denying that.

“Of course dear.” Walburga said sweetly. “I was just checking when we could hold it. We wouldn’t want it to interfere with any other family anniversaries or events. Around next Christmas would be perfect.”

Amaryllis turned to Regulus to smile at him. He was just staring at her. He was in complete awe. No one had ever changed his mother’s mind on anything. Yet here was this girl who could change her mind in mere seconds. It didn’t seem real.

Walburga noticed the look her son was giving the girl next to him. There was something in that gaze that spoke of pure adoration. Although it was clear he wouldn’t accept it himself, that much was obvious from the discussion about both the betrothal and impending wedding, it was clearly there and anyone who saw him watching her would be able to tell.

“Regulus, do you have any requests?” Amaryllis asked him.

He looked at her for another moment before shaking his head. He’d always known his opinions for his wedding wouldn’t be as important as what his mother thought best and what his bride would want so he’d never thought of it. He honestly didn’t really care. He really just wanted to get the whole thing over with so they could move on.

The two females smiled. He tried to smile at them yet he was sure it appeared as more of a grimace. It did yet neither Amaryllis or Walburga commented on it. They both knew he didn’t want to be discussing wedding plans so Walburga ushered him away.

Amaryllis smiled sweetly as Walburga sat down in front of her. The younger of the two was going to make some of her own decisions for the wedding. No matter how much as didn’t want it there was no way she would let Walburga make the choices.

* * *

That night while Amaryllis lay in her bed just staring at the roof. It was all moving too quickly for her liking. She didn’t want it all to happen like this. It was beginning to become clear that in a year’s time her life was going to be handed to someone else. Her life was no longer going to be her own.

As she lay there thinking she heard a noise in her room. Quickly, she sat up and peered into the darkness. She had grabbed her wand, which was on the bedside table with her light. She held it up although she wasn’t sure why. she didn’t know enough magic for it to actually do her any good.

“Did you have to go along with everything she said?” She heard Regulus ask.

“Oh I’m sorry.” Amaryllis responded with a sigh realising who was in her room. “Was it not me who made it so we have a year to sort this mess out rather than six months.”

She placed her wand back down and shuffled up the bed so her back was resting against the head board.

“Well, yes.” He acknowledged as she felt the bed dip beside her. “Thank you for that. But that still doesn’t change the fact that we’re getting married. Mother is down there planning our wedding.”

“Thing about it this way.” She told him. “I couldn’t exactly say to her ‘I’m sorry, but I’d rather gouge out my own eye balls than marry your son.’”

“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” He asked her shocked by the way she was speaking.

“No matter how I phrased it there wasn’t any way I could have gotten out of it.” She explained.

They sat in silence for a moment.

“What if I said something?” He asked.

“I don’t think it would do us any good.” She said. “Your mother’s fixated on this.”

There was another silence. Neither knew what to say. The only thing they knew was that at that moment neither of them wanted what they knew was coming.

“I miss you.” Regulus said eventually. “I miss our friendship.”

“I miss you too.” Amaryllis responded. “I’m sorry about everything with Corbin. I don’t know what happened. He just didn’t trust me.”

“That’s his loss.” He told her.

Amaryllis felt her face heating up. She knew that if the room wasn’t completely dark he would have seen how red her face was going. And most likely tease her for it.

“I’m sorry for everything I said.” Regulus admitted. “I was angry. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

“Do you still agree with what you said?” She asked.

Silence filled the room. Regulus was thinking. He wanted to tell her that he hadn’t meant it. That he would be perfectly happy to marry her. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was terrified she wouldn’t feel the same way. That she would still be opposed to the marriage.

Amaryllis took his silence as an answer. She was mad at herself. For some reason she had hoped that maybe he might actually want to be with her. Yet it was clear he didn’t. Perhaps things between them just weren’t meant to be happy.


	15. somebody else

When Corbin and Timothy arrived at their usual compartment after the winter break they were surprised to see Amaryllis seated beside Regulus. They didn’t think the two of them would be able to reconcile their differences over the break. Yet, somehow, they had.

Amaryllis and Regulus were sitting in a comfortable silence when the others arrived. They had been discussing some of the things she had been going over with Walburga for the wedding planning. Amaryllis had managed convinced Walburga to owl her every so often with advancements on the plans. At least that way the teenagers would know what was going on and be able to put a stop to something that they both were opposed to.

“I thought you two hated each other.” Timothy said as he and Corbin sat down.

“Well Amy was able to get us an extra months by convincing Mother to push the wedding back for flowers.” Regulus explained. “She’s also managed to make it so we’re still involved in the planning while we’re at Hogwarts.”

“So you’ve stopped acting like a prick?” Corbin asked rather angrily. “You want to marry her now?”

“Oh of course not.” Amaryllis said rolling her eyes. “But at least this way we can actually have a wedding that we’re happy at, even if we aren’t happy with who we’re marrying.”

“Just because we’re unhappy with the situation doesn’t mean we need to make ourselves and one another miserable.” Regulus explained. “Civility is so much better.”

Corbin and Timothy stared at the two in shock. Neither understood how they could have come to an agreement such as this. It had probably involved a lot of arguing, yet, somehow, it had worked.

“Well I’ll leave you to be boys.” Amaryllis said standing up. “I need to change anyway. Then I’ll go find something else to do.”

“Don’t you mean somebody else?” Corbin muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

If looks could kill Corbin would have died a hundred times with the glare Amaryllis sent him as she turned around. When he met her eyes he shrunk back into his seat to try to avoid it. Nothing else was said as she exited the compartment and headed towards the toilets to get changed. Neither of the other boys would risk being on the receiving end of a glare like that.

* * *

After everything that had happened before the winter break Amaryllis was just looking to just fly under the radar for the rest of the year. She didn’t want any more trouble. She especially didn’t want to have to deal with anymore issues caused by degrading relationships.

Yet the world didn’t want that for her.

Although her friendship with Regulus had been restored their impending marriage caused some tension between the two. They knew what their lives were currently like was not going to last. Soon they would have their freedom taken from them and they would be tied to one another.

As Amaryllis walked along the train looking for a compartment, now in her robes, she ran into someone who she hadn’t expected to see. Of course she’d known he’d be on the train. After all, they had seen one another over the break at the meeting they were expected to attended.

“Merrin, Black finally let you get away.” Evan Rosier said to her when he noticed who he’d walked into.

“Cause he’s the one that’s in charge.” Amaryllis responded.

“Really?” He questioned.

“You know I don’t mean it like that.” She said with a smile. “Besides, Corbin was being a bit of a prick. I needed to get away.”

They stood in silence for a moment listening to the muffled sounds of other people’s conversations.

“Why don’t you join us?” Evan said after a moment. “Crouch has started following us around and someone needs to help defuse the tension between him and Severus as it’s starting to do my head in.”

“Sure.” She said nodding at him before following as he moved through the train.

As they moved through the train Amaryllis noticed some people’s eyes follow the pair as they walked. She noticed this especially as she walked passed the compartment she had previously been in. Regulus glanced at the pair briefly before continuing on with the conversation. Corbin’s eyes locked onto the pair and he glared as they moved passed the compartment. When they were just passed it she turned her head to glance back at the group and her gaze was met my Corbin’s glare.

What had done wrong?

Not too long after that they arrived at the compartment with Severus and Bartemius Crouch Jr. or Barty, as he preferred to be called. Although Amaryllis couldn’t see herself calling him Barty, ever. The way he stared at her as she entered with Evan made her squirm slightly.

“I thought you said you were going to look for the trolley.” Severus said in his monotone voice. “Instead you come back with Merrin.”

“She was just wandering the train alone.” Evan admitted as he seated himself next to Severus. “Couldn’t leave her like that.”

“You could have.” Amaryllis responded. “You just wanted another buffer between these two.”

Evan sent her a glare. It was only a friendly one and had her laughing.

“So how was your break?” He asked her.

“Alright.” She responded. “I spent more time with Walburga than I would have liked but otherwise it was rather enjoyable.”

“I heard Bellatrix mention something about that.” Evan said.

“Oh don’t get me started.” She said. “We’ll be here all day.”

“So the planning isn’t going well.” Severus stated.

“Walburga just has all these ideas and I’m not really in support of them all.” She explained. “At least one thing I requested had been confirmed. It’s also pushed back the date by around six months.”

Both Evan and Severus were shocked. They hadn’t expected that to be the case. Barty was just confused. He had no idea what they were talking about.

“Can we please stop talking about it?” She asked them. “I don’t overly want to talk about the ending of my life as I know it.”

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?” Evan asked her.

“Well considering I didn’t get a choice and he’s not overly thrilled about the whole thing either.” She said before trailing off.

There wasn’t any more to say. She didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Barty, who had remained silent through the whole conversation, was a little confused. Considering none of them had bothered to explicitly state what was going on he couldn’t work out what they were talking about. 

* * *

Since being back at school Amaryllis had avoided Regulus and his group as much as possible. Well, excluding when she consulted him on the wedding plans. Instead she had taken to spending free time with Evan, Severus and, unfortunately, Barty.

Evan and Severus were studying for their N.E.W.T.s which were slowly drawing closer meaning the group was spending more time in the library than not. Barty was studying, well not studying, for his O.W.L.s which were at a similar time to the older boys N.E.W.T.s. Barty’s opposition to studying meant that Amaryllis found herself nearly tutoring him in the subjects that she had done decent in.

Barty was enjoying the tutoring. He wasn’t really as bad at his classes as he was letting Amaryllis think. He just wanted her to tutor him. Ever since she had joined them in their compartment on the train he had formed a sort of infatuation with her. He wanted her to talk to him so he was trying anything he could to get her to. Although he wasn’t sure playing dumb was going to work forever.

While the group was studying Evan would occasionally look up from his work and over at where Amaryllis would be sitting, trying to teach Barty, and smile at her. He always tried to sit directly across from her in order to make this easier. If she noticed his glance she would generally send an exasperated look back at him. Barty was not the easiest to teach.

Severus noticed how often Evan would look at Amaryllis. He wondered if maybe there was another reason she had been allowed to join them. A reason beyond distracting Barty. After all everyone had seen her very public break up with Corbin Wilkes. Although there was still that question of what was happening with her impending marriage to Regulus.

“I don’t see why you’re struggling so much with this.” Amaryllis said to Barty. “I found it rather simple I only start actually attending classes last year.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.” Barty said. “These were your first classes. Before that you had speed learning which is a lot more difficult.”

“Or perhaps you’re overthinking it.” She tried.

He looked at her for a second before turning back to the page in front of him. After staring at the page for a moment he turned back to look at her again.

“Try this.” She said pulling the parchment out from in front of him. “Dot point the steps as it states in the textbook and elaborate on each of them adding any additional information on how to brew the potion.”

Barty stared at her for a minute.

“Do not ask me anything else.” Amaryllis said before he turned to work on the essay. “If you didn’t already know I have my own work to complete and would much rather get that done. If you refuse to allow me to complete my own work you’ll be sorry.”

He noticed the fire in her eyes as she spoke. Maybe he was pushing this playing dumb thing a little bit too far.

Both Evan and Severus had stopped working and were staring at her. They hadn’t expected her to react like that. She’d always been so patient with Barty. What had happened?

The three older students continued on with their work. Barty finished his essay and muttered something about leaving before he vanished from the table. Once she was sure he was out of earshot Amaryllis let out a sigh of relief.

“I know he’s playing dumb.” She said. “He needs to stop. If he continues on like this I may just have to refuse to help him.”

“It was pretty great how you handled him.” Evan said smiling at her.

“Thank you.” She said looking down at the desk in front of her.

Severus took one look at Evan and decided to leave as well. Without so much as a word he got up and walked out of the library. Evan and Amaryllis watched in confusion as Severus left. They didn’t know why he would do that. Leave without saying anything.

“What’s going on with him?” Amaryllis asked.

“No idea.” Evan replied. “How could tell? With Crouch I mean.”

“The questions he asks are the easy to answer ones.” She explained. “He never asks me anything I questioned myself when doing the work.”

“So if he asked more difficult questions you’d be more open to helping him?” He asked.

“If he doesn’t continue being annoying about it.” She responded. “He’s been doing my head in.”

Amaryllis leant back so she was looking up and placed her hand on her forehead. She heard a shuffling nose and felt a presence beside her. She sat back up again to notice Evan had moved from the seat across from her to the seat beside her.

“How’s the wedding planning going?” He asked. “I heard that you started it.”

“It’s dreadful.” She responded. “Walburga wants everything big and I would much prefer for a less extravagant wedding.”

“Generally pureblood weddings are like that.” He explained.

“At least I get to choose my dress though.” She said. “I’m happy about that. I’m going shopping with Narcissa and Bellatrix over the summer. They’ll help me with boundaries for what I can and can’t have but ultimately I get to decide.”

“Well at least you have that.” He smiled. “How’s Black coping with it all?”

“If you hadn’t noticed we aren’t really speaking.” She said looking down again, feeling ashamed that she was getting excited over picking a dress for her wedding when the person she was marrying didn’t want anything to do with her at that moment. “I don’t think he doesn’t wants it to happen. He just agrees with everything. It’s like he doesn’t even care.”

They sat in silence for a while. Evan didn’t really know what to say. Amaryllis felt bad for unloading her problems onto him. He didn’t really care about all the doubts that were being had by both her and Regulus with their betrothal.

“Well, seeing as that doesn’t seem to be working, what would you say to accompanying me to Hogsmeade next weekend?” Evan asked after a while.

Amaryllis stared at him for a while. She definitely hadn’t expected this. It was possible that Severus had though. That would explain why he left.

“Okay.” She said after a while. “But know that realistically this is only temporary. What with my impending marriage to Regulus and everything.”

“Of course.” He responded as he stared into her eyes.

“Glad to know we’re on the same page.” She said as she fixed his stare.

The two of them were staring at each other and began to slowly move closer to one another. It just felt so right.

“What did I tell you?” Corbin said. “She’s moved on to somebody else. You’re going to have keep this one on a leash Reg.”

“Oh yes, you’re the expert on how I live my life and how I act.” Amaryllis said backing away from Evan slightly.

In front of her she saw Regulus, Corbin and Timothy standing there with their books. Amaryllis couldn’t figure out what she’d done to make Corbin hate her. Yet something she had done had hurt him bad enough that he had become exceptionally bitter towards her.

“Actually, Rosier, we wanted to speak to you.” Regulus said shutting down any argument that was bound to happen between Amaryllis and Corbin before it could happen.

“What about?” Evan asked resting him arm on the back of the seat behind Amaryllis.

“Corbin and I are interested in joining.” Timothy said.

Amaryllis stared at them. She knew exactly what they were referring to and she was sure Evan did too. It wasn’t very hard to work out. If you knew the group well enough anyway.

“Well Rabastan had a system put in place so two people had to vouch for each new member of our group here at Hogwarts.” Evan explained. “Black had Rabastan and Severus. Amaryllis had Black and Rabastan. It stops anyone who would tell a professor about us from joining our group.”

“Well, I’ll vouch for them both.” Regulus said quickly before shooting Amaryllis a look.

He wanted her support with both of them.

“I can vouch for Timothy.” Amaryllis agreed.

There was no way she was going to do anything for Corbin. Not after the way he was treating her.

“Black, you can inform Mulciber of the next meeting.” Evan told Regulus. “Wilkes, will just have to wait.”

The group of boys who were standing looked at Amaryllis. She just sent them a smirk.

“Amy…” Regulus started before realising it would be pointless.

“As soon as he ends whatever this nonsense is that he’s going on about then I’ll vouch for him.” She said.

With that she collected her books and made her way out of the library.


	16. afterthoughts

The weekend after the meeting in the library came quicker than Amaryllis had expected. She hadn’t spent nearly as much time with any of the guys she was friends with as she would have liked. The only exception to this was the annoyance that was her tutoring sessions with Barty. The boy just would not leave her alone.

Although she felt that all the time spent with him breathing down her neck would be worth it if this date with Evan were to work out. She was worried she was running out of options for an alternate partner. What with the limited number of respectable pureblood boys around her age.

Amaryllis had told both Lucinda and Madelyn about what she was doing in Hogsmeade. This was, however, only after the girls had tried to convince her to join them on a girls day. At first she’d been reluctant to tell her friends about Evan not wanting to hear to Lucinda’s squeals or listen Madelyn’s advice.

It wasn’t that Madelyn’s advice was bad. Because it wasn’t. Her advice was always so logical. The way she phrased things had a way of nearly always changing Amaryllis’ perspective on what she was about to do and that was not what she wanted to deal with when it came to this date with Evan.

Yet her efforts had been all for naught as the two girls had eventually gotten the information out of her. As expected there were both squeals from Lucinda and the annoyingly logical advice from Madelyn, consisting of him leaving the school at the end of the year and her recent break up with Corbin.

But Amaryllis didn’t care. She wanted to get her mind off everything else that was going on in her life and she knew that this was the best way to do that. After all, this was her choice. She could do whatever she wanted. She could go out with whoever she wanted.

And that was exactly what she planned on doing.

The morning of the Hogsmeade trip, Amaryllis got dressed, putting on one of her nicer looking casual robes. Even though it had been nearly two years since she’d arrived at Hogwarts she missed being able to wear pants as she’d done every day at home. Well, nearly every day. The exception was when she had to wear her school uniform. But that couldn’t have been helped.

She hadn’t let the other girls help her get ready. There was no way she was listening to any last minute advice from either of them. Not when she knew Madelyn would try to deter her from actually going on this date.

As Amaryllis walked down the stairs from the dorm, into the common room, she was met with a smiling Evan and a scowling Regulus. She sent Evan a smile, glared briefly at Regulus before turning back to Evan.

“You’re not seriously going through with this are you Amy?” Regulus asked her.

“You’re not seriously asking me that right now are you Reg?” Amaryllis retorted.

“Let’s go.” Evan said taking her hand and leading her out of the common room and away from Regulus.

* * *

The date had been going rather well and the two of them were sitting the Three Broomsticks drinking Butterbeer. Amaryllis was enjoying herself, but not as much as she’d thought she would. While it was nice to be there with Evan there was something hanging over her that she couldn’t quite work out.

While she had expected to enjoy the visit more than she was it was still her most enjoyable trip to Hogsmeade in a while. Sure going to Hogsmeade with the other girls was enjoyable but the main topic they wanted to discuss was boys and she didn’t really enjoy those conversations. Not when she was so limited with her choices and knew that things weren’t likely to work out the way she wanted in the end.

“I guess you could say I mostly fear being stuck in a situation where I’m unhappy and don’t see a way out.” Amaryllis told Evan.

“So like the situation with Regulus.” He suggested.

“I wouldn’t exactly say that.” She responded. “I’m not entirely opposed to it. The whole thing is more the way he reacted to it and has since been treating me surrounding it. If he wasn’t so adamant on finding a way out then I would be fine with it. We may even have a chance to develop something. But he doesn’t seem to want to.”

“Have you noticed he’s making no effort to try to find someone else?” He asked.

Amaryllis looked confusedly at Evan. She hadn’t noticed that. She’d gone and taken his advice of finding another pureblood on board but he didn’t seem to be doing anything. Instead he seemed more focused on being rude to anyone she associated herself with. It was strange.

It was as if he was trying to make every relationship she tried fail.

“I suppose so.” She muttered.

A silence fell over the two as they sipped their drinks. They both contemplated the implications of what Evan had suggested. Evan wondered if maybe Regulus had only said those things to give Amaryllis and option to get out if she wanted to. Not as a way of saying he didn’t want it, but a way of giving her a choice. Amaryllis wondered if she was making the right choice by trying to find someone else.

Eventually they both came to the same conclusion. In that moment they wanted to be with one another. No more thoughts of Regulus Black or the impending wedding. They were to just focus on the now.

So he kissed her.

She was taken aback for a moment. This wasn’t like the slow, timid kiss she’d received from Corbin. There was slightly more force behind it. But by the way he kissed her she knew he wanted her to forget about Regulus. Forget about the betrothal. Forget who she was supposed to be and just be there, with him.

It was strange how well she could tell what he was thinking just from the single kiss.

But it wasn’t perfect.

The feeling it gave her was different to the way she had felt when she’d kissed Corbin. Kissing Corbin had felt right at the time but looking back she knew it was wrong. Nothing about kissing Evan felt right.

She pulled away but couldn’t bring herself to look into his brown eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She said to him softly. “It just…”

She trailed off not knowing what to say.

“It just didn’t feel right.” He supplied.

“Yeah.” She muttered.

“I know.” He said.

“So what now?” She asked.

“We finish our drinks, go back to the castle and go back to the way we were.” He said.

“I’d like that.” She said.

They moved apart and continued with their drinks. As they had their drinks they talked. They were friends. That much was clear. It was nice to be able to calmly talk between themselves for a bit. Even if it was just after the awkwardness that was that kiss.

* * *

To say Amaryllis disliked being alone was an understatement. She absolutely despised being by herself. The feelings of isolation it gave her left her with a less than pleasant feeling in her stomach. One she would rather not feel. But at that moment she could think of nothing better than solitude. Being by herself meant that she didn’t have to deal with any questions or comments from the people around her.

Madelyn had been firm with her “I told you so” after Amaryllis had come back from her date with Evan saying it didn’t work out. And any time she found herself remotely close to Regulus he would question her about Evan and what had happened between them. Something she would really rather not talk about.

She was done with all the people around her. Everything they were trying to say to her. Everything they thought they knew about her. It was becoming rather exhausting.

By sitting alone on the astronomy tower she was able to detach herself from all the people around her. It also allowed her to think about everything going on in her life. Everything was falling apart. Everything she had so carefully crafted for herself was turning into a nightmare. And she was hating every second of it.

The first thing that came to mind was Corbin. By having that relationship with him she’d lost one of her closest friends. Although she couldn’t be entirely to blame. He had refused to believe her when she had tried to explain herself saying her ability to lie was making everything worse. It made her wonder if all her choices had been the right ones.

Everything with Corbin had seemed right at the time. She hated that the way it had by their relationship ending it had also wrecked their friendship. She missed him more than she would have liked to admit. More than she ever would admit. She missed the way he would help her when Regulus wouldn’t. She missed the way he was unafraid of confronting her about her actions. She even missed his incessant teasing about her betrothal.

He was her friend first and foremost. But since everything had happened he refused to even be in the same room as her, let alone look at her or speak to her. Her biggest worry was that he wouldn’t be able to put it all to rest in time for the wedding. He must know when it was happening by now. Regulus obviously would have mentioned it.

Amaryllis hoped more than anything that if Corbin couldn’t forgive her in time for the wedding he would at least be able to put it to rest long enough to get through the entire thing for Regulus. He was one of Regulus’ best friends so he’d obviously be invited.

The wedding was the next biggest worry on her mind. She knew how the planning was going. Walburga’s letters allowed her to at least know what was going on with that side of it all. She didn’t want to be kept in the dark about her own wedding. That would be dreadful.

She knew the colour scheme that Walburga had decided on. Although it seemed very cliché to Amaryllis she decided it wouldn’t be something worth fighting over. Especially when she didn’t hate it anyway.

From what she knew of the planning process it was all going smoothly. Narcissa’s assistance was certainly helping prevent any stupid things from being forced into the wedding. All of Amaryllis’ letter were also being collected and brought to any planning session allowing her input to always be there.

After all it was all for her wedding and she wanted her wedding to be special, regardless of who it was with. Regardless of how she felt about it. About the person she was being forced to marry. It was the one thing that nearly all little girls dreamed about. And no one was going to ruin it for her.

Thinking about the wedding got her wondering about what Evan had said about Regulus. Why had he suggested they find other people without following his own advice? Why had he been so rude to Evan about them spending the day in Hogsmeade together? None of it made any sense.

They had tried to put everything behind them over the break and try to have some form of friendship so everything would be easier. But Corbin had wrecked that. All Amaryllis wanted was to be able to have a decent relationship with Regulus when the time came for them to be married.

No one wanted to be married to someone they couldn’t stand.

Then there was Evan. She felt bad for him. She didn’t want to hurt him. Although she thought she’d probably would have felt worse if she’d tried to push through her awkward feelings and continue to pursue a relationship between them. Leaving him later on would have felt worse for them both. There was no use pretending to have feelings for someone she didn’t have them for.

As she looked over what her life had become she realised how different it was to anything she had could have imagined in her previous life. She had never imagined she’d get married at seventeen. She had never imagined she wouldn’t choose the person she was marrying. She had never imagined she’d not be speaking to the one she was marrying when there was less than a year until their wedding. It was just not something she had ever thought of. Or even heard of happening.

But it was her life now. And there was nothing she could do to change it.

* * *

After her date with Evan, Amaryllis found herself spending more and more time by herself. She was becoming accustomed to the solitude. It was becoming pleasant. It no longer left a strange feeling in her stomach. Instead she found it rather relaxing.

She had begun writing more letters to Narcissa about the wedding. They had similar ideas about what they believed would work but Walburga would tend to shoot down any of Narcissa’s ideas due to them not being a part of the older woman’s vision. Amaryllis found this ridiculous.

With Narcissa sharing her ideas with Amaryllis in advance the bride-to-be was able to decide how she felt about them before they were brought to Walburga. This allowed her to see how Narcissa was envisioning the ideas and give a proper judgement on it rather than judge the idea based on Walburga’s method of explaining it which usually made them seem a lot worse than they actually were.

By discussing ideas between themselves beforehand both Amaryllis and Narcissa were able to suggest similar things to Walburga making the older woman more likely to include them, however begrudgingly her acceptance ended up being.

Regulus’ input into his own wedding was becoming rather scare. Due to his uncertainty when answering Amaryllis’ questions about what he wanted to be included caused her to seek him out less and less. His lack of fix ideas drove her crazy. This was supposed to be about both of them. Why didn’t he want any input?

Eventually she got to the point where she just stopped asking him what he wanted all together. Instead she just told him to tell her if he had any ideas. It seemed the best way for it to work. Seeking him out was doing no good for either of them. The fact that she didn’t really care about what he had to say was definitely making her trying to ask him things even harder.

But all in all the planning was going well all things considered. If someone was to look on the planning from the outside, apart from the mild animosity between the couple, there would be no indicator that this marriage was being forced upon them. Or very little indication anyway.


	17. White Dress

Sitting on the train with Evan, Severus and Barty was strange. This was the last time Evan and Severus would ever catch the train with them. It was a little sad. This was it for them. They were heading out into the world now.

As the group sat in the compartment, just talking, Amaryllis realised just how close they were getting to Kings Cross Station. It wasn’t long now.

She mumbled to the group that she had better change before getting up and heading out towards the toilets. She made it there no problem, changed into the robes she knew Walburga would want her to be in, and headed back to her carriage.

Then she was stopped.

“Liz, can I talk to you?” She heard Sirius ask from behind her.

She stopped, considered what he’s asked before turning around nodding at him. It was only fair to hear him out. This would probably be the last time she’d see him. So there were no troubles.

“What is it Sirius?” She asked politely.

He motioned to the compartment his friends were sitting in.

“Sorry.” He said to her. “For everything that happened. I, we, shouldn’t have pushed you away like that when you were sorted into Slytherin.”

“I understand why you did.” She said her thoughts quickly shifting to the mark on her arm, yet she made no move whatsoever to indicate its presence. “The separation between Gryffindor and Slytherin would have made it too difficult for a proper friendship. Just look at Lily and Severus.”

The whole group of boys were silent.

“So, you and Reggie.” Sirius joked.

“It was Walburga’s idea.” Amaryllis explained. “You may have been disowned but you’ll still be my brother-in-law. If I can’t find a way out of it that is. You can owl me if you need anything.”

“Likewise.” He responded.

The two smiled at one another before Sirius pulled her in for a hug. They were to be family regardless of how anyone else saw Sirius’ position. They pulled apart and Amaryllis moved towards the door.

She’d opened the door and was about to leave when she turned her head, looked at Sirius and said, “He misses you; you know. He didn’t want things to happen like they did. Remember that.”

With that she left hoping that her words would resonate with him. Knowing the things she was involved in she knew she might need his help one day.

She headed back to her compartment, a much more solemn look on her face.

“You alright?” Evan asked her as she sat back down.

“Fine.” She said. “Just saying goodbye to someone.”

“Are you going to be like this when we get to the platform?” Severus asked.

No one could tell if he was actually curious or if he hoped she wouldn’t be.

“Possibly.” She told them. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“You’ll still see us.” Evan told her. “It’s not like we’re just going to disappear.”

“True. But Hogwarts will still be different.” She said.

“Try to enjoy it.” Evan told her.

She smiled and they all let out a small laugh at how sad she seemed. It was strange. She was never like this. They all wondered if maybe something else was going on.

* * *

While Regulus liked Narcissa well enough her constant presence at Grimmauld Place was starting to become rather irritating. While he knew the reason she was there he wasn’t with it. He wasn’t ready for the wedding, even if it was close to six months away.

The whole idea of the wedding was weighing down on him. There was nothing about it that he found remotely comforting. Not when he said didn’t want it. Well, to himself anyway. Never would he say that to his mother.

But the whole thing with the wedding was changing the way Regulus viewed Amaryllis. He was beginning to notice things about her that he had never noticed before. They were only small details but they were making it easier for him to determine what she was thinking and how she felt about certain things.

Certain tells that her innate ability to lie couldn’t cover up.

He was beginning to discover just how much she was enjoying the actual planning for the wedding. Being back at Grimmauld Place he was dragged along to many of the planning sessions much to his chagrin. But he found that he wasn’t hating them as much as he’d initially thought as they’d helped him pick up on many things about his future wife.

The way she acted during the planning gave off small hints as to how she was feeling. Hints that he wasn’t sure any of the others could see.

There was the soft smile that would form on her lips when she shared the ideas she was proud of with the others around the table. This was the first thing that he noticed. It was the first thing that made him realise that she was enjoying the planning.

And there was the way her eyes would brighten ever so slightly when she liked someone else’s idea. An idea she hadn’t even considered. It allowed him to grasp the sort of things she liked. There was a strange feeling that he got when he saw it. He wanted to cause that light in her eyes.

Then there was the way she would glance around at everyone when she didn’t know something to see if anyone else was confused. It was this that reminded him that she wasn’t the perfect pureblood girl that everyone thought she was. It was this that reminded him that she was just as scared about this whole thing as he was. If not more.

But there was also the way she would furrow her eyebrows ever so slightly if she didn’t like an idea that someone had suggested. This was something no one else had noticed. It made him wonder if anyone actually paid attention to her reactions to things.

He couldn’t work out why he was picking up on these little nuances of hers. It wasn’t like he’d ever noticed anything like this about her before. So why was he noticing them now? What had changed?

There were other things he had noticed. Things within himself relating to her that he was beginning to notice. He couldn’t figure out why but for some reason seeing her with Evan had made him mad. It was so peculiar. There was no reason for it to make him mad, yet it had. 

But Regulus thought it was all his own fault. He’d let Corbin get to her. If he’d just defended her while she was still there then maybe she would have stayed. Maybe she wouldn’t have ignored him throughout the second part of the year. And if she hadn’t ignore him then maybe they’d be in a better position. Maybe they might actually have respect for one another.

Regulus wanted to be happy in his marriage and he knew Amaryllis did too. He didn’t want to be like his parents. He knew that together the two of them could be happy. They could even achieve the one thing she wanted in marriage more than anything. Love. He just needed to convince her to speak to him. Even if it was just for a little bit.

* * *

Amaryllis, Narcissa and Bellatrix were at Twilfitt and Tattings. They were looking through different dresses for each of them. It had been decided that since Amaryllis had become friends with the other women they would act as a form of bridesmaids.

Amaryllis didn’t see any problems with this. She was perfectly happy to have Narcissa and Bellatrix walk down the aisle before her in dresses of her selected colour.

“Are you sure that’s what she said?” Amaryllis asked Narcissa who had just informed the younger girl of one of Walburga’s requests with the dress.

“Of course.” Narcissa answered.

“I don’t know how comfortable I am with that.” Amaryllis responded. “I mean I don’t regret my decision. I’d just be nervous having it so publicly displayed.”

Bellatrix just looked at Amaryllis. While both women knew what the youngest of the group was talking about only Bellatrix could truly understand. And even still, Bellatrix didn’t feel the same way Amaryllis did.

Amaryllis, while supportive of the Dark Lord, still feared what could happen if someone were to find out about her having the mark. She knew that people in support of him were the main targets for the Aurors and she did not want to get sent to Azkaban.

They all knew exactly what was being talked about but not one dared say it out loud. They didn’t want anyone who might be listening in to hear.

“Walburga seemed pretty adamant on a Slytherin theme.” Amaryllis said. “And I understand the connotations behind a white wedding dress as well as how it may be perceived if I don’t wear one. Yet I feel as though a silver dress would work the best.”

“It is your wedding.” Narcissa said.

“I feel as though Walburga is making it more about her though.” The younger girl said.

“Well she only has one son and doesn’t have a daughter.” Narcissa explained. “She must want to be able to do all this the one time she can.”

“I suppose so.” Amaryllis said as she pulled a dress off the rack and headed off to see how it would look.

As she changed out of her robes and into the dress she found she thought back on what Narcissa had said. Walburga only had one son. But what about Sirius? Was there something to do with him being disowned that meant he was no longer considered part of the family?

She would still consider him as brother-in-law once her and Regulus were married regardless of how the rest of their family saw him. He would still be their child’s uncle. As so long as no one found out enough to disown them she wanted their child to know their uncle. Their only other relative.

As she pulled the dress on and looked at herself she felt as though she’d made the right decision. The white lace flowers embroidered across the bodice were lovely and exactly what she thought she needed to still include the connotations white holds at a wedding.

The entire skirt of the dress, from the waist all the way to the long flowing train at the bottom was a shimmering silver to match the theme and contrast the dark, forest green they had chosen for both Bellatrix and Narcissa’s dresses. She loved the idea of a silver wedding dress ever since she’d heard of them and she knew she was making the right choice.

Holding her arm in a specific way to not flash the now vivid red tattoo on her arm to anyone who may walk past the windows, she stepped out of the small changing room to show her soon to be relatives the dress. Smiles came across both their faces. They were happy with her choice. They agreed with her.

The whole group was glad it was finally over. Although they had seemed energetic and excited the many hours they had spent looking at dresses had taken a toll on all three women. So once the dress was paid for they all made their way back to Grimmauld Place to inform Walburga of their success.

* * *

The issue with Amaryllis and Regulus’ relationship was rather simple. They made it appear as though they didn’t want to be together yet both realised that if they were to actually interact with one another and be friends they would most likely be happy. Though neither was willing to give the other a chance.

When looked at from the outside others couldn’t understand why the two had been paired together. There seemed to be a burning hatred between them so why anyone thought something between them would work was a complete mystery to most.

So, while both of them knew if they just put everything between them aside, they would be fine, neither was willing to make the first move to fix things. Not when they knew one word from Corbin could destroy whatever friendship they would create. They wouldn’t risk something like that.

Although it was the summer, and they would have plenty of time to figure things out, they still chose to keep their distance from one another. Something they still believed Walburga to be oblivious to. Well, until that one day.

Both teenagers had been in their rooms, working their way through their holiday homework, when Walburga summoned them to the drawing room.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed what is going on here.” She snapped at them.

“I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about.” Regulus responded even though he had a pretty good idea what she was talking about.

Walburga glared at the two of them. She was working out the best way to approach the situation without forcing the two of them to speak to one another. That would come later if this nonsense was still going on.

“If either of you wish to continue contributing to the wedding plans, I’d advise you to at least have some form of interaction with one another while you are staying here.” She told them before heading out of the room.

They watched as she walked out from the room. Neither had expected that. Amaryllis’ eyes were on the door for almost a full minute after Walburga had left the room before turning to Regulus.

“You don’t honestly expect me to be friendly towards you when all you do is support Corbin and everything he has been say about me?” She asked him, standing up from her seat as she spoke.

“So you want me to denounce one of my best friends because he something that hurt your precious feelings?” He retorted as he too rose from his seat.

There was a moment of silence in which the two stood staring at each other.

“What happened to us?” She asked softly. “We used to be so close that it appeared ‘separation would cause us immense pain’ as Sirius put it.”

“I suppose we started caring more about what others thought.” He suggested.

“I don’t want this to end horribly.” She explained. “Sure I wasn’t thrilled at first, but that wasn’t because I didn’t want it to happen. To me it just felt like it was marking the end of the life I’d known before. As if it was cutting me off from ever returning to that life. And I was scared. I still am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be happy with you.”

Regulus was confused. What was she saying? It didn’t make sense.

“When you told me we should find other people I was a little upset.” She continued. “I didn’t want you to think that way about it. I wanted you to be happy. I get that you were hurt by me not telling you the truth, but I was only doing as I was told. I don’t have anyone else. If your mother kicks me out, where am I meant to go?”

“I never meant to hurt you.” He told her. “I was scared. After Sirius left everything he was supposed to do for the family, everything he was supposed to be fell on to me. I was worried I couldn’t be the person my parents wanted me to be. I don’t want to disappoint them. But I don’t want to become as miserable as they are.”

They stood in silence. Both were now realising that neither was ready for this. Neither knew what they truly wanted. All they knew was that they wanted to be happy.

“Can we please, once and for all, just stop all this nonsense?” Amaryllis asked. “Why can’t we just not listen to what anyone else is saying?”

“I guess we’ve conditioned ourselves to act like this.” Regulus told her.

“Let’s just be friends.” She said. “No more nonsense.”

“No more nonsense.” He agreed.

They smiled at each other. After standing in an awkward silence for a moment they both headed out of the Drawing Room back into their bedrooms hoping that everything was finally resolved.


	18. that way

Amaryllis was heading back to her dorm from the library. She had been studying. Well, trying to study. She’d noticed Barty watching her again. It seemed that ever since Evan and Severus had left Barty had been trying to find new ways to get her attention.

Considering she was now studying for her own N.E.W.T.s he’d decided it would probably be best not to continue forcing her to try to tutor him. But without her tutoring they didn’t talk at all. And Barty wanted to talk to her.

“Amy, wait up.” Barty called.

“I told you to stop calling me that.” Amaryllis snapped, stopping in her tracks and turning around to face him.

Barty had been trying to get closer to her but she wanted none of it. She found him rather irritating sometimes and that habit of licking his lips was a little strange. She had been able to tolerate him when they were in the group but with it now being just the two of them it was becoming increasingly more difficult to see past all that. Despite it all thought, she just couldn’t bring herself to hate him. When he wasn’t being incredibly irritating he could be quite sweet.

Amaryllis let out a sigh when she saw the shocked expression on his face.

“Look, Barty, it’s not that I don’t like you, I do, you’re a good friend, it’s just I’m dealing with a lot right now.” She explained.

“You mean your marriage.” Barty said.

“How do you know about that?” She asked.

Barty didn’t say anything right away. Instead he looked around quickly before grabbing her arm and dragging her into a nearby empty classroom.

“I spoke with the Dark Lord.” Barty said once he’d shut the door. “You and I both know you don’t want this marriage. I could tell by the way you spoke about it with Evan and Severus. Also the way you look and speak to Regulus.”

“You don’t really know anything.” Amaryllis said getting a little nervous.

What if the Dark Lord knew about their hesitation with their marriage? Would he do something?

“Is it really that obvious?” She asked her fear becoming evident in her voice.

“Only to people who know about it.” He said.

They stood in silence for a moment. She hoped everything her and Regulus had discussed over the summer meant things between them were resolved. She hoped it no longer seemed to those around them that they didn’t want to be together. Because they were okay with it now. They had accepted it and were going to try to be happy with one another.

“Regulus had an idea to get us out of it.” She said. “But we decided against it. We didn’t want anger anyone. Besides it wasn’t like he was going along with it anyway.”

“And you were?” He asked.

“I tried.” She corrected. “It didn’t go very well. No matter how many times I tried.”

“What was his idea?” He said moving closer to her.

“He said we should try to date other purebloods.” She said standing her ground.

“Right, Evan and Wilkes.” He said realising. They stood in silence for a moment before he continued. “You’re right. He doesn’t look like he’s trying to take his own advice.”

Barty was now standing so close to Amaryllis that under normal circumstances she probably would have felt uncomfortable yet for some reason she found herself unable to find any feelings towards it. The whole situation was reminding her of that day in the train with Corbin.

“What if you tried again?” Barty muttered.

“What exactly do you mean?” Amaryllis asked in almost a whisper.

Before she had a chance to say anything else his lips were on hers. A small part of her had expected this would happen. There had been a small niggling in the back of her mind that told her to predict this. But she’d always suspected that maybe that was wrong.

Kissing Barty was different to kissing both Evan and Corbin. Kissing Corbin had been meaningful and felt as though he was scared let go. Kissing Evan had been soft and felt as though he could tell exactly what she was thinking. Kissing Barty was like neither of these. It was rough and angry as if something could pull him away at any moment. But now she was the one who was scared to let go.

She didn’t want to let go. She couldn’t give herself to him.

She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes.

“Barty, I’m sorry, I can’t.” She said grabbing her bag which she’d dropped to the ground in her surprise and ran out.

She couldn’t deal with this. Kissing Barty felt wrong. She didn’t want to be stuck in a situation like that. She couldn’t get herself stuck in a situation like that. Not when things were just starting to work out with Regulus again.

* * *

Amaryllis found spending time with Regulus, Timothy and Corbin again was strange. On one hand it felt like they were back to the beginning, like when she first got there. But on the other hand it was strange. Every time they were together Corbin would glare at her. It was still partially a mystery to her as to what she had done to cause him to be so harsh towards her.

But it didn’t matter to her too much. She was growing closer to Regulus again which was exactly what they needed to do considering how close the date of the wedding was growing. Because of all the time they were spending together, the two were slowly getting back to where they had been with their friendship before Walburga had intervened with her grand ideas.

The group, as a whole, wasn’t too bad. Regulus was good. Timothy was nice enough. It was only Corbin who was a problem.

He had developed a habit of saying nasty things about her. The accuracy of these comments was questionable at best, but he still continued to say them. Sometimes, not very often, he would make them in front of Amaryllis. In these instances she would try to laugh it off, but her eyes would glaze over slightly for the rest of the time she was with the group. More often than not though he would make comments when she wasn’t around. Mostly to Timothy and Regulus, the latter of who would tell her what was said.

This had been going on for a few weeks into the year when Amaryllis had finally had enough. She wasn’t going to deal with everything Corbin was saying about her, to her face and behind her back.

So one day when she walked into the common room to see him, Regulus and Timothy sitting in front of the fireplace, Regulus visibly uncomfortable, Timothy conflicted and Corbin laughing she knew it was time to confront him. If something he was laughing at made Regulus uncomfortable and Timothy conflicted then it was most likely a joke at her expense or insult towards her.

Without saying anything she walked over to the group and stood directly in front of Corbin.

“Can I talk to you?” She asked him.

He looked around her to Regulus who just shrugged. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that if she was angry this wasn’t going to end well for Corbin.

Corbin nodded and led her up into his dorm. It was the only place he could think of where they could talk privately

“What’s your deal?” She asked him once he’d shut the door. “What do you have against me?”

“You lie with every breath.” He said.

“Not this again.” She said. “The only things I’ve kept from you are things I can’t tell anyone because it will impact my survival here. And I haven’t lied about those things, I’ve just withheld the truth. Maybe fudged some of the details to make it more believable, but not outright lied. You want to know the real reason Regulus and I were sneaking out that night?”

“Go on.” He tried.

“It was for one of those meetings.” She said. “With Severus, Evan, Rabastan and Edwin. We were not sneaking off to do things behind your back. I thought you would at least realise my morals were better than that.”

“You joined them at the beginning of sixth year?” He asked.

Carefully thinking things through she glanced at the door before pulling back her left sleeve.

“Summer before.” Amaryllis said.

“Marked at sixteen.” Corbin muttered as he ran his fingers over the mark. “How did you manage that?”

“I’m to be a Black.” She explained. “That sort of a name gives you power.”

“So you’re actually one of them?” He asked. “And you were when we were…”

“I was.” She said. “But I couldn’t tell you until I knew for certain that you too supported the cause. I couldn’t have to turning me in to Dumbledore or the Ministry. And now that I know you support us, you know. Now please can you stop all this nonsense. I didn’t do anything wrong. You just perceived my actions as worse than they were.”

“Alright.” He responded before heading to the door.

Amaryllis rolled her sleeve back down and began fixing the cuff.

“Don’t say anything to Reg or Timothy.” She said. “I don’t want Reg to know I told you, and Timothy doesn’t know yet, as far as I know.”

Corbin nodded before heading out of the room, followed shortly by Amaryllis who seemed a lot calmer than she had been recently. She was glad to have finally fixed things after a year.

* * *

For the rest of the time before the break things with Amaryllis, Regulus, Corbin and Timothy were back to normal. Well as normal as they were before Amaryllis and Corbin’s relationship. There was limited strain on the friendship, and everyone got along. The reservations Amaryllis had originally held for Timothy were gone. They were all good friends and got along well with one another.

“Mother wrote to me.” Regulus said to the group one day when they were in the library studying. “She asked me if any of our friends were coming.”

“Obviously we’re inviting Corbin and Timothy.” Amaryllis said quickly. “Would it be possible for me to ask Lucinda and Madelyn?”

“They’re both in Slytherin?” He confirmed.

“Of course.” She answered. “I wouldn’t dream of suggesting someone not in Slytherin.”

Regulus sent her a smile. He knew that she’d worked out exactly how to act in front of others to create the perfect image. She wasn’t going to let that falter.

“Are you going to ask Crouch?” Timothy asked.

“Absolutely not.” Amaryllis said. “I’d rather he not think we are friends.”

“What happened?” Regulus asked. “I thought you were friends.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She told him beginning to get rather flustered over the conversation.

Regulus sent her and accusatory glance but decided it would be best if he dropped it. He didn’t want to press her for information when she clearly didn’t want to reveal anything about it to them. He wasn’t going to be so harsh as to force her to tell him things. She would tell him when she was ready or if it was important.

Amaryllis didn’t want to talk about what had happened with Barty. Considering they were still at Hogwarts and he was still around, occasionally following, she didn’t want him to gain any sort of bad reputation because of something she said.

“Do you want Snape and Rosier to come?” Regulus asked.

“Didn’t Bella invite them?” Amaryllis asked. “Because, well…” then she tapped her left arm under the table.

“Possibly.” He responded. “Owl them if you want though.”

“I will.” She said pulling over two fresh pieces of parchment to write letters to both of them.

Regulus smiled at her. He wanted her friends to be there considering she didn’t have any family that would or could come. He knew that it wouldn’t be a small wedding regardless. Walburga would never let that happen. But he also knew that she should have people she was close with of her own accord, not people Walburga forced her to be friends with.

Amaryllis finished writing her letters and got up from her seat. She headed towards the owlery wanting to send her letter out immediately so Evan and Severus had some notice about the wedding. She wanted them to come. It would be good to see them again in a setting that wasn’t a meeting.

* * *

“Professor Slughorn?” Amaryllis asked having knocked on the door of her Head of House’s office. “May we speak to you?”

“Come in, come in.” The old, rather round man said as he came over to let the couple in.

They were nearing the end of the term and both Amaryllis and Regulus wanted to get the conversations with Professor Slughorn about their marriage out of the way before they left. It wouldn’t be fair to spring it on him when they got back especially when they knew in advance when it was occurring.

“Now, what is it you wish to discuss?” He asked the two of them as he offered them a seat.

“We wanted to inform you that over this coming break we will be married.” Regulus explained simply.

Slughorn stared at the two of them. He hadn’t expected this to be the case. Especially having witnessed all their interactions, and multiple of their small fights.

“Regulus’ mother, Walburga, originally insisted the wedding would be held over the summer however my persistence convinced her to move it to the winter.” Amaryllis explained. “However we would have been unable to postpone it until after we are finished at Hogwarts.”

“So this was your mother’s idea?” Slughorn confirmed looking over at Regulus having already suspected it wasn’t the idea of his students to be married while still at school.

“Yes, mother was rather insistent about it all.” Regulus responded.

“We wanted to say we do not need any special considerations or anything for it.” Amaryllis explained. “We are both happy to stay in our dorms until we finish the year. We have no plans or anything as we are still so young and still at school.”

“Of course, of course.” Slughorn said looking over the two students.

It was clear that neither of them was ready for the position they were being put in. They didn’t feel comfortable with it all. Yet they had to do it or risk banishment from the family. They had rules to follow.

“Thank you, sir.” Regulus said.

“Yes, thank you.” Amaryllis reiterated.

They stood up and headed towards the door.

“I will have to inform Professor Dumbledore of course.” Slughorn told them.

“Of course.” Regulus repeated.

They both knew the headmaster would be told of the arrangement. He wasn’t going to be kept in the dark about the situations of students at the school. That wouldn’t be professional.

Once Amaryllis and Regulus were out of Professor Slughorn’s classroom they smiled at one another. They were glad to have gotten that out of the way.


	19. Black Wedding

Although with every passing moment the wedding seemed to become more and more inevitable, both Amaryllis and Regulus had hoped Walburga would have a change of heart. That she would allow them to do things on their own and get married to who they wanted to in their own time.

But that wasn’t the case. They didn’t get a choice in this. That was how Amaryllis had ended up in one of the many rooms at Malfoy Manor with Narcissa and Bellatrix.

“You look beautiful Amy.” Narcissa said to Amaryllis as she adjusted the bride’s hair.

“I’m certain that I don’t.” Amaryllis responded looking down at her left forearm again. 

She was scared. Not about the wedding itself. That didn’t faze her. She was worried someone who opposed the Dark Lord would be in attendance and report her to the Ministry. She didn’t have the sort of name that could get her released. And there would be no denying anything with a mark so clearly visible.

Before anyone could say anything there was a knock at the door. Bellatrix went over to answer it as Narcissa was still messing with Amaryllis’ hair.

“My Lord?” Bellatrix asked in a rather surprised tone.

Amaryllis eyes snapped straight to the door while Narcissa removed her fingers from Amaryllis’ hair and stepped out from behind her to see the man who had just entered the room.

“I wish to speak to Merrin.” He said.

The other two women quickly nodded and collected their things, leaving the room. The Dark Lord watched as they exited the room until he heard the click of the door shutting. Then he turned back to Amaryllis.

“Lovely this is.” He said as he made his way around the room.

As he walked around Amaryllis followed him with her eyes. She watched as he looked around the room then over her as he walked around. She wasn’t sure but she thought she saw the hint of a smile on his lips when his eyes reached her completely bare left arm. The mark he had put there completely visible.

“You are proud of your mark?” He asked her.

“Of course, My Lord.” She said rather softly.

Although she had thought nothing to do with this wedding would make her more nervous than the fear of being arrested the circling and assessing that the Dark Lord was currently doing was giving her a strange feeling.

“You do not fear the implications of it?” He asked.

“I worry that someone such Sirius will crash the wedding and alert the Ministry.” She said unable to lie for once. “My only fear is being sent to Azkaban on my wedding day. A day in which I should be celebrating the beginning of my new life.”

“I have a proposition.” He told her. “I will conceal the mark for the duration of the wedding as long as you provide an heir to the Black family within a year.”

To say Amaryllis was shocked was an understatement. She would never have expected him to suggest a thing like this. Yet it made perfect sense. He didn’t want his followers locked away in Azkaban so making it appear as though she wasn’t one of them for her wedding seemed obvious.

“Considering we are both still at Hogwarts and wish to achieve our best in hopes of gaining knowledge to help you would it suffice if were to visibly have a child on the way in a year’s time?” She tried to negotiate knowing that pregnancy would be difficult and could cause her to miss classes were she still at Hogwarts.

“I expect nothing but the best.” He said as he took her arm in his hand and pressed his wand to the mark. “You have one day.”

Amaryllis nodded. “Thank you, My Lord.”

With that he swept out of the room leaving Amaryllis standing in shock, clutching her arm. It didn’t take long for Narcissa to race back into the room, now in her dark green gown. However in the short time it had taken for Narcissa to get to the room Amaryllis had slumped down in the seat in front of the mirror.

“What happened?” Narcissa asked.

“I think I just made a deal with the devil.” Amaryllis admitted knowing Narcissa would not understand the muggle reference she used but the older woman would certainly understand what had happened.

* * *

“I now pronounce you man and wife.” The ministry official in charge of the wedding said.

He waved his wand over the couple muttering some words so quietly that neither of them could make out what he was saying. Once he’s finished a strange feel came over the two of them.

They had been bonded together.

Not many couples had this done anymore but being that this was a Black family wedding it was obviously going to happen. There wasn’t going to be any room for the two of them to back out of this. They were joined for life.

A forced smile spread across Amaryllis face as she looked at the ministry official. Then she turned to face Regulus, her now husband, and the smile became less forced. The look he was giving her was comforting.

Regulus knew that she was worried about what they had just gotten themselves into. He’d known this would happen. It happened at every wedding he’d been to. It was so normal to him that he had long ago accepted it. He knew that for her it was new and scary and she feared it.

The two of them turned to face the people who had come. The began walking back down the aisle their hands joined.

There was only a small number of guests at the wedding that Amaryllis recognised. She of course knew the people from Hogwarts and the others who followed the Dark Lord. There were a few of Regulus’ relatives that she knew but the vast majority of those in attendance at her own wedding were a mystery to her.

Looking over the faces worried her. How was she supposed to live in a society where she only knew a select few people?

Then, as they reached the end of the aisle, a face caught Amaryllis’ eye. There was someone hiding in the shadows. Someone who should not have been there given the event and the other people present. Someone who she thought she would never see again.

Yet for some reason they had felt it necessary to be there.

* * *

If Amaryllis had ever dreamt up the most extravagant wedding she could imagine herself having it wouldn’t have come anywhere near as close to the one she actually had. With the Black family fortune and the importance of the name everything she had ever hoped for and more was there.

All the people there had been wonderful. She’d never imagined having to be introduced to so many people at her own wedding yet there she was.

While some of the people present had been friendly enough, telling her how lovely she looked and how wonderful everything was, a vast majority of the people there were as cold and distant as Regulus’ parents. It made sense with them being all being relatives, but it was still rather disconcerting. She hoped that although she was becoming a Black she wouldn’t become as cold as the members of the family she had met.

There was one interaction she’d had that had shocked her more than she liked to admit. Somehow Sirius had found his way into the wedding undetected. How he had known about it, she didn’t know. How he had even found her was another mystery. All she knew was he had.

_Amaryllis was leaning against the wall watching over everyone interacting with one another in an overly polite fashion. It was really rather strange to witness. She knew it was her wedding and she should be enjoying herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Not when she knew everything she told anyone was a lie. Everything she had said to get her too this point was a lie._

_So that was why she stood against the wall sipping the firewhisky she had managed to get, despite Walburga placing strict rules to prevent both the bride and groom from accessing the drink._

_“I always knew you and Reg were close, but I didn’t think this would happen.” Sirius said appearing on Amaryllis’s right._

_“What are you doing here Sirius?” Amaryllis asking._

_Upon hearing his voice she had whipped around to face him. She glanced around before grabbing his arm and dragging him away to an area where no one would see them and question why she would even consider talking to him._

_“You need to leave.” She told him. “If Walburga saw you…”_

_“She won’t.” He told her. “So, you’re my sister now.”_

_“I suppose so.” She said looking down at her hands still getting use to the rings now in place on her finger. Then she looked up at the man in front of her. “You never answered my question. What are you doing here?”_

_“I had to see for myself.” He said glancing down at her arm. “There were all the rumours that you joined alongside Regulus. We all know he joined. I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, I had to know for myself.”_

_Amaryllis rolled her eyes. She had to come up with a convincing story for why she wouldn’t join but Regulus did. But she would only us it if he brought that up._

_“Well look.” She said holding her arms out to him. “Now please leave. I don’t want you getting caught by them.”_

_“You’re so fixated on what they think of you.” He told her. “Why can’t you just be yourself?”_

_“Because being myself could get me killed.” She said. “I don’t have a death wish.”_

_“It seems to me like you do.” Sirius told her. “Be careful Liz, they might turn on you.”_

_“I’m one of them.” She said. “I’m a Black.”_

_With that Sirius shook his head and headed out. He knew she couldn’t be away from everyone for too long without them getting suspicious. He didn’t want her getting caught._

_Amaryllis watched as he left. She knew that although they were family now they were so far removed from one another that it wasn’t like they could be seen caring for one another. Although she knew that deep down both would go to other if they really needed anything._

It was because of that singular interaction that she knew she had made the right choice. Although her deal with the Dark Lord could prove to inhibit her in the future, the feeling of knowing she’d escaped possible arrest meant she would take whatever struggles came with her decision.

Despite everything she had enjoyed herself overall. The people watching was her favourite. It gave her the chance to see how all these people interacted with one another and further build the image she would be presenting to this community.

But really, what was wedding supposed to be like. It wasn’t like she had many weddings to compare it to.

* * *

Regulus on the other hand was not impressed. He just saw everything as his mother going overboard with the whole thing. He’s known the wedding would be extravagant. It was his mother preparing it after all. But it wasn’t like he could have done much.

While Amaryllis had had some extent of veto power, his mother’s had been much higher. Considering she was representing both Regulus and Amaryllis as their mother she was found making decisions without consulting either Amaryllis, Regulus or Narcissa, who had been acting as Amaryllis’ decision maker while she was at school. Her excuse had always been that the two mothers would have decided on that element and considering she was acting as Amaryllis’ mother she could make the decision.

That was how they ended up with a full extravagant Black family wedding. One that only had small elements that were representative of the couple they were supposedly celebrating.

Although it hadn’t so much been the atmosphere of the wedding that had really annoyed him so much as some of the people who were in attendance. It was the somewhat distant relatives that annoyed him. Of course they all knew him, but they didn’t know Amaryllis.

Because she wasn’t a well-known pureblood in England everyone questioned her and wondered why she was even considered as his wife. This led to some rather awful interactions. The worst of which was his great aunt, Cassiopeia. She had been very inquisitive, asking many questions about Amaryllis’ past and family. Questions Amaryllis wasn’t overly thrilled about answering.

_Regulus had been talking to his father when he noticed Cassiopeia talking to Amaryllis. His wife was looking rather nervous as the older woman questioned her. He could see her glancing around the room in hopes of catching his eye. When she finally did the panic in her gaze told him he needed to go help her._

_Excusing himself from the conversation with his father, Regulus made his way over to the two women._

_“So dear, where exactly is your family from?” Cassiopeia asked Amaryllis._

_“I come from a small town in Australia.” Amaryllis explained. “The magical communities there prefer those towns because they’re rather removed from the large population of muggle society.”_

_Cassiopeia pursed her lips. It seemed as though she wasn’t believing Amaryllis’ story. There was something about her that made her seem like she didn’t trust the younger girl._

_“Amaryllis, come, mother wants to speak to us.” Regulus said from his spot behind Cassiopeia._

_Cassiopeia spun around to face her great nephew. As she did so Amaryllis shot him a grateful look._

_He knew his relatives and how they could be. He didn’t want to risk her accidently exposing the truth about her family and her past with all the questions. He knew there was a high chance she could get herself caught in a lie. No matter how talented she was._

_There wasn’t any time for Cassiopeia to say anything before Amaryllis ducked around her to place her hand in Regulus’ so they could disappear into the crowd._

_“Thank you.” Amaryllis muttered when they were a little bit away._

_“What was that about?” He asked her._

_“I didn’t want to expose myself.” She said. “It was getting close. The questions she was asking were getting more and more specific. I was scared she was going to ask something I didn’t have an answer ready for.”_

_The two of them had found their way into a corner. The look of panic on Amaryllis’ face was back even though she didn’t really have anything to worry about._

_“Don’t worry.” He told her. “I’ll stay with you. I can fend off any difficult questions.”_

_She relaxed, but only slightly._

_Then she kissed him._

_Their first kiss, ever._

_It was only once they were already forced into a lifelong commitment that they were able to accept it._

_It was only then that they would finally kiss._

It was weird looking back on it. She had managed to kiss multiple other guys between when he found out about the betrothal and when they actually got married yet the first time the two of them had kissed was at their wedding.

Regulus was just glad it had happened at all. He could see that she was finally realising that he cared about her. That they were meant to be together.

While their entire relationship was backwards that didn’t change the fact that the two of them were made for one another.


	20. Better Sorry Than Safe

Amaryllis and Regulus sat in his room. Walburga couldn’t tell them off now. It wouldn’t matter if they were doing anything that would have previously been deemed inappropriate, they were married now, they were allowed privacy.

They weren’t, however, doing anything. They were just sitting and waiting. Kreacher had disappeared with the Dark Lord. Regulus had volunteered the elf for the task when he was spoken to at the wedding, after Amaryllis’ had already made her deal.

Amaryllis and Regulus were sitting in silence. Neither was happy with this arrangement. Neither wanted to be there but both knew that they didn’t have a choice.

Suddenly they heard a crack and Kreacher appeared in the room. The elf stood shaking for a moment, dripping wet, before collapsing on the ground. Both teenagers jumped from their spot on the bed and raced over to the elf. Both were worried.

“Kreacher, what’s wrong?” Amaryllis asked.

“Tell us what happened.” Regulus said.

No words came from the elf. There was a slight rasp of his voice but no coherent words came out.

“Water.” Regulus muttered. “Get him some water Amy.”

Amaryllis jumped up and grabbed the empty cup off Regulus desk. It was dusty and looked as though it had been there for years. She knew this glass well. It had been on Regulus’ desk since she had gotten there.

He had once told her that he’d taken a cup of water into his room but was too afraid of what his mother would say to take the glass out. He’d told Kreacher not to touch the glass either. Eventually the glass ended up staying on the desk just collecting dust.

“Scorgify.” She muttered pointing her wand at the glass. “Aguamenti.”

The now clean glass filled with water and she handed it to the elf. The elf took the glass gratefully and drank it. After multiple refills of the glass Kreacher could speak, although he was very weak.

“What happened?” Amaryllis asked echoing Regulus previous question.

She knew the elf would have to answer her now. There was none of the ambiguity that had previously existed. She was a Black and Kreacher had to respond.

“The Dark Lord took Kreacher with him to a cave beside the sea.” Kreacher explained. “And beyond the cave there was a cavern, and in the cavern was a great black lake. There was a boat. There was a basin full of potion on the island. The Dark Lord made Kreacher drink it.”

Knowing the Dark Lord the teenagers knew the potion couldn’t have been anything good. They glanced at one another before looking back at the elf who was shaking again.

“Kreacher drank, and as he drank, he saw terrible things.” He continued. “Kreacher’s insides burned. Kreacher cried for Master Regulus to save him, he cried for Mistress Amaryllis, he cried for his Mistress Black, but the Dark Lord only laughed. He made Kreacher drink all the potion. He dropped a locket into the empty basin. He filled it with more potion. And then the Dark Lord sailed away, leaving Kreacher on the island.”

Amaryllis knew Regulus’ anger would be rising at this. Her husband cared greatly for the family’s elf. Kreacher was Regulus’ closest friend. The complete disregard shown by the Dark Lord towards Kreacher made Regulus furious.

Regulus felt Amaryllis’ hand close around his. She knew him and she cared. As the small group sat on the floor she leaned into him as a way of showing her support.

“Kreacher needed water, he crawled to the island’s edge and he drank from the black lake, and hands, dead hands, came out of the water and dragged Kreacher under the surface.” Kreacher finished.

The teenagers stared at the elf. It was appalling what had happened. Neither felt it was right to support someone who would act this way to someone they cared about, regardless of if the one they cared about was human or not.

“This isn’t good.” Regulus said after a short break. “There’s something strange going on.”

“Why would he need a locket to be so heavily protected?” Amaryllis wondered.

“Nothing good.” He answered before his eyes widened and he stood up and left the room.

Amaryllis nearly fell to the ground at Regulus’ sudden movement having still been leaning against him. She watched the door after he left confused as to what he was doing. It wasn’t long before he came back an old looking brown book.

“What do you have?” Amaryllis asked him.

“Do you think it could be this?” He said opening the book and holding it open to a page for her to read.

“Of the Horcrux, wickedest of magical inventions, we shall not speak nor give direction.” She read out. “But what is it?”

“You contain a piece of your soul in an object.” He explained.

“Why do you know that?” She was terrified.

“I did a lot of reading when I was younger.” He shrugged.

They stopped talking, both looking back down at Kreacher who was still on the ground in front of them.

“I want you to stay hidden.” Regulus told Kreacher. “Don’t leave the house. We don’t want him knowing you made it out.”

“Reg, what are you planning?” Amaryllis asked.

“Something that could get us both killed.” He told her.

She just watched him for a moment before nodding. They had to do this. No one was going to get away with almost killing Kreacher. They were going to stop him.

* * *

It was a couple nights later when Amaryllis and Regulus were working on their plan to retrieve the locket. Regulus had decided to leave a note. He had been adamant on signing the note. Amaryllis had warned him against signing his note but he had refused to listen.

To the Dark Lord  
I know I will be dead long before you read this but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can.   
I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more.

Regulus had wanted to sign the note. He had wanted the Dark Lord to know who had discovered his secret, that it was one of his own men, but Amaryllis knew better. She knew about her deal, though she hadn’t yet told Regulus, and there was no way she was letting him make himself a target. Not when it would most likely fall back onto her and their child later on as well.

It had taken a while, but Regulus had agreed that he wouldn’t sign the note. Amaryllis folded the paper and placed it inside the locket.

Then they were off to Kreacher’s cupboard to collect the elf. As they walked down the hall they were whispering to one another. This was the first big thing they were doing together since they had put aside their differences.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Amaryllis whispered to him once they had passed his parent’s room.

“Do you really want the Dark Lord to be unkillable?” Regulus asked in response.

“Well of course not.” She responded. “He’s foul.”

“Yet you say exact what he wants to hear.” He pointed out.

“I say exactly what everyone wants to hear.” She corrected. “I’m surprised you hadn’t noticed.”

They reached Kreacher’s cupboard. A strange silence fell over them. They knew they were acting strangely. Regulus asked Kreacher to take the three of them to the cave the Dark Lord had taken the elf to.

As soon as they were out of Grimmauld Place they knew. The silence which had filled the air surrounding them was overrun with the sounds of rushing waves. The musty smell of the house was replaced with the smell of salt, a smell Amaryllis had not smelt in years. It was the sea.

They were in a dark tunnel with water lapping around their knees. As soon as Amaryllis had lit her wand she realised it was a bad idea. The tunnel was smaller than she pictured and the higher water level didn’t help. The slimy appearance of the walls told her that with the rise of the tide the tunnel would become completely filled.

“We’re lucky it’s not high tide.” She muttered all her old knowledge of the ocean and tides coming back to her.

Regulus sent her a look not understanding what she was talking about but they made their way along the tunnel. The air around them was freezing. The fact that it was the middle of winter made it worse. The coast was always cold.

When they reached the end of the tunnel they were met with a solid wall. Regulus placed his hand against the wall slightly confused.

“What now Kreacher?” Regulus asked.

“Blood.” Was all Kreacher could say, but even that came out softer than anything either of the humans had heard from him before.

Before Regulus could even react Amaryllis had put a small cut in her arm. She ran her finger over the cut and wiped the blood on her finger against the rock. The rock wall vanished leaving the outline of an arch in the wall.

“Amy, you shouldn’t.” Regulus told her as they made their way into the cave.

“Your blood is linked to an ancient family.” Amaryllis told him. “There might be some way for him to recognise it. Mine’s different.”

Regulus nodded taking her arm and healing the cut. She smiled at him and continued. They walked along the cave side by side until they reached a great black lake. It was so large that neither could make out any other shore. It seemed to be a lake that went on forever.

As they looked around they noticed that the ceiling was so high that there was no way to make it out. There was a misty green light coming from somewhere in the lake that they could only assume was the centre. The light, which was reflected in the dead still water around it seemed rather eerie.

Apart from the light from their wands and the strange green glow from the water, the cave was completely dark. But even their wand light wasn’t bright enough to fill much of the cave.

Amaryllis bent down to touch the perfectly still water but her wrist was caught by Regulus.

“It’s full of Inferi.” Regulus told her. “If you touch it they’ll try to pull you under.”

She nodded and stood up once again. Kreacher led them along the side of the lake until they reached a spot on the side that looked exactly the same as everywhere else.

“There is a boat.” Kreacher muttered. “Master Regulus must it tap with his wand.”

Regulus put his hand out and closed it around something invisible. He then tapped his hand with his wand and a thick coppery green chain appeared in his hand. He began to pull at the chain, Amaryllis moving over and assisting him until a tiny boat broke the surface of the water and joined them on the bank of the lake.

“Only one.” Kreacher muttered as he stared at the boat.

Regulus moved to climb into the boat.

“Don’t leave me here.” Amaryllis said to him.

“One of us had to do this.” He said.

“You have a family, here, I don’t.” She said. “Let me go.”

“I won’t let you get hurt.” He told her.

“I won’t go back home without you.” She told him.

“You go first then.” He told her. “I’ll wait here, get to whatever island there is and I’ll come after you. Don’t do anything.”

She nodded and climbed into the boat with Kreacher. The boat began to move across the lake silently. The silence was deafening. After a short while the boat had moved far enough that there was no longer any sight of the walls. It was just a bleak emptiness.

It took longer than expected before the misty green light became closer. Then the boat hit something. She knew she was there. She climbed out of the boat and onto the island. Kreacher and the boat started moving back towards the other shore to collect Regulus.

Amaryllis waited. She walked along the smooth rock of the island towards the green light. As she made it over to the light she saw a stone basin sitting on a pedestal. As she looked into the basin she saw an emerald liquid emitting a glow.

She moved her hand down to touch the liquid but found she could not. Her hand would be within a few centimetres of it but it would not reach the liquid.

“Amy?” She heard Regulus call.

He was on the island.

Regulus moved across the island, trailed by Kreacher to the spot where Amaryllis stood in front of the basin.

“Someone has to drink it.” Regulus muttered as he too tried to touch the liquid.

“Are you certain?” Amaryllis asked.

“Of course.” He said as he looked at Kreacher who just nodded.

Kreacher summoned a goblet and handed it to Regulus. As he took the goblet from the elf, he pulled the locket out of his pocket and handed it to Amaryllis.

“Swap them, give the other one to Kreacher.” He said. “Then leave.”

Then he scooped some of the liquid into the goblet.

“I told you I won’t go home without you.” She said as he put it to his lips.

He didn’t say anything he just drank.

“I have to.” He muttered as he placed the goblet back into the basin taking another drink.

Amaryllis stood clutching the locket in her hands as he drank the second goblet. As he placed the goblet to his lips a third time his knees buckled underneath him and she raced forward to help him. She handed the locket to Kreacher who watched on in silence.

Regulus didn’t want help. His determination to do it alone had him downing the third goblet and filling it a fourth time. As he drank the fourth goblet a choking noise began to come from his throat and he dropped the now empty goblet to the ground.

Amaryllis picked it up and looked at Kreacher who was staring at the teenagers. She hoped for a sign that Regulus could stop drinking whatever horrible potion was in the basin but the look in Kreacher’s eye told her Regulus had to keep going.

So she scooped up a fifth goblet full of the liquid and placed it to his lips.

“Come on Reg.” She whispered to him as she pour the liquid down his throat tears beginning to form in her eyes at the look of pain across his face.

As she filled the goblet once again she noticed the way he was looking at her. He was terrified. She poured the liquid down his throat and scooped up another.

No one dared say anything. There were small strangled noises coming from Regulus every now and then emphasising the pain he was feeling from drinking the potion. Amaryllis would let out a small whimper every now and then at Regulus’ sound but she would not allow herself to properly cry. She had to hold herself together for him.

“Stop.” She heard Regulus say in a raspy tone.

“I can’t.” She told him. “You have to finish it. Then we’ll be safe.”

Amaryllis didn’t know if she believed herself. She could only hope by doing this they would be able to be safe once more. That they could escape this psycho they were bound to.

He tried to push her away. He seemed to be in more pain than he had been in before. As she scooped the goblet into the basin once again she realised she was at the end of the potion. Taking the last goblet of the horrific potion she poured it down his throat.

Then it all stopped. Regulus collapsed on the ground in front of her. All his small painful noises stopped.

“No, no, no, Reg, don’t leave me.” She cried as she knelt down and began to shake him. “Kreacher, do something.”

Kreacher had swapped the lockets and was about to disappear back to Grimmauld Place. The elf looked at his master lying on the ground not moving, his new wife shaking him and crying.

“Reg, please.” She cried as she leant over him.

Kreacher had disappeared. Realising what she could do she pulled her wand from her pocket and pointed it at him.

“Rennervate.” She muttered through her sobs.

Nothing happened.

“Rennervate” She tried again.

His eyes began to move. As they began to open he didn’t have any time to respond as Amaryllis threw herself at him and kissed him.

“I thought I’d lost you.” She cried.

“Water.” He said in a barely audible voice.

“When we get home.” She said before turning her head and calling. “Kreacher.”

The elf appeared beside them.

“Please take us home.” She said. “Reg needs water.”

Kreacher grabbed hold of both of them and they reappeared in Regulus bedroom.

Quickly she helped him into his bed and grabbed his glass off his desk. She cleaned and filled it with water before trying to help him drink it.

“I promise this one is water.” She said when she noticed his movement away from her hand.

He just nodded and drank. Neither was sure how many glasses of water he drank but eventually he stopped. They were both still in shock at what had happened. Neither wanted to say anything.

Amaryllis help him get his shoes off before removing her own and getting into his bed beside him. He looked strangely at her regarding her actions.

“I can’t leave, not tonight.” She said. “Not after what happened.”

He just nodded and pulled her close to him. She snuggled up beside him and the two of them fell asleep in each other’s arms for the first time.


	21. Dear Daughter

Out of the entire time Amaryllis had been at Hogwarts she didn’t feel she’d made anywhere near as many mistakes as she had over the previous break. She didn’t have any regrets over anything else she had done except the two decisions she’d made over the break.

Her first mistake had been the deal she’d made with the Dark Lord. Who else would make that deal? Who else would decide to have a child without consulting their partner first? That was the worst thing she could have done. By not telling Regulus she’d broken every layer of trust they’d created. All of them. Telling Regulus. That was something she needed to do, and soon.

Although, the other thing was worse. Much worse.

It had taken her mere days to start to regret what she and Regulus had done. Well, only partially regret. She was glad they had done it but that didn’t take away the worry of what could happen because of it. If anyone ever found out they would be dead.

Although she hoped no one would find out. Though she wasn’t sure how they could. She hoped no one could rat them out. Though she knew it was probably likely that it would happen at some point. She just hoped if it were to happen it would be before they had the child she had promised the Dark Lord.

The child. Everything came back to that.

She still hadn’t told Regulus. How was she supposed to? Was she just mean to come out with, ‘oh by the way I promised the Dark Lord that we would have a child within a year after we finish at Hogwarts’? She couldn’t just say that.

Then there was the matter of if something happened to them after they’d had a child. What would they do? Their child was certainly not growing up with Walburga. No way. Nothing like that would happen to her child. That woman would just corrupt the child’s innocent mind.

No, there had to be an alternative solution. She had to think of one.

But Amaryllis knew she couldn’t just leave this child all alone. It would just cause them to hate their parents. They had to have some form of a connection to their parents.

A diary.

One that the child could read when they were older and able to understand the choices their parents had made. Something that would allow both child and parent to be connected.

Then Amaryllis remembered. She jumped up from her bed and began rummaging around in her trunk. She knew she had an empty book in there. She had bought it when they had gone to Diagon Alley before school went back. After a short while of searching she found the small, black book.

Pulling out the quill and ink she had stored she glanced over at the door. There was no way she was letting anyone see this. No one could know about this child. Not before they were born.

She knew if she started this she would have to carry this book with her at all times. If it slipped into the wrong person’s hands Regulus could find out. If he heard about the deal she’d made from anyone else there was no telling what he’d do. She couldn’t let that happen.

But she had to write. So she did.

_Dear Son/Daughter,_

_At the time I am starting this diary you are not yet in existence, hence the opening. I do however know it will not be long before you are. I suppose you deserve to know the truth. Your father and I were married recently, a few weeks ago. We are still currently at Hogwarts as we are both still only 17. This marriage was arranged, obviously. Neither of us were thrilled at first when we found out. Well, I didn’t understand it really. I had to ask Corbin for help. But that isn’t really relevant._

_The whole reason you are here is because of a deal. On the day of our wedding I was preparing, I was dressed and it was almost time for me to go out but then he came in, the Dark Lord. I made a deal with him that Reg and I would produce an heir to the Black family and he would cover my Dark Mark for the duration of the wedding. I didn’t want someone to crash the wedding, see the mark and arrest me. I was not going from my wedding to Azkaban. Regardless of if I wanted the wedding or not at first it was still my wedding, and no one wants to be arrested on a day like that. A day that’s supposed to be happy._

_So yes, you will be here because of a deal but don’t worry, it doesn’t mean we will love you any less._

_Love,  
 ~~Amaryllis~~ Mum_

* * *

Charms. Amaryllis still hated the class. It was somewhat important though. She couldn’t just pull herself entirely out of all spell casting classes. That wouldn’t set her up very well for the future. But charms was the only one she could take. She’d failed all the others. Well, not failed, just didn’t get good enough marks to continue.

“Amy, pay attention.” Regulus said jabbing his elbow into her side from the seat beside her.

She snapped her head up from where it was slowly leaning down towards the table. Glancing down at her desk, she noticed the diary in front of her. She wanted to write in that, give her child more knowledge of who she is, instead of writing notes from what the teacher, Professor Flitwick, was saying.

Her eyes slowly moved over to see what Regulus was doing. His head was down focusing on what he was writing. He was so focused on what he was doing. She could always get his notes if she really needed.

Pulling the diary forward she opened it softly, her eyes focused on Flitwick. As soon as the diary was open she began her writing.

_Darling,_

_I suppose my story is a rather odd one. You of course will go to Hogwarts from your first year as most of the students do. My story is a lot more confusing._

_When I was 15, barely 15, I was running through the woods at the back of my house. I lived in the country. A small town. In a large house. With a huge back yard with its own woods._

_As I ran through the woods it changed ever so slightly and I found myself in the Forbidden Forest here at Hogwarts. I ran into your Uncle Sirius and his friends James and Peter. They took me to their dorm. I was so scared. I didn’t where I was or what was happening._

_After I was sorted into Slytherin, Sirius took me to meet your father, Regulus. We went to speak to Professor Dumbledore about why I was there and what was going on._

_For the rest of that year I spent each week doing an accelerated version of the first four years at Hogwarts. It was stressful to say the least. What other choice did I have though?_

_That summer Regulus convinced his mother…_

“Miss Merrin?” Amaryllis heard Professor Flitwick call.

“It’s Mrs Black, sir.” She said without looking up or even thinking.

By this point in the day it had become instinct. Being the end of the day she had gone through multiple classes having her teachers calling her “Miss Merrin” as they did not yet know about the events of the break.

There were a few gasps from those who she had not had class with earlier in the day, the few who hadn’t already heard. The strangest reaction was of course the teacher. His face moved through a collection of confusion and surprise.

Clearly they had not heard of the developments over the break. Honestly these people needed to get on top of their gossip. It was rather embarrassing.

* * *

Amaryllis and Regulus had started sneaking off to an empty classroom after they’d finished their classes each day. They were glad to be able to spend some time away from others. They wanted to discuss everything that was happening and what they planned to do considering what had happened over the holidays.

Every day Amaryllis tossed up the idea of telling Regulus about the deal she had made. Most days she would settle on the idea that it would be best to tell him so there were no surprises later yet every time she freaked out and couldn’t do it.

It made her feel bad. Here she was preparing a journal for her to give to their child to help them better understand their parents and Regulus had nothing to do with it. Really it wasn’t right.

“Amy, what’s wrong?” He asked her one day when they were in the classroom.

“Do you want a family?” She asked him. “Do you want us to have children?”

“It’s what’s expected of me, of us.” He told her. “I’m expected to carry on the family name.”

“But what do you want?” She asked.

The whole time they’d been together he’d only ever spoken about the expectations of him, not what he actually wanted. She didn’t know what he wanted because he wouldn’t tell her.

“I think a family away from all this madness would be perfect.” He said stepping closer to her.

“So once all of this is over?” She asked.

“Once all this is done.” He agreed.

Amaryllis tried not to grimace. This wasn’t the worst answer. She could tell him it was a mistake. She supposed that would have to be the only viable option. What else could she do?

She sent Regulus a smile. She’d always wanted kids but even she knew that right now wasn’t going to be the best time to have them. Right now was probably the worst time. But they had to.

“I want our own family.” She explained. “One away from all the madness. Away from your parents. I want our family to be our own. No one else.”

“That sounds perfect.” He told her leaning down to kiss her.

She smiled back at him. He was just making this harder for her.

* * *

As the end of the year drew closer Amaryllis found Barty Crouch to be even more irritating than before. He followed her more. He tried to talk to her more. He tried to sit with her more often. She just wanted to live her life as that, her own. She didn’t need creepy boys, yes boys, following her.

“Barty, please leave me alone.” She called out, stopping in her tracks as she felt his presence following her.

“Why?” He asked her as he caught up enough to stand beside her.

“I told you, I’m married, accept that.” She said. “All I want is to spend my time alone or with my husband. You are not my husband, therefore, leave me be.”

“Are you certain?” He asked her.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.” She told him.

Amaryllis had enough on her mind. She didn’t want to be worrying about Barty stalking her. Without thinking her eyes travelled towards the books in her arms. They went straight to the small journal she’d been writing in. That was the only thing that mattered to her at this point. Nothing else mattered.

She stormed off, away from Barty, leaving him behind. She ducked into an empty classroom as soon as she could and sat herself down.

_My Child,_

_I hope, for both your own and my sake, that the name Bartemius Crouch Jr is not of any familiarity to you. If it is then I believe that I have, somehow, failed you miserably._

_To me Barty Crouch was a friend. I mean that in nice terms. We were friends for a while. Me, Barty, Evan and Severus. I would help Barty with his studies although I don’t see why he wanted my help considering I wasn’t the greatest in any of my classes. Except History of Magic._

_Evan did however, at one point, make it clear that Barty had developed feelings for me. I didn’t know this at the time although I probably should have realised._

_It first became clear when I started spending more time with Evan. This would be Evan Rosier. He is one I hope you know. He was very lovely. Honestly. But things didn’t work out between us. We were just better as friends._

_After that I noticed Barty sending me strange looks. It wasn’t until the beginning of my seventh year, after Evan and Severus were already finished, that Barty said anything. In fact he sort of attacked me in a way. He dragged me into a classroom and kissed me then told me that he thought we were meant to be together._

_Your father and I had already decided at this point that we would try to make things work as our wedding was only a few months away at this point. I told Barty of this but he tried to convince me that he was a better suitor. Eventually I got away from him._

_Barty still, to this day, follows me around Hogwarts and tries to get me to see that I made the wrong choice. Reg and I are happy. I am glad we put aside our differences._

_Please, if Bartemius Crouch Jr, Barty, is someone you know of, have met, or even just seen across Diagon Alley, please hex him or something, anything. It would make me proud. But I hope you don’t know him as it would be worse for you, for our whole family, however big it is._

_Much love,  
Mum_

Amaryllis smiled at her most recent entry. She hoped it wouldn’t be needed. That her child wouldn’t have to follow her advice. But she knew that it was likely Barty would still be there, following her, until one of them disappeared.

* * *

The year had ended and the seventh years were finished. Done. Real adults. Everyone was excited. They couldn’t wait to see what the world had to offer for them.

Everyone except Amaryllis. She knew what the world had to offer for her. She was to bear a child and raise it. There was nothing else for her to do. That was her duty.

But she still hadn’t told Regulus.

Today was the day. It had to be the day.

When everyone was so happy, and there were so many crowds, he couldn’t cause a scene, could he? But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t wreck this happiness. Not when there was so little of it in the world. She knew she had to wait.

The only problem was the more she waited the closer it got to the day she would be bearing a child. Something in her mind told her that waiting until that day was the best option. Waiting until she knew she was with child to tell him was her best option. It would stop him trying to find an alternate solution something she was fairly certain he would try to do.

She couldn’t tell him. She just couldn’t.


End file.
